You alway had an affection towards politics.

Chapter 72

You don't really have much choice, even if you prefer not to tell your sisters about it. Carrie has catapulted yourself to the top of your list and the thought that she could torpedo your luck like a Japanese long lance worry you like it would a lonely US destroyer. She is clever, confident and energetic. If she directs her focus on the wrong things, it could end badly for you and your loved ones. You don't admit it lightly, but you have to assume that Carrie focuses the traits for which you've always respected and admired her on a target that doesn't just harm you. The fact that Emma and your sisters could also be affected if Carrie attacks you is the important point that is now taking you across the grass to the bench at the edge of the forest.

Carrie and Emma sit on it, facing each other, talking quietly and passionately. You look around briefly and find that the other girls - out of fear or kindness - keep a distance that allows the other two to talk undisturbed. One last encouraging wave from Millie, who paws at her friends and then tidies up the kitchen with them gives you the strength to penetrate the imaginary defense belt.

You're probably just imagining it, but when you infiltrate a radius of ten meters around the two, your neck hairs rise up and you now know how it must have felt for an F-4 pilot when he entered North Vietnam. You crack your shoulders and neck, arm yourself for battle or an ambush. But neither flak nor rockets hit you, rather the inviting looks of Emma, who, as she notices you, are the first to show a relief that accelerates your steps. Then she whispers something to Carrie and it is as if all Vietnamese missiles are suddenly launched at you. You snap up in alarm, your eyes darken and your face twists with anger. Your drill sergeant - now in full combat gear and flak vest tells you that it is no shame to piss yourself before a fight for life and **** like a little child and you would have drunk more cocoa this morning... who knows...

"Hey ladies..." You bite your tongue. That surely came across as arrogant and Carrie doesn't give you a chance and jumps on it immediately.

"What do you want here?" she barks at you. It lacks all eloquence and decency. Her pupils are dilated with anger... or grief, you recognize, and she is as close to Emma as she can. Does she protect Emma from me... or herself?

"He wants to see his girlfriend," Emma says calmly and gives you a soothing smile. But she also puts her arm around her friend and you notice that Emma sits between you. Either to keep the two of you apart or to form a buffer between you. Either way, you get angry that Emma has to throw herself in the line of fire for you. You frown. Does she even have a choice? You considered this thing like a combat mission. Maybe this is not Vietnam? Are you just making it worse? You are firmly convinced that **** has its place in this world. You are the best example. It was no different with Josh. Denise also has to be guided with a strict hand so that she doesn't spread her legs for everyone. You love to redirect the **** intended for your sisters towards you. And now Emma is doing the same for you with Carrie. But you cannot allow that. Perhaps it is selfish to do that and you may take away her free will. But it's not that you don't trust Emma to be able to help you and to stand between you and Carrie. You don't want to take away her freedom. It is between you and Carrie and you are responsible for that.

You put a hand on your girlfriend's shoulder and she rises hesitantly at first, but then puts her arms around you as you do. It is not an intimate gesture and is not intended to make Carrie angry. You just want to show your girlfriend that you appreciate her effort, even if it should be you who can be shot at.

"You are my ideal Wild Weasel" you smile and allude to the mission that was introduced in Vietnam and is the most dangerous part of a campaign.

"What?" Emma giggles amused while Carrie rolls her eyes. You just shake your head slightly and look past Emma.

"Hey Carrie. May I join you?” No matter how you say it, it doesn't sound good, and so the soon-to-be representative of the legislature takes it too.

"It's your house in which you can behave like King Finn the first." She crosses her arms and even her legs and looks away from you. "As if you are interested in the fact that two friends want to be alone for a while." You and Emma look at each other and again it is your wonderful girlfriend who rushes to the SA-7 positions for you so that you can continue the mission.

"I would like it if he stayed here. I think he deserves to know why he comes under fire.” Then her eyes widen and she hits her forehead. "Wild Weasel!" She calls out and your face lights up. Carrie looks at her questioningly and annoyed, while your girlfriend throws herself against your neck again. After a smacking kiss on both cheeks, Emma laughs: "You really live in the wrong time."

"If I were in the seventies, I would now crawl through the jungle and not be with you. I live in the right time.” You have to shake to bounce off the feeling that Emma caused. Now is not the time to announce your love for her, and when you look at Carrie, who tries hard not to look at how Emma adores you, you get a very urgent feeling that it is a good idea. But that can't be. She was the one who pushed Emma the most in my direction. You notice that you - the massive F-105 Thundercheef Strike-Bomber and Emma as the agile and fast Wild Weasel do not have enough space on the bench next to the SA-7 site. You exchange looks with your wing woman and a mischievous but also somewhat reserved smile lies on her face.

When you sit next to Carrie - as many centimeters away as possible - she wants to say something, but then becomes very quiet when Emma settles on your lap. She takes your arms and puts them around you like a seat belt. It can clearly be seen that she tries not to show Carrie her love and lust too much when she hugs you, but when she puts her head back against your chest and purring comfortably, she fails and you see it in the face of Carrie an emotion that actually tells you everything. So that's how it is...

"So what do you want?" she asks and you are wondering whether it will be her first official act to incite killers on your neck when she sits in the Oval Office. The question elicits a chuckle and you have to wipe a few strands of Emma-hair off your face before answering.

"Actually, I just want everyone around me to be happy," you say lightly, summarizing the goal of your life and the path you are taking with your girls in one simple sentence. What causes Emma to hug you happily only brings a scornful snort from Carrie.

"Well if that's what you want, I congratulate you." You and Emma look at each other and when Emma hands you the torch and lets you talk to Carrie, she does it out of love for you and knowing that you don’t want to harm her or Carrie. The trust honors you but you are also glad that Emma does not leave. You will face that together.

"Come on Carrie," you say encouragingly. "We all know you're not like that."

"Oh yes?" Another snort of disgrace.

"Yes," you grin. "Otherwise you are much smarter and more disciplined." She looks angry at you but you keep going. "I don't like it when you're angry. I prefer you as an ally than as an opponent and I would be happy if you tell me what I can do to make it happen again.” The answer comes immediately and in a devastating tone.

"Stop fucking everything that comes under your nose!" Emma tightens a little on you but tries not to show anything. It is not a big surprise for any of you after the last evening. But now it's the turn of Carrie and it looks like she has a lot to say. You rely on her to keep her under control, after all, that's how you got to know her. But maybe that's an overestimation on your part. "You've got a girlfriend dammed! How can you do this to Emma? "

"Carrie, I told you that..." But your girl is cut short. You hope that your support is enough, which you give her in the form of your hand in hers. With Millie, you would have already pounced on your opponent, but you know that Emma respects Carrie as much as you do. What makes it even more painful for you and your girlfriend at the moment.

"No, not now Emma. I know you are blind of love and want to justify everything he does to you."

"He loves me," says Emma, sounding alarmingly weak. You want to step in, but Carrie gets ahead of you.

"He fucks his sisters! All of them! Not only one! And it doesn't just look like it happened once.” Carrie jumps up from her seat and stands in front of you. You look her straight in the eye as Emma turns her head away. Carrie has been right so far, but you're starting to worry that Emma may be too much on her friend's side. You always gave her the choice to drop you if she doesn't like the conditions under which you are together. But with Carrie, your promise to let her go and not to suppress her has a whole new, dark meaning. Then she turns to you. "I was lying next to her when you fucked Megan and / or Millie yesterday. She smiled! She lay there, smiled and tried to pretend that you are not cheating on her with two women.” It is not a good sign that Carrie is starting to pace up and down. "With three women! What do you think you're doing? Down there with Maureen? Because of her, Emma got beaten up damn it! And you fuck her too? For that, you have to have the nerves first."

"Carrie sweetheart it wasn't like that," Emma tries to calm her friend down. When she lets go of your hand to walk towards Carrie, a cold shiver runs through you.

"And you also defend him? Heaven Emma! Until recently you were a virgin. How do you know what it feels like to have a boyfriend? A real one who respects you and who doesn't put his cock in everything that has a pussy between the legs?” You listen carefully to what Carrie has to say. It is not her words that are decisive, but her voice. But you don't hear a spark of sadness or fear out of it. That makes you nervous. One can fight fear, grief too. But anger cannot be kept in check and you can see Emma starting to react to Carrie. She probably doesn't know it herself, but you quickly notice that your girlfriend's attitude towards you is changing. And that makes you terrified. Emma doesn't look at you that often anymore, is more fixated on Carrie and this leads to the fact that the angry person feels even more animated. But you can't do anything about it now. You promised not to put pressure on Emma. But does she notice that too? Does she know I'm holding back to give her her freedom? Or does she only fall under the influence of Carrie? The situation does not leave you without a mark, but you ask yourself how it can go well.

Carrie doesn't stop doing her tirades for quite a while and it seems Emma is getting more and more under her influence. As she feels increasingly uncomfortable in her skin, your concern and anger about the angry and unforgiving behavior of the otherwise approachable and open-minded Carrie grow. You are not entitled to contradict her. She is right. But you still have an obligation to your friends. It is a dilemma that you have seen coming but is very difficult to influence. A well-known coldness spreads inside you when you realize that you look at Emma with the same feeling as your sisters when you thought you had to separate forever. Emma has never been so far from you as she is now. It doesn't matter that your bodies touch and your girlfriend has her hands clasped in her lap and looks at Carrie, a person she always looked up to.

"Okay Carrie", you finally say and manage to silence her on the third attempt. "I understand your point and I also see how it has to affect you and any other normal thinking person." You hope that if you declare her to be the good one, she'll be better off talking to you. Not correct.

"Exactly! I've always suspected Megan was going for you. If you fuck her, it's just disgusting, but understandable.” She snorts. "You guys are just hormone-controlled animals that want to jump on everything that moves." She shakes her head as if she were talking about a bitter fact that is bad but cannot be changed. "We just have to live with it. But then Millie too? How long has this been going on with her? She's not been eighteen long and I swear to you if I find out that you have been with her before…”

"Hey!" The call sounds loudly through the forest and the plain to the house. The girls there pretend they didn't hear anything. Emma sent out this call half a second before you would have. Carrie looks as if she has punched her in the face while the other looks like being accused of being a Nazi.

"Emma..." Carrie stammer and look at her (hopefully still) friend. Emma stares directly at her face and from her place on your lap you can watch them both. Her hand has closed around yours again and gives you strength.

"It's not like that Carrie. You can be angry with Finn and me, I understand that.”

"But..." Carrie is silenced with an energetic gesture.

"No 'buts'. Yes, Finn sleeps with me. And also with Megan and Millie and Maureen.” At first it looks as if Carrie is satisfied, as if she had won. But then she looks into her friend's face and realizes her defeat. The behavior of Emma has changed fundamentally and with astonishing surprise you find that it was Millie and the mention of her name. "I know all of that. And it doesn't bother me."

"But that's not normal," her opponent shrieks almost desperately and throws her hands up in the air.

"So what? Who cares?” The answer is devastating and Carrie stumbles a few steps back. Emma doesn't sound defiant or angry. Rather, she takes pity on the girl, which until now had all the logical reasons and arguments on her side. You definitely feel sorry for Carrie, you can imagine how it should feel to fall so deep. Nor is it up to you to inflict these undeserved wounds on her. Her friend has to do that. “I don't feel sadness or anger when I see my boyfriend talking to other girls, kissing them, or sleeping with them. I've loved him for a long time and it was a very bad time for me to watch him from the distance.” She takes your hand again and wraps hers around it. She has never looked at you so lovingly and with so much conviction. You just can't believe it and the only thing that comes to mind is to shake your head paralyzed. When Emma laughs happily, everything is perfect.

"But..." Carrie can't think of anything else when Emma ignores her, puts her hand on your cheek and looks you in the eye. She continues to speak without taking her eyes off you and you with an unprecedented intensity.

"He always meant to be with his sisters," Emma says softly and reverently and now it is she who shakes her head in disbelief, her eyes fixed on you and full of love. "Everyone could see it. Me too.” Her fingers lightly caress the little hairs on your cheek and send a shiver down your spine like a cool breeze in the summer. Then Emma finally looks at the girl again, who apparently has the same feelings for your girlfriend as you do. You don't know if it's true and it's just a feeling, but one doesn't freak out so much just because a friend is supposedly treated badly. Unfortunately, this is the case. "I was sad for so long and knew that he would never see me. But I was lucky. You may not have seen it, and now I know why. But Megan saw that I couldn't escape him, even if she loves him too.” Now she speaks with conviction and Carrie has no chance but listens to her while you are sitting there silently. “I fell in love with Finn because he cares for his loved ones so well. I always wanted to have someone like that. Megan had no right to keep Millie or Maureen away from him. They are siblings and it couldn't work if he was only with one of them. But with me?” She laughs almost mockingly. "It's a different thing for me. I am a stranger. Yes, I love Finn with all my heart, but I was still an outsider.”

"Emma..." now it is you who can no longer keep his mouth shut. Of course you know that she doesn't blame you for that, but you're still the one she fell in love with. And the one she fell in love with cares about his loved ones and his influence on them. But of course your girlfriend silences you with a kiss that obviously breaks the other heart and shows you once and for all that it's not just you who fell in love with the sweet, shy and sometimes really wicked bookworm.

"The story could have ended here," Emma thinks out loud. "But that night Megan made me go up to him and show him my feelings. And what did he do? He wanted to protect me. He said he would not do me justice. At that time I didn't know how he felt about his sisters and just thought he had to take care of them. But when Megan got me out of bed that night, she wasn't just doing it to please him. She said to me that if I didn't go to him, I would regret it all my life. It was she who brought me to him. His girlfriend. And do you know why?” Carrie can only stand in one place and only listen to her love as she destroys her world through you. “Because she knew what it was like to love someone and not get love returned. What is the alternative to a relationship with him and his sisters? To be alone and to hunger for love?” Now your girlfriend's voice comes to life. And anger. “Finn offers something that everyone wants. He and his girls took me in and allowed me to be happier than ever. Then who cares that he has other women? He loves me, gives me closeness and, above all, he cares about me so much that I feel guilty every time we are together. That's me.” Again she looks at you dreamily and gives you the feelings which Carrie certainly wants. “And then he does everything to make me happy. And he always does it. And if he goes to Millie or Megan...” She giggles softly. "And soon Maureen too, then I'm just glad that he's part of my life."

"But he doesn't really love you," Carrie whispers, and it's as ineffective as a thrown stone on Tiananmen Square.

"Why? Because he doesn't give me all his time?” Emma asked defiantly. "Because I have to share him with other girls? Sure, I could give him a choice. You or me. What would that do? He would suffer, I would suffer, Millie, Megan and Maureen would suffer. In the end, what we have built and what I can participate in would break and we would all be left without what we all want. To be loved.” Emma looks at Carrie and you almost want to hold her back. Emma is so in love with you that she doesn't seem to notice that Carrie is dying inside. "The first time with him and Megan... my first time... was incredible. Incredibly rough, incredibly overwhelming, incredibly large... and incredibly beautiful, incredibly liberating and incredibly loving. And in the end it was Finn who apologized to me. For what? I still ask myself that today. He reproached himself and I love him because he is still sure that he would have treated me badly.” A tear runs down the cheek of Carrie and her eyes turn red with grief. You have to pull yourself together because you're so touched by the words of Emma that you can't say anything. On the other hand, you are currently watching how Carrie is disassembled and want to help her too. You could easily be standing in their place. “In the end it all comes down to the question of whether I'm happy with my boyfriend, right? You worry about that.” Carrie only sobs and nods as you try to cuddle Emma with pats. "Well, I don't think I could be happier that a guy who I love loves me in return. For me it is the fulfillment of my dreams. And I owe him everything for the sacrifices he makes, caring for so many girls and being worried for them. And I get along with his other friends or sisters. They feel the same way I do and I'm incredibly grateful that they let me into his life. I found a good friend in Megan with whom I can talk about my worries and desires without being demonized. Taking care of Millie gives me a feeling that I've been looking for forever. And I'm already looking forward to Maureen. We may all be different and maybe we have all other reasons to love Finn. But one thing is the same for all of us. We are grateful that we are allowed to be in the group and the rules that he has set up ensure that we see ourselves as a team and not as rivals. And anyone who wants to disrupt this balancing act is my enemy. Because I'm not going to let someone take away what Finn gives me."

Now the moment has come when you silence Emma with an intimate and long-lasting kiss on the lips. On the one hand so that Carrie doesn't immediately try to drown herself in the lake, on the other hand because you are so incredibly proud and horny for Emma. Carrie Wilson, on the other hand, is finished. Shit, you think. Shit! Now I can reach her. Through Emma I can reach and maybe help her. Briefly you wonder if she even wants that. But in the worst case, anger will distract her from her pain. And judging by the way Emma clings to you, for now she's more concerned with you than with the heap of misery that used to be a young and proud politician.

"You know what it's like, don't you, Carrie?" you ask her quietly and calmly as Emmahas separated her lips from yours.

"How's what?" It doesn't even occur to her to be quick-witted. Carriejust looks defiant and you can't blame her after this defeat. Maybe you can build it up now? Germany and Japan also had to be bombed to the ground before they could be rebuilt and made a driving **** in Asia and Europe.

"Loving someone and knowing that he won't reciprocate the feelings." Carrie only looks at you reproachfully, but Emma now seems to notice how far she has gone in trying to protect you and her friends. And suddenly you are surrounded by two injured girls. Emma clings to you again and Carrie is still just there.

"It's what Emma said," she defiantly spits at your feet. "Who cares?"

You say "me" very dryly and know that it will take more to rebuild this girl. "And Emma too." Your friend nods on your lap and seems happy that you are there and heal the wounds she has inflicted. "I had no idea you felt that way."

"Of course not. You only have in your head how to get your thing into the next one. With me you have probably already imagined it.” Contempt speaks from her but that is understandable. And of course there is despair. "And of course you don't see what you're doing in the world. You men always think only with the dick!"

"I agree with you on one thing. I saw how Emma was doing and didn't know how to help her. I was very afraid that one day she would reveal herself to me. I am not as smart as her or my sisters. I haven't seen a way. If it were up to me, Emma would live a different life today. But what should I do if the people I trust most tell me what I have to do?”

"Fight against becoming a perverted pig!"

"And let Emma suffer? Would you make the girl you love suffer?” That hits where she lives and Carrie has no argument against it.

"I'm not the accused here," she tries to talk herself out, and you're glad that something of her analytical nature seems to be coming back.

"No, I like to play the part. But the question remains. I know it looks like I just wanted to add another pussy to my list. And I also made it very clear to the girls that I am responsible for building our relationship. But I'm not a robot. If someone I like suggests a way with that I can please everyone, I will take it. And so far... I say on purpose 'so far'... it looks pretty good too. I wouldn't have thought it myself, but it seems to be working. I always hear how well everyone is doing."

"It's easy to say from your position. And what do you do when Emma demands something you don't want to fulfill?"

"I'm not demanding anything from him," Emma replies somewhat defiantly. You put your hand on her shoulder and silence her without giving Carrie the idea that you would control her. It is exactly the tightrope act that you feared. But that's exactly what you prepared for.

“If Emma demands something that I think is right, we work as a group on it. I always gave her the way out to let me drop if I wasn't enough for her.” The thought stops your breath and you have to swallow the fear before you can continue. "It's a real danger for me and it would hurt a lot. But if it's the best for Emma, I won't stand in her way.” Carrie almost seems happy and hopeful. You can't blame her if you were in the same place... no, you were in the same place as she was with Maureen, Megan and Millie. You also hoped that if they let you, you could get closer to them. And Carrie sees here that this strategy can even work. Only not with her. Emma has chosen you and you are surely the first to understand the pain that tears her heart. Who wouldn't fall in love with Emma?

"And that's the reason why I stay with him, even if he's with two... three other girls," Emma says and just sounds happy. "With him, I know that I am in good hands. He has everything he wants, even more of it than anyone else, and yet he wants me. And to get ahead of your next point: He is the one who is most against the rule that he can have the women he loves. Megan, Millie and I regularly have to persuade him to be happy too. So he doesn't collect women.” And then she pulls out for the last blow. Unconsciously, but still devastating. “We are just a group of girls who love the same boy. We don't argue, we don't fight, we just enjoy it and are happy that we have found a way to make everyone happy. And that won't change. ”It doesn't sound angry or aggressive. But Carrie got it anyway. You can physically see her downfall.

"So you will never give me a chance?"

"We won't be a couple, Carrie. I like you and you are a great friend, but my heart belongs to Finn."

"Okay" is all that comes in answer and what else should the beaten Wilson do? You just sit there, feel Emma on your lap and imagine what it should be like to lose her. That perfect sweet naughty angel on your lap. You don't dare to say anything, you don't want to sound victorious or mean. But there has to be something you can do to help Carrie.

"Carrie, I can only say that we are both there for you. You definitely don't want to hear that and I understand that. Emma is there for you and I am also if you want. Feel free to yell at me and hate me. I just want to ask you to respect her decision. Please don't put Emma or my sisters in danger.” You hope that your words will reach the injured girl, but the mention of your sisters - certainly Millie - make Emma react.

"You wouldn't do me any good if you assumed that you could separate us. You have the power to harm us a lot, but that would only harm you.” Carrie thinks for a few seconds and appears to be trying to call the police. Then she looks at you.

"You think I'm very stupid, don't you?" She puts a fake grin on her face and groans loudly. "It's my fault. I was the one who told you not to give up. Who would have thought that you would transform into a princess, who would marry into an incestuous ruling family and become a concubine of a tyrannical king?"

"I see myself more like a warlord," you murmur somewhat amused.

"Oh shut up you son of a bitch" Carrie grins sneeringly but somehow also in a good mood and shows you her middle finger.

"Fair enough" you grin.

It's a good way to end a catastrophic conversation. But it couldn't have been better. Carrie insults you a few more times and you take it calmly. For taking Emma away from her, you deserve a few harsh words about yourself, your little tiny dick and your amputated balls. And you also have enough opportunities to prove your masculinity later on.

"And one more thing..." Carrie begins and turns around again while walking. "I would be grateful if you... well..."

"Do not worry. There are also lesbian presidents… at some point… in the future.” The laughing of the three of you could be more cheerful, but at least there are no tears.

"What are you doing now?" Emma wants to know.

"I do not know. I think I'll go for a walk and think about how to make you a lesbian.” Carrie grins weakly and raises her arms apologetically. "I know, not very liberal of me. I do not care. It is not yet election day.” She waves to you and goes inside. You watch her until her back has disappeared through the door.

"How are you?" you ask Emma.

"I wanted to ask you the same thing", she smiles but seems very reserved and in her thoughts. There is definitely something. Carrie touched something in her, you can feel it.

"I asked first" you grin, but don't know if that was too much pressure in this situation. Because you fear the answer. The fear grows when Emma says nothing. You gently push her onto the bench from your lap next to you so that you can see her better. You put your hands on your thighs and she grabs them on her own. "You just defended me pretty well and pretty much destroyed Carrie." Emma just nods. "How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know," she admits meekly. "It felt good and bad."

"Do you need time to think?"

"Aren't you afraid that I could change my mind and still become a lesbian?"

"Well, maybe you will be bi", you think and realize that only questions are asked here and everyone fears the answers.

"Would you let that happen?"

"The thinking?"

"That I decide again."

"Do you want that?" The question is out before you can bite your tongue. The trust in your girlfriend is too great and the situation too new. Emma is also torn between her words and the ones of Carrie.

"Would you let me?" Again and again questions without answers. That annoys you. You are annoying. Your look becomes darker and Emma realizes it, misinterprets it, and looks worried. "I mean, I'm yours. We don't have to worry about that.” She wants to kiss you but you prevent her from wanting to **** her to do anything. But she sees it as a sign that she has made a mistake and the situation is starting to derail. Emma Jackson is sitting next to you with a trembling lower lip and suddenly she can no longer look you in the eye. "Maybe it was too fast and too violent after all?" She wonders and continues on the path you and Carrie directed her to. "Maybe I really don't know what it's like to have a boyfriend who is loyal to me. Maybe Carrie is right. You have to see that too, right? Maybe we are really blind of love and don't see the truth."

And then she lets go of your hand.

No, it can't go that way, you think. But you're too scared to **** Emma to touch you now. It would send the wrong signal either way. It was going so well. But Emma is right when she says you can only fool yourself. You also have no experience in a relationship with several girls. And Carrie was right. Oh fuck!

"Please say something" begs Emma, who apparently doesn't know what to do. "It went so well. Why are we afraid now?" What should you say? You don't know it yourself. Or do you? It's actually quite simple. And so you start talking without knowing if it's a good idea.

"I would let you do what you think is right."

"But..."

"No, no 'but'. We live a life that is not normal. Carrie is right about that and I think that's where a lot of our fear comes from. We do something that is not normal and expect a certain result. I can understand your doubts when we say everything will be fine. Who knows that? Who can say that?” Emma only seems to be confused.

"I don't want to lose you," she whimpers, leaning her head against your shoulder.

“We fight the whole world with our way. We have to be clear about that. We are seen together in public, but you also see how difficult it is to keep our secret. Especially since we all don't want that."

"You're scaring me." Two hands cling to you and you pat your girlfriend's back.

"I said I would let you go if you wanted to. But I don't do it because I don't love you or just love you a bit. I would let you go because you mean everything to me. Much more than I mean to myself. You, Millie, Megan and Maureen... if she allows it... are important to me. How do you feel when you hear your name with so many others?"

"I already said that," she whispers.

"But Carrie is no longer there and we have to be honest with each other. Do you have a bad feeling about sharing me with other girls?" Emma looks at you and you can't read her eyes. Carrie is right in her words. And it's better to end it here and here than if Emma binds her so desperately to you that you destroy her should she have to part with you.

"What I said was what I meant. You are the love of my life."

"Then what are you afraid of?" Emma is silent, but you can't let go now. "Come on. I know you're smart enough to tell me that.” She snuggles closer to you.

"I'm scared because it's something I don't know. When Carrie said that I have no experience and therefore cannot see what I find in you, she scared me."

"I understand. It is a path that is new to all of us. You know, I waited a long time to tell you that I love you. Just because you said it so quickly. I'm also sometimes hesitant to kiss you or take your hands because that's exactly what it is: take. And I don't want to take anything from you that you don't want to give me. I would love to kiss you, hug you and be close to you. But because I'm with so many other girls, I'm afraid to act as if I want to own you."

"But I want exactly that. That you love and hold me. When you took me like on our first evening, I was overjoyed.”

"Why? I thought I would only use you."

"That showed me that you won't let me go. That you want me and fight for me. That you let me into your world. "

"And I thought I was pushing you with it." You have to laugh out loud when you realize what is happening. "No wonder Carrie is worried. We can't even foresee what the other one wants.” Emma chuckles too, and when you kiss her, her tears flow for a much happier reason. "OK. Listen… honey” you say and put a nuance of dominance in your voice that makes Emma giggle.

"Yes my lord. What is there?” She looks happy and it is also an important moment for you.

"For both of us it is still new, the thing we are in. Is it okay for you if I feel like touching you and being close to you a little more often and don't hold back as often?” You have never seen Emma nod so happily.

"And is it okay for you if I let myself fall more often and enjoy being led by you? Because I trust you and love you?” You also nod and sniff lightly. Then you fall into your arms.

"Shit, that could have been easily been a blue eye," you murmur, sucking the scent of her hair deep into your nose.

"But it is not. Because we talk to each other and trust each other.” Emma sniffs a little louder than you and rubs her face against your chest. "We have to thank Carrie."

"Right. Without her that would have come to us much later and who knows how much my fear to control you and your fear that I don't need you would have poisoned our relationship?"

"Now I'm a little ashamed to have treated her like this." One thing is still important about Carrie and you want to talk to Emma about it today. But Carrie is not in your inner circle and that's what Emma is. When she realizes this, she smiles happily and listens to you.

"I love you, Emma Jackson. I love you with all my heart and all the love I can muster is yours."

"I know that. I also love you wholeheartedly Finn Lynchwood and I'm happy to get everything you can give me. I don't need more to be happy."

"Promise me we'll always talk to each other to bring this whole thing to a perfect end." It was a disturbing moment, but it had to be. Carrie showed you that just because someone loves you, it doesn't necessarily mean a happy ending. To do this, you have to work, listen and respond to the other person. And you're grateful to Carrie for this confirmation. Hence your next question.

"So Carrie is a lesbian? I didn't know."

“She didn't know it for a long time either, I think. I had my first kiss with her."

"Oh really? I want to hear the story.” You snicker.

"I was thinking of you. Poor Carrie.” You clear your throat and direct Emma back at you.

"Listen. You know my feelings for you.” Emma nods again. “I trust you if you want to make Carrie happy. She's not a man. So…"

"But I just want you. I'm sorry for her, but that's the way it is."

"I... can't deny that it makes me proud."

"That makes you a good person. A man who won't let me go. And that's why I love you."

"Poor Carrie," you say again, but respect Emma and her decision.

"Honey, listen." She kisses you on the lips gently for a long time. "We have only been together for such a short time. It's not a bad thing if I just focus on you and the relationship between you, me and the girls. I do it for love.” Again she kisses you and this time she is already a little greedy. "But I trust you. Just as you manage to make me happy and Megan and Millie and Maureen and... all the others, without breaking, so I trust you with Carrie." You have to giggle amused.

"What do you expect? I have a penis. This makes me unsuitable to use my conventional strategies with her.” Emma also laughs quietly and puts a leg over yours. For her too, as much physical contact as possible is now important.

"I just want to say that I stand behind you trying to make the world a better place."

"I know that and I couldn't do it without you." You kiss her cheek and you look out over the lake. The sun is gaining more and more power and it promises to be a hot day.

"I'm now starting to integrate the good Maureen into our... as Carrie called it... incestuous realm lead by a perverted king. The poor woman doesn't even have clothes. "

"Are you going shopping with her?"

"Do you want to come along?" Again only questions but no answers but now you know that there is always a solution with Emma because you love each other.

• And do you want to come along with me to https://www.patreon.com/writingshark and have a great time there?