My Sister is Bigger (unironically)

I was born a few years before my little sister Sara. My mother explained to me that a new playmate was on the way, finally I'd have someone else to be with in our big empty home.

Someone to tell stories to, to go on adventures with, someone to teach all the just-new things I'd learned about the world, a new friend, a little brother or sister. My hopes were incredibly high.

But when she was born, I couldn't have been more disappointed, all she did was lie there and do next to nothing, she was a baby after all. My toddler brain couldn't really wrap itself around what that actually meant. The little bit I did understand was that she wasn't nearly as fun as I would have liked her to be. The way she seemed to apathetically stare at me, almost in a dismissive way. She never sucked her thumb or cried or had a gross amount of snot dripping down her face. No, she was as perfect as a little baby could be, and that bothered me more than anyone could imagine.

Bratty kid that I was, and jealous of her receiving all my mother's attention, I would occasionally try and get her riled up. I'd steal her toys from her, yell and try to scare her, and even attempt to hurt her by pinching her. But all this accomplished the same sort of nothing, she would just stare at me with her big blue eyes, like she was looking right past me.

There she'd be all prim and perfect in her sweet little crib, healthy waves of sunlight gently licking her brow, and two twinkling gems for eyes underneath. She just looked so perfect. Too perfect. As if she really did deserve all the attention she was getting. Not just cause she was a baby, but because she was something else. Something too good to be true. Some precious little treasure of a being more than deserving of everything I had ever taken for granted and more.

I never felt that way myself, not for one second of my life. I was always getting scrapes and bruises, always crying, always a clumsy dopey little kid. The love I got was pity, and hers was owed.
She'd been a saint from day one, and in the moment I saw it, I resented her. Not all at once, not enough to actually realize until much later. But deep down I did.