no chest left behind

“Mwah…”

The wet sound of kissing lips and moaning permeated the room.

Perhaps I need to explain.

While Sylphid claimed they had already found the stairs, so did we. Since our hole was closer, we decided to move there first.

Of course that means going through the room with the chest we skipped. Personally, I just wanted to move on already but Sylphid argued there could be a returnwood in there, which was a good point.

Thus, the eager adventurer climbed up on the platform together with Lucky and had the Balance Breaker attempt to open the treasure chest.

However, the cage hidden in the ceiling was not linked to the treasure chest itself but a pressure plate surrounding it, meaning it dropped a lot earlier then expected.

This is Sylphid we are talking about, so she still had ample time to grab Lucky and escape but that meant abandoning the treasure chest.

And these two are insane.

Thus both Sylphid and Lucky happily ended up trapped.

“It’s fiiiiine”, Sylphid said laughing. “There’s usually a way out of these.”

Sure enough, once they opened the chest a familiar black smoke escaped(we get to that) and Lucky retrieved a letter.

MAKE OUT TO GET OUT

Naturally the direction from here was about as expected.

“H-How scandalous!”, Sanakia blushed as she stared up to the pedestal cage were the two girls gave their show. “My Lady, you must avert your eyes!”

…

All in all this was fairly tame. It really was little more then kissing with a bit of petting.

So why was this making me all hot and bothered?

I tried looking away but unfortunately with my senses heightened as they were that only made it worse.

All in all this whole scene went only on for about five minutes before the gate pulled itself back upwards and the girls were freed.

“Aww. Already done?”, a grinning Sylphid grabbed Lucky and jumped down from the platform. “I was kinda hoping it **** all the people in the room to join in.”

“Don’t joke about it…”, I mumbled.

Sylphid continued to grin. “So, what did we get?”

Buff Spell: Double Treasure rate!

Yes, another one of these.

“Woah! Niiiiiiice!”, Sylphid laughed as she rolled around with Lucky. “Correct me if my math’s wrong but are we now at a 32x treasure rate?”

“H-how often does such a thing occur?”, Sanakia asked, quite flabbergasted herself.

“Basically never”, Sylphid confirmed. “Getting double treasure even once is a pretty lucky break for any adventurer. Two is a once in a lifetime event. A guy told me in a bar once, he knows a guy who knows a guy who got up to three but he might have been screwing with me. Actually he did screw me! Anyways, the chances of five are...”

“0.00001% Or one in ten million!”, Lucky happily pointed out. “So, it’s not THAT rare.”

How the fuck is that not that rare and how the hell do you even know this?

“But, man we should really have Handsome open up the chests from now on”, Sylphid smiled and fondled my own chest for emphasis. “Otherwise this big bouncy buff will go to waste.”

“S-stop this already”, I gasped. Their show already made me horny like crazy, but I knew in reality it was just this Kyan Kyan suit. ”My brea...chest...isn’t just there to be...grabbed.”

“Are you alright, Handsome?”, Sylphid grinned at me, but obeyed for now. “You seem a bit...flustered.”

Of course I was!

Not only did I have to deal with the effects of this costume, I was also in touching distance of two very attractive and very under-dressed girls near constantly.

On top of that, this new body of mine was all kinds of weird and I was barely able to keep it together.

Of course, I could just take off the ears and lose the horny bunny effect but Sylphid convinced me that this was good training. And since we still have no idea when we get out of this dungeon I need all the training I could get.

“Mayhaps, my Lady needs another...bath?”, Sanakia suggested. “To relief her stress?”

“Hmm…we cooooould...” Sylphid’s smile turned rather sadistic as she looked me up and down. “We are a bit on a time limit though, so I think we need to move on. Can our horny, little bunny endure her burning body for a little bit longer?”

I took a deep breath and pressed my legs together. The arousal wasn’t so bad that I would climax from it, but the constant pressure was hell.

“I...I can take it…”

“Good girl”, Sylphid purred, greatly enjoying my predicament while Sanakia really seemed more disappointed then anything. At least Lucky didn’t seem to care.

We just need to find a returnwood. With Lucky’s luck that should be child’s play. Then we’re out of this hellhole of a dungeon.

Hopefully I don’t lose my mind by then.

…

..

.

“Hmm…”, Sylphid peered down in the darkness. “HMMMM…”

“You’re not attempting to kick me down there again, right?”, I asked, standing well away from the hole.

“Nah”, Sylphid shook her head. “I’m not getting a very stairy vibe from this. This is most likely a trap.”

Uh huh.

“How can you tell?”

“Our stairs look more stairy. This is just a bottomless hole. It’s obvious that anyone would think this is a trap.”

…

“Wouldn’t that make it more likely for the “stairy” stairs to be the trap?”

“Ah”, Sylphid grinned. “But what if they want us to think like that?”

“The Lady Sylphid has a point”, Sanakia nodded. “But what if they want us to think that we think they want us to think like that?”

This conversation is about to give me brain cancer.

But Sylphid was the, well, the closest thing to a dungeon expert we had. If she doesn’t want to jump down a bottomless pit we probably should heed her advice.

Thus, we swiftly moved through a whole bunch of different rooms that Sylphid and Lucky had already conquered to reach their set of stairs.

They chambers all featured numerous traps and tricks that were already disabled. Some of them looked quite devious. Not only that but near every room featured multiple exits. This part of the dungeon was also considerably larger then the few rooms Sanakia and I went through.

“Watch your step”, Sylphid warned. “If you step on one of the tiles with a Cherry on top you lose an article of clothing.”

R-Right.

“I’m surprised you managed to clear all that”, I said once we passed the Cherry clothes loss room.

“What? No way?”, Sylphid laughed. “This much is a piece of cake! Once this is all over we can do some proper dungeon diving, Handsome! I teach you all the tricks!”

“My Lady, you mustn’t!”, Sanakia objected. “Once this is all over and you have obtained the Holy Blade Nikkou we must set out on a quest to slay the Demon King!”

“I rather lay with the Demon King, if you know what I mean, Gi is pretty hot. Has that Sexy Dad energy going. I like to call him Daddy Demon King.”

“Do we have to talk about this?”, I growled.

“Why Handsome?”, Sylphid asked innocently. “Does the thought of getting impaled by the Demon King’s huge throbbing blade bother you? Just imagine what he could do to that cute body of yours.”

“I really like Gele”, Lucky chimed in. “She’s cute!”

“Oh yeaaaahhh...that was the naked one, right? The one who enslaved all of humanity and put them into farms. Maaan, I wish I was born 800 years ago. I wanted to fuck her too!”

“Laying with a Demon King?”, Sanakia shuddered. “H-How scandalous! My Lady would never commit such an act of adultery unless she were to be captured and violated at the Demon King’s court for all to see! But even then it would take years, serving as the Demon King hordes personal plaything before her spirit would break!”

Moving through all these rooms took an annoyingly long time(and the verbal vomit coming out of the mouth of my companions didn’t help either) but eventually we reached the fabled “stairy” stairs.

They looked more safe, but considering that our other option was a black hole that was not saying much. These stairs were a capsule. It reminded me a bit of our elevator back at the tower.

Only smaller.

Considerably so.

I also very quickly figured out why Sylphid wanted to use these stairs.

“Ready?”, Sylphid asked with a giddy smirk.

“Ready!”, seconded Lucky.

“Ready!”, confirmed Sanakia, just as giddy. “The time is at last at hand that we retrieve the Holy Blade Nikkou for my Lady!”

“There is no way we are fitting all inside that thing”, I complained. “Can’t we use it in turns?”

“Absolutely not”, Sylphid very quickly informed me. “Transfer between floors needs to happen together, or do you want a repeat from last time?”

That was because you kicked me down the slope!

“Alright, let’s stop wasting time and get in”, Sylphid said and shoved me into the capsule.

Well, to my surprise we actually did fit into the capsule but with how small and tight it was, there was absolutely zero free space, making for a rather awkward ride. Except for Sylphid of course who had the time of her life.

While I was busy getting my body stimulated way past what was tolerable, I couldn’t help but notice that the elevator travel up, not downwards. But at this point, I probably should stop questioning the layout of this place.

It was traveling for quite a while too, not just that but at remarkable high speed. Just as I was wondering just how long this blasted ride will take, the door opened up and we all spilled outside.

I grunted, as I fell down on a soft, grassy surface, panting furiously.

I was honestly just one bad touch away from starting to furiously masturbating, throwing all shame and dignity in the wind.

...speaking of wind. A soft, refreshing breeze was blowing. And the grassy surface was tickling my body.

No, not just grassy, this was actual grass and I was outside too.

I squinted into the beautiful deep blue sky. The sun was dipping on the horizon and just a hint of dusk was in the air, creating a breathtaking scenery of an early summer evening.

“W-where are we?”

“Good question”, Sylphid responded, taking a look around herself.

The elevator spilled us out in the middle of a lush, green plain that stretched out for a considerable distance. There was only one building in sight but it made up by it for being especially colossal and majestic.

It was a towering spire, seemingly made out of crystal that appeared to pierce the heaven itself.

That was when Sanakia let out a gasp. “I...I know this place!”

“Yep”, Lucky grinned. “Geez, this dungeon is soo weird! Never thought we end up here of all places.”

“Where is this?”, I asked again, so flabbergasted that I even temporarily forgot my insane arousal.

“The floating city of Ylapu, my Lady”, Sanakia finally informed me. “And the final resting place of the Holy Blade Nikkou.”