She-Hulk; Going Native

As Jen angrily and resignedly stormed off to her office, the only people in her building she felt any gratitude for was the maintenance crew. If it weren't for them, the way she would slam her office door shut behind her and throw herself against it inside would have sent the whole structure crumbling, had they not fortified the walls.

Jen covered her face in her hands, her exasperated groan muffled by her palms while her ragged eyes stared blankly between her fingers. Jen had always done her best to mind her strength and emotions, but sometimes the practice of law and order could turn even the most steel-nerved of lawyers into the worst kinds of stereotypes of her famous cousin.

"Days hitting the books," Jen grumbled to herself. "Eight hours plying up that jury..." she lifted herself up off the door and stumbled over to her desk, the indignant rage that had carried her to her office quickly having cooled to a tepid resignation. Her collapse into her chair was no less forceful. Her office furniture, fortunately, was just as sturdy as the walls surrounding it.

"...and that asshole goes and pleads insanity! And of course they're going to give it to 'em! He got caught in a chicken costume! He literally goes around calling himself the Gamecock!"

Slumping into her chair with a sigh, Jen leaned back and rubbed the bridge of her nose. The last few weeks have not been kind to the esteemed lawyer. Paperwork, bureaucracy and good old fashion pompous strutting from attorneys, clients and judges alike had taken their toll, even for the one-and-only sensational She-Hulk. And for once, the world didn't seem on the brink of collapse, and save for basic patrol duties Jen couldn't justify avoiding her career to juggle her side-hustle as an Avenger. Jen lifted herself up and started idly sorting through her mail.

Sifting through every new memo and letter for the further trials and plea deals she had laid out ahead of her, in a private jest Jen found herself envious of Bruce. Sure, a life on the run has its own bundle of stressors, but when your skin can withstand cannon fire, what is there _really _to worry about? Certainly not dealing with lunatics and egotists all day, that's for sure. A lot of scenic walks in the wilderness too, probably, with all that free time. Sure, the mindless bouts of destructive rage were certainly a turn off, but at least Bruce didn't have to waste his time on reports, reviews, quotas and meetings so boring he'd feel like he'd age ten years if he wasn't empowered with Gamma rays. Jen dropped the last of the bundle she had been going through and leaned back into her chair. Stretching her arms over her head, Jen twisted her neck around before reaching up to undo the bun in her hair, letting her long, wavy hair unfurl down her shoulders.

"I need a vacation," Jen mumbled. "Someplace nice and sunny. With no paperwork except the credit bill after I'm done with the hotel room." Jen found her lips, having been frozen in a grimace nearly all day, thaw with the warmth of a girlish smile. "Delivered to me by a hunky bellboy, eager to get a tip..."

Sighing once more, Jen reached out to the supply of water on her desk. Not even bothering with a glass, she grabbed the chilled pitcher and began chugging down the chilled drink like an absurdly large mug. This grueling streak of work probably wouldn't have affected Jen as much as it had if she had been able to get laid. While almost never inheriting Bruce's infamous anger issues, as the She-Hulk Jen had her own sort of pent-up aggression, but had traditionally been able to keep them in check with a fulfilling side-hustle as a superhero, or a carefree casual love life. But, again, no one had been in need of much avenging lately, at least not in the more colorful or dramatic variety. And catching up with her legal workload severely narrowed her personal life, as well. Jen didn't even really need to stay green during these past few weeks. It had been more of a of habit, that being a six-and-a-half foot Gammazon would somehow make the workload easier. In actuality, it put Jen into a feedback loop: The longer she stayed green, the more restless and hornier she got. And not being able to smash, literally or figuratively, turned the alarm of her biological clock more like a blaring klaxon, heard by no one else but herself.

Jen exhaled aggressively as she pulled the pitcher away, the sloshing ice the last of its contents. The ice-cold water in her belly provided a brief respite for Jen, but not much. I could use a whole different kind of Gamecock in my life, she chuckled to herself. Jen hunched over her desk, her gorgeous face held up by her fingers up against her sharp chin. It should be a no-brainer for someone like She-Hulk, who can crack concrete with her thighs, to get a date, but would it be worth the tabloids that would follow of an Avenger and Fantastic Four ally getting her freak on? And getting a date as plain old Jen Walters, she didn't figure she had the effort, nor did she think she could take the blow to the ego. Her mind was hazy and in need of coffee, but Jen nonetheless was skimming through her head of an easy, no-strings one-night stand she could indulge in with no drama. But would that even be worth it? Would that even be what she needed?

Before she finally collapsed in her own exhaustive frustration, Jen's eye caught something in her work pile that she didn't see before, but for whatever reason now stuck out like a sore thumb.

"The hell? This person trying to be cute?" Jen remarked, pulling the bright green card envelope out of the pile. The address merely read GREEN IS THE WAY TO GO via a black stamp. On the other end, the envelope had a fancy wax seal, with a smirking grin set below a broad oval shape. It looked like a prop from a cheesy Bond movie.

"Figured I'd get junk mail in here. Eh, maybe whichever clown who sent this is actually as funny as they think they are. I could certainly use a joke, I wonder if I can sue the firm for letting this crap get in..."

Breaking the envelope's seal, Jen's face was hit with a puff of dust from inside. She quickly felt woozy, far more than she could bear. She took one last look at the card before her arms gave out and she passed out on her desk, falling into a deep sleep as her door came ajar.

***

Jen woke up with a sour taste in her dry mouth and her head feeling like it was stuffed with angry bees. The first thing her dull senses picked up was the reverberations, vaguely reminiscent of turbulence. She fluttered her eyes open, and the reds and greys that made up her vision came into focus as the interior of some sort of hangar. Jen felt her arms hoisted up above her head, but found them immobilized by the wrists when she tried to lower them. Her vision finally clear, she found another She-Hulk, this one red, in a similar arrangement as she was.

"B-Betty?" Jen called out, her throat feeling hoarse. "Where the hell are we? Can you hear me? Are you awake?"

Slowly raising her head and squinting her eyes open, Betty Ross looked around and quickly tried to break free of her bracers, finding that even with her inhuman strength, she couldn't break free.

"Jen?" Betty grumbled. "What...what the hell?"

"Ah finally awake, are we? Excellent, then we can discuss what I have planned for you."

Narrowing her eyes, Jen and Betty fumed and grit their teeth at the smirking face of the Leader, sitting across from them both with his legs crossed over a chair, his hand delicately holding a glass of wine and a newspaper folded in his lap. Obediently standing on both his sides were twisted and gruesome clones of Bruce, looking like cave men dressed up in unflattering jumpsuits.

"Hmm, She-Hulks wake," one growled.

"Gamma World time!" the other added.

"The hell do you want, you god damned sicko?!" Howled Betty, struggling against her bonds.

Unmoved, Leader took a steady sip before walking past his prisoners and looking outside a small window.

"Miss Ross, Miss Walters, can any of you fathom just how much time I have spent pursuing Doctor Banner? He can stand to be quite evasive, and to even contain him once procured is another matter entirely. In recent years, it can sometimes feel as though he has dropped off the face of the Earth."

The villain turned back around, throwing his gaze from Jen to Betty, all sporting a devilish smile that made Jen's blood boil. "You two, on the other hand, we're child's play to gather."

An intercom ahead announced that the plane they were on just passed the Caribbean waters before the Leader continued.

"What is this, Sterns?" Jen growled. "Payback for being your prosecutor. You were acquitted, dumbass. You were in the clear—up until you played this little stunt, that is."

"The cards delivered to the both of you was laced with a powerful tranquilizer," he continued, ignoring Jen. "Fatal for conventional human beings, but a mere scant hours for Gamma Mutates such as yourself. Honestly, I am kicking myself for how easy this all has turned out to be."

"Out with it, Sterns!" Betty said. Struggling against her bonds, she found them just as strong as she was, sapping her gamma fueled strength every time she resisted. Jen fared no better, struggling just as fiercely but barely making the metal creak.

"I wish to refine my work in creating the Hulk under a controlled environment, to usher in a new glorious age in this world. A GAMMA world. Over the years, I had foolishly thought the Hulk was the template, all the while, _you, _Miss Walters," he said, turning his attention to Jen. "By all accounts, are the perfect subject. You are not a to your neuroses, you enjoy your life uninhibited, and you are constantly compelled to..." he chuckled deep in his chest, pausing to finish his drink. "...propagate your genes."

"YOU LITTLE—!" The Leader's stooges watched silently at Jen struggling against her shackles.

"It is no use, Jennifer," Sterns gleamed. "Those manacles will keep you from ever using your irradiated gifts on this plane, where upon landing we will begin to lay the seeds for Gamma World. The harder you fight, the stronger they hold you in place."

"Good to know..."

With a deep inhale and a loosening of her nerves, Jen rapidly shrank into her normal dainty, pale self, slipping out of her confines. Betty was quick to do the same, and before the Leader's slow-witted goons could react, in an instant the two She-Hulks were back at their full strength.

"STOP THEM, YOU IDIOTS!" The Leader exclaimed. "BEFORE THEY—"

***

Jen blacked out once more. She woke up to the pleasantry of landing face-first into a stretch of beach hundreds of feet from the air. She dug herself out, sputtering and coughing out sand. Seeing Betty struggling similarly, she rushed out and pulled her out of the earth. The two watched the debris of the plane catch up with them in their plummet. Outstretched in front of them was endless ocean, and behind them was the thicket of untouched, uncivilized jungle.

"Well," Betty groaned. "This definitely threw a wrench into my weekend."

"I dunno," Jen chuckled, extending her arms and stretching the kinks out of her back and shoulders. "I was already thinking I was in need of a vacation..."