Bake Sale

You wake up Sunday morning with a hell of a headache. The first weekend back from summer break is always a wild one, and every year seems worse than the last. Maybe you’re getting better at partying hard, or maybe you’re just getting old. Reluctantly, you try to pick yourself up off the grass. Grass? You roll over onto your back, and you see the sign: Delta Tau.

Even with to you greatly diminished mental capacity, this makes sense. Somehow, you clamber back to your feet. Every step pounds jolts your brain, and it’s a long way from frat row to the dorms.

On the way, you pass a supermarket. Despite the cacophony in your head, you get a bright idea. You barely manage to stumble through the automatic sliding doors. Minutes later, you emerge with an empty quart bottle in one hand, and a rattling bottle of pills in the other. Orange juice and aspirin, the breakfast of champions.

Now that you can think a little more clearly, you realize that the noise in your head wasn’t just in your head. As you cross the parking lot, you see tables set up, banners, flags… and a bevy of young ladies giggling, chattering, and squealing with laughter.

One of the girls waves to get your attention and heads towards you.