Pretend to agree

A cum battle?

Seriously, Sylphid come’s up with the most insane ideas.

And one look at that dopey overeager smile makes it perfectly clear that she will not accept no for an answer. No way around it, I will have to do this.

This means abandoning the dropping out plan but there is no point in clinging to something that is impossible in the first place.

But well.

This is also an opportunity

For now I just go along with that ludicrous plan of hers. And then, in the actual battle, when she’s least expecting it I whip out a dirk and finish her off.

I took a deep breath, making a point of showing my **** to this. “Alright, fine, you get your...uh...”

“Cum-battle.”

“That.”

“Alright!” Sylphid pumped her fist. “Wohoo! This is going to be so amazing! I am soooo pumped right now!

She looked very excited about it.

He he he…

Sorry, Sylphid. Don’t judge me too harshly for this. We are way past the point where I can afford to play fair. The continent is a harsh and cruel place and the sooner you learn that the better.

“So!”, Sylphid giddily chirped. “I take it you want to know specifics?”

I nodded. Might as well clarify the rules and use this to my advantage.

“Allow me to explain that!” As if he just waited for his cue, Ben came skipping into the training hall. This time he opted for an elegant yellow sundress and a matching parasol. I swear, this guy is probably the evil mastermind behind everything.

Sylphid, evidently noticing my confused face elaborated. “Oh, I just asked him to make this whole cum battle thing offi, you know?”

“O-offi?”

“Juuuust to make sure you wouldn’t do something cute, like ignore our house rules and try to kill me mid match. Not that I think you would be dumb enough to try that.” She grinned at me. “Cause if you do I would have to punish you.❤ “

Eep.

“Besides”, Sylphid hugged Ben. “Have you ever seen a more adorable sugar muffin? I mean don't get me wrong, Mari. You look amazing in a dress but Ben was BORN to wear one.”

Ben giggled coquettishly. “Aww, thanks!”

Sylphid put an arm around Ben. “Hey, how about you ditch this whole announcer business and hook up with me instead? I will treat you how a man deserves to be treated!”

Ben had the audacity to blush. “Umm...I'm very sorry but I'm not into girls.”

“What! Get outta here!”

This was thankfully when Valkyrie coughed. “Might we get back to matters at hand? It would be rude to waste Mari's evening with idle chatter.”

“Oh, of course!”, Ben nodded eagerly. “The Tournament Association actually tried cum battles back for the 69th Tournament but it never really caught on. Worries about children watching and all that, you know? But if the combatants voluntarily opted for it, we can use a legal loophole to get around that.”

“I like holes”, Sylphid uselessly added.

“Oh, and this is totally not investment advice, but if somebody would buy some **** tournament shares tonight I wager that somebody would make quite a tidy profit. That certain someone just needs to make sure he doesn’t get caught for insider trading.” Ben winked at me

“The rules please, Ben.” I was feeling a headache coming.

“Right away! So! It's actually very simple:”

How is that simple!

“What counts as evading?”, I asked, headache now in full effect.

Ben happily elaborated. “Well, basically running away and such. Oh, but don’t worry! It’s not game over right away. I will simply give you a penalty.”

Right, what the hell is that about?

“Basically, I can hit you with a paralysis spell, allowing your opponent to have their way with your sexy body. First infraction gives you a 30 second penalty”, the bubbly referee explained. “Second one is five minutes and third a whooping hour. This applies to all other infractions like non erotic **** or restraining too, so play nice or you get zapped!”

Lovely.

“And what exactly counts as non erotic ****?”

“Well, you know. **** that isn’t sexy.”

Geez thanks for clearing that up, Sylphid!

“Don’t worry”, Ben interjected. “A bit of **** is fine, as long is it’s sexy. I will determine if it is or not.”

To sum it up, this is a bunch of vague bullshit which Ben will enforce according to his whims. Great. Fantastic.

Valkyrie cleared her throat. “I have to admit, I have trouble to truly grasp this...battle of cumming. Perhaps, in the spirit of fairness, a trial run would be appreciated?”

“Uuuuuuh! I love the way you think, Valk!” Sylphid was of course all to eager. “Just so Handsome gets a better grasp of the rules, of course. Yeah, fair is fair. Hmm and to make it more interesting…. Loser has to obey the winner for the rest of the evening?”

This girl was just insatiable.

“There will be no strings attached”, Valkyrie declared sternly. “This will be nothing more then a fair and clean match between two martial artists. What do you say, Mari?”

Nothing about this is fair and clean.

But Valkyrie had a point. A trial run might admittedly not be that bad of an idea. I certainly need all the experience I could get.

On the other hand, do I really want to shatter my confidence before the match?