Adventures with Jo (Joe)

Joe, 24, and his wife Carol, 38, were heading to a Scottish fair. Carol’s daughters asked if they could come along to which Joe replied, “sure, as long as you dress the part.”

Joe was wearing a plaid Scottish kilt in blue and green, with a white top. His long hair was pulled into a low ponytail. Carol was similarly dressed, but in a skirt.

The girls, Kelly 19 and Diane 17, quickly ran to their room to change. They hated their stepdad Joe, but any chance to get out of the house was welcome.

Soon they were dressed like their mother, in blue/green plaid skirts and white tops.

They piled into the car and left for the fair. Over the next several hours however, Joe began to feel ill. Carol had some over the counter cold medicine in her purse which Joe gladly use. Unfortunately, he had also consumed several beers at the fair, so he became exceedingly drowsy. Carol decided she would be the one to drive home. Joe and the girls climbed into the back seat. Joe was asleep before they left the parking lot.

Immediately the two girls started messing with Joe. Kelly moves his ponytail to the top of his head, just like the other females in the car, and Diane lightly brushed blush across his cheeks. This wasn’t the first time they tried embarrassing Joe. Any opportunity was jumped on. Especially if he grounded them, which was often. They laughed at their handy work.

“Girls,” Carol said, knowing that laughter of theirs, “I’ve asked you not to do that!” As she tried to stifle her own giggle.

“Sorry mom,” they said almost in unison.

A short while later, flashing lights appeared in the rear view mirror and a police car pulled into view.

Carol slowly pulled the car over and waited for the officer.

“Do you know why I pulled you over, Ma’am?” the officer asked as he approached the window.

“No, I have no idea Sir,” Carol replied.

“Tail light is out. I’m going to give you a warning, but get it fixed. Can I get your retinal scan?”

“Oh dear,” Carol said. “We haven’t had ours done yet.”

“Well,” said the officer, “the new law doesn’t go into affect until the end of the month. But since I’ve got you here, I’ll just do the scans now and enter your info into the system. This way no one as to miss work or school.”

“Thank you so much officer,” Carol said with a slight smile. “It’s so hard taking the girls out of school for something so trivial.”

“This isn’t trivial Ma’am. This is very important to the government. Now, if you’ll just look into the machine, it will scan your retina and I’ll enter your information.”

Carol placed her face against the lines of the machine and waited for it to beep.

Then she relayed her info to the officer.

“Okay, now for those in the back. I’ll do the retina scans first, then I’ll enter everyone’s info.”

The girls went first. But instead of waking Joe, the officer simply opened Joe’s eyes and held the machine close until it beeped.

“Alright, Thats everyone.” He then turned to Carol. “It’ll save time if you just give me their names and info.”

These are my daughters, their last name is Parks, as they still live part time with their father. Kelly 19, Diane 17, the youngest and Joe 30,” she started saying as Diane interrupted.

“I’m 18 mom!”

The officer input the information into his little computer.

Kelly Parks 19, F

Diane Parks 18, F

Jo Parks 17, F

“Okay ladies, your information has been entered into the system so you are all official now. No need to carry any IDs because the government has been installing sensors all over the country during the last 6 months. This will automatically update so no need to contact anyone. In fact, there technically isn’t anyone TO contact,” he added with a laugh. “Drive save Ma’am and get these girls home.”

Carol thanked the officer and drove everyone home.

Meanwhile, deep within a windowless government building, computers hummed softly, processing the new information about Carol and her 3 daughters.

Finding no record of a Jo Parks, 17 F, the computer used Carol’s 2 daughters as a template to map out Jo’s past. Soon Joe was enrolled in high school and subsequently marked as truant, since “Jo” never attended school.

The legal system was also notified that Carol’s ex-husband owed considerable back child support for her third daughter, which was immediately withdrawn from his considerable accounts and deposited into hers.

The following morning there was a knock at the front door, which Joe answered, wearing only sweatpants and a loose t shirt.

2 police men and a woman wearing a suit were standing there.

“Can I help you?”, Joe asked.

One of the police men spoke to him while the other 2 walked past him and into the house.

Just then, Carol walked around the corner. “Who is it Joe?”

Before he could reply, one of the police asked, “Are you Carol?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“We need to discuss your youngest daughter. Is there some place we can talk privately?”

“Of course! Please follow me into the kitchen.”

Joe made his way to follow when the woman said to him, “Not you honey.”

Joe assumed, incorrectly of course, that since he was only the step father they simply wanted to speak with their mother.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, the officers explained the situation to Carol.

“So basically Ma’am, your youngest daughter has been skipping school for quite some time. If she isn’t in class tomorrow morning, she will be arrested as a truant and you’ll be charged with child neglect.”

“I honestly had no idea that Diane was skipping school!”

“Ma’am, we were referring to your youngest daughter, Jo.”

“My WHAT?” Carol replied in shock. “I don’t have a,” immediately she was cut off by one of the officers.

He held up the retina scanner. “Would you please verify your ID.”

Carol placed her eye against the scanner. The machine beeped and the officer read the information aloud.

“Carol Jones, 38, F. Okay, now for everyone else in the home please.”

The woman escorted Joe and the 2 girls, who had just gotten home, into the kitchen.

The office looked at them. “Please verify your IDs with the scanner.”

Kelly went first, followed by Diane. And again the officer read the information.

“Kelly Parks, 19, F. Diane Parks, 18, F.” He then looked at Joe.

“Your turn,” he said sternly.

Joe placed his face against the scanner and waited for the beep.

“Jo Parks, 17, F” the officer replied as he read the info from the machine. He then looked at the woman. “Please escort the girls to the other room while we talk to their mother.”

The 2 girls start laughing. “Come on, little sisters,” Kelly said as she followed the woman out of the kitchen.

Joe started to protest, but the woman pushed all 3 of them into the living room.

Once they were out of earshot the officers turned towards Carol.

“By court order, you are hereby instructed that all 3 of your daughters will be in school tomorrow morning, or they will be placed with Child Services, you will lose all right to see them and you will be arrested, charged with child neglect.”

“But Joe isn’t my daughter! He’s my husband! Carol said in disbelief.

“Our records indicate that Jo is your youngest daughter. The system isn’t wrong. I’m not sure what twisted relationship you have with your children Ma’am, but if you insist, we will be to remove your children.”

The other officer checked the machine. “Now, shall I enter what you just said, or will you comply.”

Carol, shocked and in disbelief, shook her head. “I’ll comply, officers.”

“Very well. We will be checking up on you continually. Make sure they are ALL in school tomorrow.”

Everyone walked into the living room.

“They are going to comply, so we can leave,” one officer said.

The 3 officials left as Carol turned to face her daughters and husband.

She explained the situation to all of them. Joe stood there, mouth open, as Kelly and Diane laughed uncontrollably.

“So, GIRLS,” Carol said, “we have to comply with the law until we can straighten this all out tomorrow. I’m sorry Joe. You’ll have to show up at school with the girls.”

“You’re gonna look so cute in the school uniform, JO!” Kelly said.