vs. Ladle Girl

Want to know what the arena is like? Imagine if the Coloseum of Rome and Buckingham Palace had a baby. The Rasheul Tournament Arena would be that baby!

Just a huge open pit full of sand... But the nice kind of sand. I don't know what exactly makes it fancy, if they made it out of gold or something, but damn! You haven't touched sand unless it's the sand spread across the area where people brutally bludgeon each other in front of thousands of spectators.
And lots of smoke there too! The moment I teleported into the arena I couldn't see anything but thick plumes of smoke in every direction! Nothing dangerous or anything, no. It's just there for a dramatic effect for when we're introduced. Also, just in case anyone tries to sneak a hit in before the fight starts.

"Ladies and gentlemen..." Ben the announcer yelled, his voice magically enhanced to reach the furthest stretches of the arena, "The third match of the C-Bracket... Our daring Ladle Girl...!"
The smoke on the far side of the arena settled , and my opponent emerged. Everything you could ask for in an apron girl was embodied in this woman! Pale skin, brown hair tied in a handkerchief, long olive green dress with an earth-coloured apron... Heck, the first thing she did when entering the arena was curtsying before the roaring audience! Really, I wonder why I even bothered with a description when just saying 'ladle girl' clearly would've sufficed!
And obviously she held a wooden ladle in her hands. Not a particularly big one. I mean, it wasn't tiny. Not for a ladle. But in a world where the average sword is the size of a motorcycle, you kind of come to expect a lot more if you insist on using a friggin ladle as your weapon.

"...Versus the elusive Genius Inventor Allison!"
The smoke settled on my end, and the audience found themselves gawking at the girl with a giant bazooka on her shoulder.

I should probably clarify that they weren't gawking at me cause I was carrying a bazooka, though granted it was a cool bazooka. But the reason they stared was simply because the one carrying the bazooka was a five year old child!
Yup. My rejuvenation pill worked like magic... Though while in this world I should clarify that it's not literally so.

Now who is the underdog? Against a small child, even a ladle could be devastating! Noone out-underdogs Allison!

The size of a gremlin with a large weapon pipe of a particularly intimidating shade of green nearly twice as long as I am tall hoisted across my shoulder, I strutted towards my opponent with a confident smirk, clad in a white T-shirt so oversized that for me it really acted more like a dress.
The pants I wore? They had to go! I could probably fit into one of the legs of my old jeans as I am now, but then I couldn't carry my bazooka.
Now, you might be wondering if the mobile artillery piece wasn't a tad bit too heavy for a small girl to carry around? Well, maybe that's true for your bazooka, but I made mine specifically for situations like these! Light and durable, and simple to use!
So simple even a five-year old could use it!

And that's what being a mad scientist is all about!

"FIGHT! "

She ran towards me as fast as she could, ladle raised over her head in a full attack. But it was no use. I had already aimed the modern cannon at my target, and my teeny tiny finger squeezed the trigger.
A propelled grenade launched towards the target with blinding speed.
Was my aim perfect?
Was my opponent dodging?

Maybe. But that doesn't matter if your weapon can destroy a tank in one go!
A huge fiery blast erupted at the site of impact, launching Ladle Girl, and the girl's ladle, high into the air. She crashed head-first on the ground about fifteen feet from where the explosion tossed her, twitching in agony.
And then the ladle fell on her head.

Again and again and again I fired at her trembling body. Very soon the arena turned into a hellscape full of smoke and fire.
Now, you're probably thinking that a bazooka can't fire consecutively like this, and needs two people to fire and reload. Well, that may be true for your bazooka! But I made mine specifically with a setting for repeating fire, just in case I ran into a girl with a ladle! That's sort of the deal with being a mad scientist: you get to configure your own equipment so it suits you!
After the smoke subsided, nothing but black ash remained inside the apron dress, and sticking out half buried in the pile of ash was, you guessed it, the ladle!

"Allison has successfully vanquished the Ladle Girl! She is victorious!" Ben's voice reverberated throughout the arena, followed by roaring applause from the audience, "What a resplendent display from our younger-than-expected challenger! It just goes to show that all good things come in small packages!"

In a flash of light, the smoldering remains of the ladle girl rose up like coiling snakes, gathering into a single point where they reassembled, morphing into the ladle girl, who looked around confounded.

"Stick around people for the next exciting fight that no doubt will be just as thrilling as this one! Coming up! Right after I talked to our lawyers about how effed we are for letting a child into the **** arena. Stay tuned! The 129th Rasheul **** Tournament has only just begun!"

The next thing I knew, I was teleported away from the arena.
Where to?
Well, nowhere interesting, actually. Just some nerd going over the paperwork of having demolished another person, only for that person to be miraculously revived again moments later.
You'd be surprised how much paperwork comes with that sort of thing!
Now, I gotta say, that neat-freak at the desk was quite the condescending jerk. I've got no idea if it comes with the job, or if it was cause he thought he was talking to a kid, but really, he should watch his manners when talking to a gal with a piece of artillery strapped to her.
But at least I got confirmed that my prize money of 400 gold had been transferred to my tournament account. How sweet is that? I mean, I don't really need the currency of this world, but I suppose I can make quite an impact with it.

But now you're probably wondering, do I regret at all going all out against a girl who attacked me with a ladle?
Hell no!
You have to remember that your own freedom is at stake here! That girl could've easily ended up as the trophy **** to any one of these bitches and bitchmaesters participating in this Tournament. And I just relieved her of that opportunity! That girl had nothing to do in a tournament like this, and I just saved her from a world of pain.

Of course, in any other circumstances, turning yourself into a child for the purposes of a fight to **** would be unadvisable to say the least. But that's until you add weapons into the calculation. Really, all in all, a human on its own is not an impressive specimen. We've got no claws, or fangs, or wings, and we only use 50% of our limbs for ambulation. What makes us such a successful species is our tools and weapons. With a gun, even a child can become a **** to be reckoned with. After all, if you die from a bullet, it won't matter if the one who shot you was the strongest man in the world, or a seemingly harmless toddler.
It's our greatest strength as a species. And it's also the great equalizer.
The point is, as long as I've got my weapon in hand, it won't matter if I'm in my strong, sexy adult form, or my adorable kid form. The difference is that as a kid, I could fit both myself and my cannon in the booth! If I can't fit it, I can't bring it.

Well, well... It looks like good old Allison will proceed to the next stage of the tournament after all! From here on out it's gonna be tougher: any remaining Ladle Girl will already have seeded out by the more powerful contestants. Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if evey new battle wrought ever more trying challenges each time. Who knows what lies ahead?
All I can say for certain is that I really need to find out where Ladle Girl got her dress! Cause that's hella durable stuff!