Pay No Attention To The Me Behind The Curtain

Back home, you aren't anyone special. The most important thing you ever did was exist, and you really weren't that good at it.

But here, you're a living god and thousands of people would practically jump in your pants...as long as they don't know that you're a fraud.

You know how this story starts. An ordinary person gets teleported to a place most people only dream of. A place where magic and fantasy are real.

And for the first ten minutes, a place where everyone wanted you very, very dead. Nothing personal, they just got freaked out by your blinking pocket gizmos and belief in a heliocentric solar system. But thanks to some fast talking and an astronomical amount of luck, you managed to convince everyone that you're an all-powerful, benevolent god who could carve the continent like a cake just by batting an eyelash. Now this world loves you so much they've torn down their own governments just to put you in charge of everything.

So you're in a place you don't understand, with a job you don't understand, and you only got that job because of an outrageous lie, and you're going to have to keep lying if you want to survive, and on top of it all you've somehow got to get laid during all this.

Good luck.

Before we get started: what gender are you? And what kind of plumbing meets your preference?