Hypnotized Plaything

My name is Alex Laroe, and for almost all my adult life I've suffered from frequent blackouts. I'll be doing one thing, and then wake up in the middle of something else, sometimes somewhere else, with no memory of the intervening time. Sometimes with a strange taste in my mouth, or a sore asshole. After a personal journey of years seeking medication, meditation and even hypnotherapy, I've begun to piece together the bare basics of why this has been happening to me.

My first ever blackout, and one of my longest, I lost a whole weekend when I was 21. This was the focus of my search for answers.

I'd bombed out of college with two bad semesters and just gotten a crummy retail job at an office supply store. Every day I dragged myself to work just to drag myself home and send off my resume for anywhere better. It was early December, crunch time for us to churn out limitless numbers of personalized holiday cards, and my folks decided to treat themselves to a weekend getaway as an early Christmas gift. That left me and my sister, Kendra, all alone and unsupervised. They left us five hundred bucks for emergencies, a fully stocked fridge and list of emergency numbers. They also stressed no parties, which wasn't a big deal for me, my few high school friends were long gone. Kendra had a tight-knit group of friends, but I didn't think they'd want a huge crowd.

I got off work around seven Friday and drove home, pulling into our driveway behind a familiar old blocky car, Kendra's friend Hannah's. Seems the gang was here. Kendra was still in high school, her senior year, and was close with three girls. Hannah was a total girljock the tallest of the bunch, she did track, wrestling, and cheerleading. Vanessa was semi-goth, semi-punk and super intense. April was the sweet girl-next-door, I used to have such a crush on her. Soft and small, with her hair, reddish or brown depending on the light, a standout from the dark brown and black of the rest.

I went in, knocked on the door to Kendra's loft and found them sitting around a game board, trivial pursuit, I think. I asked if they'd eaten, they hadn't, and if it was cool if I ordered pizza, which was. I ordered up, and had a quick shower and change before driving out to pick the pizzas up - no way I was paying for delivery from a place like a mile away.

All of this, I can clearly remember. Maybe not every little detail like what people were wearing (April was in a pink top with splatter pattern and a denim skirt, I still paid her extra attention) or what the board game was. It's after I carried the pizzas up to them that I blacked out for the first time. Here's what I recovered and what I think happened:

The girls were playing DDR, April was on the pad while Kendra was sitting cross-legged nearby. Hannah and Vanessa, the two scary ones, were on their feet and almost immediately flanked me, eager for food.

I assume I asked if it was cool if I ate with them instead of alone, I don't know. I assume this is where Vanessa brought up her new interest in hypnosis and I was bored or tired enough to go along with it. Maybe they made it a bet, DDR or wrestling Hannah or some other fool's errand. I'm sure I remember setting cross-legged on the wooden floor, looking down from Vanessa's intense gaze to a gently swinging pendant like a marble on a string, hearing her whisper, and then nothing but fragments and wisps of dreams.

I'm reasonably confident I was on all-fours, wearing a dog collar as I ate gummy bears held between somebody's toes, licking and sucking so hard to get each one free, and whenever I did, it was the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think I kow-towed to my sister while chanting something about her being the greatest, over and over.

I imagine I remember seeing Kendra and Vanessa whisper-argue in a corner while I was giving April piggy-back rides shirtless. I like to think my sister was saying things had gone too far and trying to reel it in. If so, it didn't work out because I think I remember seeing Vanessa swinging the pendant in front of Kendra's face, and I firmly remember looking up terrified at her grinning face as she knelt over my head, pinning my arms as I lay on my back and her friends were taking off my pants. April was on my legs and I was... wearing a ball-gag?

I wish it was so and hope it was, but I have these images of April and Vanessa each riding my cock, reverse cowgirl style. I don't remember anything of the sort with Kendra, but I'm afraid of what I'll find if I probe too deeply. I remember her laughing as I bounced up and down on a dildo stuck to the floor, hands cuffed behind my back, and loudly singing some super-girly pop song. Hannah had a camcorder, I assume for in case their hypnosis failed. Or maybe she wanted to save the memories for later.

Pretty sure at some point I was shaved all over my body, wearing whatever clothes in my sister's closet would look sort of like a maid's dress if you squinted. That I fetched drinks and snacks and cleaned the room while the girls laughed and slapped my ass and pinched my cheeks.

This is as much as I've been able to reconstruct of what I think was my first night as a hypnotized sex to my sister's deranged friends.

Unquestionably, this was a weekend that turned my life around. I started eating healthy, exercising and giving 100% at work at all times. I became a lot more social and outgoing. It's also around when some tics started that in hindsight I think were compulsions or rules, I can't go to bed until I've shaved my whole body - face, chest, back, limbs, pubes, the works. Hair is just so uncomfortable on my sheets or pjs. I also think I can't cum until I've made a women, or several, orgasm three times. It can be one, or scattered about, but just masturbating? Hasn't done it for me in years except occasionally, I think when I've fulfilled the requirement and earned myself an orgasm of my own. But it's not all bad! I really am fitter and happier, and I've never had a girlfriend - or one-night stand, for that matter - complain about my eager skills in licking pussy.

If only I didn't black out so often, or could remember more of what happened. Here's what I think was the next day--