Fantasy Life

One day, you're walking down the street when - BAM! A breezeblock falls down from the building site you're passing and whumps you on the head. Your head swims for a second or two, and then you get up and continue on your way. Before you can go too far a big-ass convertible starts kerb-crawling you. The woman behind the wheel is an absolute knock-out. Waist-length blonde hair, big boobs, blue eyes... she wolf-whistles you. You turn around, just to make sure she's not aiming for someone else, and she giggles.

"John, you silly! I'm looking at you!"

"Do I know you?" You ask.

"No. I'm Venus. You're pleased to meet me, most guys are, what with my being the goddess of love & sex and all."

Suavely, you reply: "hu-wuh-wuh-huh?"

"I hate to tell you this, but you're in a coma. That breezeblock caused some serious brain damage."

"But I feel..."

"Fine? Honey, no-one gets a twenty-kilo concrete block upside the head without a scratch on them. Look over there."

You follow the line along which she's pointing and you see your **** frame being loaded into an ambulance, surrounded by voyeuristic bystanders and disappointed ambulance-chasers.

"Worst part is, this was a mistake. For the first time ever, something's happened that wasn't fated to be. We don't know what to do. Dad's thrown a terrible tantrum."

"Dad?"

"Zeus, honey. Look, we figure that you need to be compensated for this un-fated happening. Why don't you take a ride with me?"