Chapter 3
by 
Gambio
What's next?
there's still more: the wall of shame
Welcome to the wall of shame. After over a hundred stories featured, some are in need of special scrutiny. This chapter shall henceforth serve that purpose.
Shortest chapters ranking
This is a list of the top ten shortest chapter's Marcie and Gina had the misfortune of reading. Or since everything sucks here, maybe that's a good thing?
Each author can only be featured once, because I mean come on were would be the fun of having the list be dominated by a single author otherwise? We also do not obvious count joke chapters because where's the fun in that? But don't worry, these are certainly comical enough.
This list will be periodically updated(maybe?)
If we would count shortest chapter titles Nathanial Keam and his 88 word strong three paragraph banger would come out on top. Unfortunately we don't, as such this is only short enough for the very bottom of the list.
Katie’s mouth gaped open. The stylish teen had now been stripped down to a matching pair of powder blue bra and panties by the kid she was supposed to be babysitting.
She wondered whether to cry, but she was frozen in shock. Here she was, sitting on the ground in her socks and underwear, having been embarrassed multiple times in less than an hour.
Her mind raced. She had to think of a new plan. She had to try a different approach, or… she wouldn’t think about that.
9) Lets taunt the creeps a little, by johnsmithhhhh37
Number nine used to be number six once. It's also the reason this list even exists is...I don't even want to write that username out again. Anyways, 80 words!
Something about the feeling of 50 horny pairs of eyes on her ass, coupled with the thrill of this high stakes erotic contest, made Felicia a little light headed. She decided to make good on her earlier threat and tease the bros a bit.
After about 10 seconds she stopped and pretended to re-tie her shoes, not hurrying and making sure to wiggle her ass seductively. The bros roared their approval, and their mingled testosterone hit her like a wave.
Oh unkown, OH UNKOWN! Of course she couldn't miss out to get an entry! With 65 words, she brings us this awesome intro chapter.
You are in your room in the human world. On CHYOA, you find a story titled Dark Lord. You click on it and suddenly find yourself transported to the fantasy world of Arizelle. No, I mean literally, you are physically transported to that world.
Now unlike most trapped in another world stories, your objective is to become the new Dark Lord and conquer this world.
7) Alvoss offers to help look, by LaudnaWrites
Turning 60 words into four paragraphs is a skill on it's own, which this author perfected.
"Do you think I should cover up?" She asked, deciding to tease the poor boy.
"Oh! I mean- if you want- I don't- you can wear whatever- I'm not- I just thought-" He stammered adorably.
Lilith giggled, "That would be lovely, thank you Alvoss." She answered with a smile, he smiled back.
"I'll see what we have in the luggage."
6) Anatomy Lesson: an ENM story, by JohnJacobs
It takes a special kind of author to make a chapter dedicated entirely to an author's note. This one does it and gets away with 60 words. Same as last entry, but this one has fewer letters.
Author’s note: This is a story I wrote almost entirely in one sitting in August of 2020, over the course of a very long car ride. I’m posting it more or less unchanged in a handful of large chunks.
It’s possible there will be a few typos but I’ll try my best to keep it looking nice.
Hope you enjoy!
5) https://professionalchanges56sufd63gfy53dfjkozthaxl498466gfeqb674gf.onion, by Mrwhysper
This horrific abomination of a title gives us the number five spot in our list with 59 words. You probably don't want to click on it
You’ve come to this page only if you’re looking for something very specific. Leave an e-mail address and you will be contacted with further details on how to proceed. If you have reached this site in error, then it is most likely a hoax. Go back to looking for mystery boxes or other things you can buy for BitCoin.
4) Liquid Latex, by google2020
If we would allow multiple entries per author, google2020 would dominate almost the entire bottom part of this list. Alas 48 words are only good enough for fourth place
Maddie grabs the note until, the liquid came alive and began to crawl up her arm.
“Ahhhh!!” she said as she tried to struggle against it.
“Oh god this feels so weird and at the same time... good, wait no I can’t!!!” she thinks as she managed to...
3) You move on to the next question, by outa
There's actually a history behind this on. This author was already on our list but has managed to write an even shorter chapter since and now has the questionable honor of rising up in the ranks, going from fourth to third with the following 41 words "long" chapter.
You're now confident that there are no right answers and the test is just screwing with you. Still that last scene actually turned you on a little bit. You convince yourself that you'd really be Lucard.
The next question is on...
2) Doki Doki Literature Club, by TFWNGiantGF
This entry shares the same story with the number three entry, but these are two different authors...or so they want to make us believe. Anyways, with 37 words we are getting to the point were these snippets are longer then the actual chapter.
The visual novel about sharing poetry, fun club activities, dark emotional secrets, psychological horror, the fourth wall, and love!
Which one of the Dokis is going to have a little world of her own to start off?
1) End of Match 2, by unknown 156
And the reigning undisputed champion of this list is unknown 156 with a grand total word count of 4 (counting numbers) and 19 characters(including spaces) this masterpiece even beats our shortest joke chapters!
Match 2 had ended.
Dishonorable mentions
These chapters used to be part of the shortest chapters ever list before we decided that counting joke chapters was moronic. We feel bad to just exclude them though, so here they still are:
3) She chokes on some food and dies, by Questathana
The bronze medal goes out to Questathana, who has the questionable honor of having a chapter who's title is longer then the actual content. You can count the words yourself now.
Press F to pay respects.
Silver goes to sumedokin who made a valiant attempt of dethroning our reigning champion. He matched in word count, but unfortunately fell slightly short when it came to characters."
"...I peed a little."
Gina’s dickhole protagonist ranking(male only)
This is not a ranking of the stories, let’s face it they all suck.(except To feel power which is the greatest thing ever written)
If your story isn’t on this list your protagonist is either boring as fuck or a girl. Congratulations.
barely making the cut
33) Michael(Michael Clark, a 41 year old owner of a struggling firm)
32) John Anderson (Brothers ****)
31) Sato (The Teachings of Ty Lee)
30)Shirou (Rider (Medusa) - Finished Route)
29) Matt Cole (Cunning Linguist)
28)Orok(Orc’s harem)
27) Nick (Nick Reynolds, a 27 year old author seeing a therapist)
26)Caleb(I reincarnated as a Homunculus in a steampunk world with famous 19th century characters but everyone is gender-swapped)
25)Arthur (Naive and Erotic Roommates)
small time crooks
24) Dave Harris (Strange Magic)
23)John (Would you rather)
22) The professional (It’s A Living)
21)Finn («✵｢Lustyre｣✵»)
20)Travis (Travis Salliv, a Rogue)
19) Steven
18)Jack (To Feel Power)
17)sissy fuck (You want to **** her in a brutal way)
16)Michael (The Crusader)
Colossal douchebags
15)Metsu (The training of my sensei- Ino Yamanaka)
14)Dan (Exhibitionism)
13)Felix (The World as Myth)
12)Fred (Dark Lord)
11)Michael (Pheromones)
10)Bringer of light (Bringer of light)
9)Edward (King Edward)
Complete irredeemable trash that needs to be put down immediately
8)Arthur (Advanced Fantasy)
7) Asmodeus (Devil’s Throne)
6)Jack (The Submission Accelerator)
5)Doom (Something They Will All Regret)
4)William (A Study on the Laws of Coincidence)
3)Aiden (Contagion 63X - Viral Transformation)
2) David (You wake up, ready for more brutal throatfucks(plot))
1)Tom (Tom wants to rule the world)
top 10 most featured authors:
You would think one time would be enough, but these dweebs are especially masochistic.(does not count masochist mode reviews)
unknown7(alts included): 11
Zeebop: 10
TheLeherengin: 8
google2020: 7
sumedokin: 6
Hvast: 5
JerkGently: 5
RejectTed: 5
wrynn: 5
Almax: 4
most despised authors:
These authors have for some reason or another especially drawn the ire of Marcie or Gina.
Marcie:
Marcie's comment: A hack and fraud that thinks himself clever but who's pun game is only second rate, as indicated by his user name. (Why is there a second t there? This completely ruins the pun!) He constantly tries to get a rise out of me with unsubstantiated and slanderous libel, but unfortunately for him I do simply not care about the opinion of such a third rate author.(Also I am NOT a dork for knowing the most basic of literature concept, thank you very much!)
Gina:
Gina's comment: FUCK YOU, SARCKLE!
Gina's comment: The ultimate virgin loser nerd. I need to wedgie her at least once a week or I get withdrawal symptoms.
Gina's comment: Lazy fucker. Where's my sex with Jenny!
Gina's comment: Dickgirl guy!
Gina's comment: I don't like his mustache.
Gina's comment: Constantly forces us to read his shitty, sexless stories. Also Allison.
Gina's comment: Dickgirls!
Gina's comment: Created Tom
Gina's comment: I'm getting a headache just trying to read one of her so called "stories"!
Lonylez
Gina's comment: Has deleted her account but will never delete my wrath for writing ANOTHER DICKGIRL STORY!
Gina's comment: *loudscreeching*
Gina's comment: Despite a story called monster girl harem, does not have a single shark girl in it!
Gina's comment: Pretentious twat
Gina's comment: What the fuck!
Gina's comment: Marcie really likes him, but he sucks!
Gina's comment: The sissy story! Read! Update! Want! ugh! gah!
Gina's comment: Made both me and Marcie cum at the same time, WHICH I HATED!
Gina's comment: Has a sharkgirl but doesn't do anything with it!
Gina's comment: The fuck kinda username is that?
Gina's comment: The fuck kinda username is that!
Gina's comment: THE FUCK KINDA USERNAME IS THAT?
Gina's comment: Weirdo with a cow fetish
Gina's comment: Mimiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!
Gina's comment: I don't know why but I feel an unbridled rage
Gina's comment: Animal murdering fuck
Rina:
Rina's comment: Gives **** a bad name
Terrible titles
Titles are important,so you would think authors would think more then five seconds before coming up with them. Unfortunately, these chumps didn't.
8) I'm in a story??, by blank97
This one doesn't appear that terrible until you take a closer look. Not only is it a question but it also as two question marks accompanying it. Very annoying.
7) Tower of Voices, by TheLeherengin
I know I said five seconds but this is being generous for this utterly boring title. At least engin managed to resist the urge to put a The in front-this time
6) Sarckle's Spooktacular: Monsters in the Park,by Sarckle
Putting your own name in the title is already pretentious enough, but then you throw away the perfect chance to call it Terror in the Suburbs. For shame, Sarckle. Also obligatory FUCK YOU, SARCKLE!
5) Lustful Valhalla, by RejecTed
If there is one thing Ted is known for it's bondage. But if he is known for anything else it is absolutely boring titles. And this one is the worst of the bunch. (according to Marcie's unbiased opinion)
4) Countess Zoe of the County of Undrek (updated 5/9/20), by fyreant
If you want to stop your readers dead in their tracks, a notification of the last update is a very good way of doing that. Especially if that last update was over four years ago.
3) On Christmas Eve at Santa's workshop., by sumedokin
I'm sure there are some people that are into Santa porn. For the non serial killers among us, however, this does not bring cheer
2) I reincarnated as a Homunculus in a steampunk world with famous 19th century characters but everyone is gender-swapped, by Alibara
Do I even have to explain this one? This blurb is shorter then the title!
1) Steven [M, 21]- Supreme Master- Day: Zero- Skin contact- POV 1- ?- A sketchy ritual gone awry., by wrynn
I severely doubt there will ever be a worse title then whatever the hell this is. But I was surprised before
Most horrifying writing
Sometimes you come across a line or paragraph so grotesque it will cause H.P Lovecraft and H.R Giger to quiver in fear. Readers discretion is most severely advised with this next segment.
5)From Lord of Chaos, by google2020
Meanwhile Krumble was in the sand box with no pants on with a bunch of tired kids on the ground exhausted from the brutal ass fuck he gave them.
4)From Dark Lord, by unknown7
Fred looked at the chastity device to find it covered in faces.
3) From Questathana's "Sophia Underwood (Aspiring Chef)"
2) From Aroband's Contagion 63X - Viral Transformation
Aiden mentally activated the virus filled balloon and stepped back to watch. Instantly, the inflated woman's remaining flesh liquefied, releasing its hold on the gallons of cum inside. The woman exploded, releasing a wave of cum that covered all the girls in the room, covering them from head to toe in infectious liquid.
1) From Walrusdick's "Cunning Linguist"
I started to melt under their menstruation
Biggest number at the end of their username:
Everybody agrees that putting a number behind your username is pretty cringe, which is why a surprising amount of authors do just that. Here is the cringiest of them:
1) elmer7780
What's next?
- No further chapters
- Add a new chapter
