DC Comics - Shadow of the imp

Coming at them like sweeping, driving waves, rain battered the walls of Arkham Asylum in waves as bolts of lightening streaked across the night sky, lighting up the heavy clouds while the wind made the trees groan as they swayed back and forth.

Deep inside the bowels of the asylum, Batman had just emerged into a large chamber where the latest in a long and seemingly never-ending series of confrontations between him and his arch-enemy was about to take place.

Even by his standards, the Joker had outdone himself. The electric chair positioned in front of the screen showing off Barbara, Dick, Tim and Jason Todd captured and at his mercy.

“Welcome, Batman.” And finally, the Joker himself. His face cut-off by Dollman at his own initiative and now held in place with a belt strapped round his head. The 19 officers that he’d killed reclaiming it from police custody. Jim was still doing the rounds paying his respects and offering his condolences to the families.

“Joker… Even for you, this is insane.”

“Careful, Bats,” Even the Joker’s voice was worse than usual. Rather than shrill and gleeful, it was now guttural and harsh, “You don’t want to cause a in the family.”

“What is it that you want, Joker?” Batman could hear how tense he sounded, the note of barely contained anger that hinted at how far his adversary had pushed him, how his baser instincts were fighting to take over and let him beat the Joker into nothing more than a soft, bloodied pulp of battered flesh and broken bones.

“I want you to be the best possible version of yourself, Batman,” Behind the curtain of bleached, dried-out skin, Joker’s yellow eyes were alight with madness, “I want you to claim your throne.”

“Let me guess,” Steeling himself to control his rage, Batman didn’t move an inch, “That’s what it’ll take to save them.”

“Nothing can save them, Batman,” Joker insisted.

“Okay, guys, time the fuck out!” From seemingly out of nowhere, a third person cut in.

“What?” Joker wasn’t pleased at having his moment of glory interrupted.

“Who are you?” For his part, Batman was more puzzled by the newcomer than he was anything else. This was partly due to his sudden appearance, but mostly because his appearance was that of a three-foot tall man with a slight paunch, a thick beard and a somewhat receding hairline floating in mid-air surrounded by a purple haze. That he wore what looked like a child’s Ramones t-shirt along with his faded jeans and sneakers made Batman suspicious, though.

“Hi guys,” The stranger waved at them, “My name’s Ytirohthauzz, and I’m really freaking disappointed with the both of you. With this whole thing, really.”

“Disappointed?” Batman asked, as Joker remained silent.

“Duh, how would you feel after years and years of this grim-dark bullshit?” Pausing to give his eyes a theatrical roll, Ytirohthauzz continued, “All I want is something that’s fun and with a lot of action and sex appeal. And instead I get this: busty babes that are depressed, studly hunks who walk round like they’ve all got a stick up their ass and it’s giving them splinters, and some dork who cut off his own face because, well, because I guess he’s an idiot.”

“Hey! Watch it, squirt!”

“Shut up, idiot,” With a wave of his right hand, the little fellow made Joker fall silent. Or almost, at any rate, since he was suddenly making noises like he’d had a ball gag shoved down his throat.

“Mmngmngmg moug mflr!” Twitching with rage, Joker took a step forwards, only to fall forwards like a log and smack into the floor.

“Don’t worry, Batman, he’ll be fine!” Ytirohthauzz insisted.

“I’m not worried,” Batman replied, “Like I said, who are you?”

“Like I said, I’m Ytirohthauzz! Just a normal guy from the sixth dimension who really loves superheroes!” Ytirohthauzz’s face glowed with excitement.

“...And you’re disappointed?”

“Yeah, but I won’t be for long,” Ytirohthauzz smiled happily.

“Because?”

“Come on, Bruce, why should I tell you when it’s more to let you find out for yourself? Don’t worry though, no shark repellent spray this time around. Or Bat nipples!”

“I don’t know what you’re planning...”

---

Birds were sweeping gracefully against the backdrop of a nearly cloudless sky turned yellow and red by the setting sun and a gentle breeze stirred the trees as Batman walked into his master bedroom already halfway out of one of his many expensive, very tasteful black suits. The highlight of today’s board meeting had been a Doctor Harleen Quinzel presenting how new procedures developed by her team had allowed for the breakthrough in the treatment of a certain John Doe who’d suffered critical mental trauma after an industrial accident at a disused chemical plant. Happily, this advancement in the field of clinical psychology had been made possible through funding by Wayne Medical Tech.Stripping naked and tossing his clothes on the bed, Batman walked over to the huge fireplace that carried a passing resemblance to a Gothic cathedral and tapped three stones on top of it, making a panel next to it slide open. Closing the panel behind him, he savoured the rush of cool air coming up to meet him as he descended the stairs leading into the Batcave.

The first thing Batman headed for once he was in the cave was the array of screens set up in front of one swivel-chair and a vast panel of controls, switches and knobs. He could get dressed later, first he needed to update himself on what was going on.

As it turned, what was going on wasn’t much, not even after the better part of an hour’s worth spent looking for it. At least not the kind of goings-on that would concern Batman. Clock King was possibly trying to organize a crime spree aimed at antique clock stores and museums, but it’d probably be weeks of meticulous planning before he’d make a move. Kite Man and Killer Moth might be about to team up, but that would never work out. He’d give them two days before he’d have to step in to stop them from trying to kill each other. With the emphasis on ‘trying’.

With National Parents’ Day coming up next Sunday, Calendar Man might be planning something. And someone could always break out of Arkham.

Batman sighed, his guilty conscience telling him he should enjoy the calm while it lasted. But that wasn’t going to happen.

Maybe Jim had been kidnapped? Or the Bat-Signal sabotaged? He might as well run an off-site diagnostic to make sure it was up and running.

“Batman,” Just as Batman started tapping away to access his backdoor to the GCPD’s servers, a screen to his right flickered to life and showed an up-close image of a masked by very obviously beautiful young woman whose red hair were streaming in the air behind her. Along with the image came the sound of a motorcycle engine being pushed hard, and that of wind rush.

“Batgirl,” Batman nodded, happy that he’d made sure he would only be caught on camera from above the waist up and trying not to notice the stirring of his cock at Barbara’s appearance on the screen or the sound of her voice.

“Slow night?” Batgirl asked, over the sound of the engine screaming harder as she pushed the throttle.

“For one of us, anyway,” Turning his gaze back to the much bigger screen right in front of him, Batman tried to turn both of their attention towards the business of protecting Gotham. With no super-villains on the loose, this was a great time to go after the city’s organized crime element. Without any costumed thugs to call on for back-up, they’d be in for a hard time…

“Tell me about it, Batman, you haven’t even dressed!” But it seemed like Batgirl was letting the recent quiet period get to her.

“Did you call exclusively to tease me?” A slight shift of his tone should be enough to get Barbara fully focused on their work. It was subtle, but it had always done the trick in the past.

“Nah, just a social call,” Except it hadn’t for the last few weeks. Batgirl had always been talkative and lively, but she was really starting to answer back to him in a way that concerned him. She could still perform well enough to deal with the D-list trash that had showed up for summer, but if a real threat emerged, her deteriorating discipline could be potentially catastrophic.

“Nothing much going on in Gotham,” Batgirl went on, “I helped the GCPD with some bank robbers and dealt with some street crime, but that’s about it.”

“Where are you now?” Still focusing primarily on the other screen, Batman nevertheless noticed how the light on the one showing a close-up of Batgirl’s face was too faint to put her anywhere in downtown Gotham except for maybe Robinson Park.

“...Heading to the cave,” The diagnostic announcing that the Bat-Signal was functioning just fine meant that Batman missed the sheepish smile that crossed Batgirl’s face for a second or two.

“Then I’d better get dressed,” Another sign of Batgirl slipping was her coming round the Batcave every other night as if patrolling Gotham was boring her. The cave was hers to use, but not as a substitute for a sorority house.

“I guess...” There was very little enthusiasm in Batgirl’s voice right before Batman killed the feed and rose from his seat. He had to get her eyes back on the ball, he decided whilst absent-mindedly adjust his gait so as to let his balls dangle more freely between his legs and not so much behind as underneath his semi-erect cock. Organized crime it was then, precisely what was needed to get Barbara’s head where it belonged.

Stuffing himself into the lower half of his uniform and getting into his boots, Batman hurried back to the console from where he kept himself updated on what was happening in the world. He wanted to have a mission all set for when Batgirl arrived. That way, he could take charge right from the start.

The Gotham underworld consisted of several gangs divided on vaguely ethnic lines and styling themselves “families” too divided and evenly matched for any of them to really rise above the others. Great White and Black Mask, meanwhile, were currently weakened by the recent apprehension of the Penguin. So on the surface, things appeared relatively stable.

However, there was a pattern in which Frantisek Novy – head of the Bor Crime Family – was positioning himself and his underlings for something big. Slowly but surely, through a gaggle of cronies and false fronts, Novy was building up a powerbase by buying properties like clubs and bars. Meanwhile, Batman had picked up continuing chatter about Novy’s right-hand man Michal Jager having put together a crew that had pulled several bank jobs and other assorted heists over the last few months, with most of them happening in Burnley and Old Gotham.

This was all something that Batman should already have looked into, but he’d been too busy first chasing down the Penguin and then recuperating from his injury afterwards.

But tonight, things were going to start happening. In fact, considering that a van registered to one of Novy’s shell corporations had been picked up on a traffic camera feed not two blocks away from Jeweller’s Lane not forty-five minutes ago, they already were. And even more interesting, the homing beacon on Robin’s bike showed that it was currently located in an alley on Jeweller’s Lane, next to Feldman & Sons, the third-biggest jeweller in Gotham. So Dick was already in action…

“I’m here, Batman,” Batgirl announced from behind Bruce.

“Yes, I heard,” Time to get the night off on the right foot. To that end, Batman swivelled round in his seat and got to his feet.

Barbara had to stifle a lustful whimper at the sight of Bruce rising semi-dressed before her, especially those tight paints showing the outline of his thick, bulging cock. She’d always been aware of it, and had always had a bit of crush on Bruce, but things had changed dramatically a couple of weeks ago. After the Penguin had caught him unawares after they’d cornered him and shanked Batman in the thigh with – of course – an umbrella, she’d been the one to patch him up. Kneeling between his legs, her hands on his thighs, she’d started to feel things that were growing more intense with each passing day.

“Batgirl,” Projecting authority with natural ease, Batman didn’t look behind him as he reached out and pressed one tab on his keyboard to Feldman & Sons’ security cams and hooking into their feed, “This is what we’re doing tonight.”