Well that was – why are you falling

When your eyes open everything looks different. It takes a second for you to figure out this isn't your room. You side feels warm and you look down to see Edin curled up against you. What just happened?

You nudge Edin awake. He stirs a little and looks at you with groggy eyes. "Christopher!" The grogginess clears up and he sounds surprised.

"Hey, where are we?" You ask feeling like that is the most important choice.

"You're ok, you don't feel tried, do you want something to eat or drink?" He bounces out of the bed and runs to a cabinet with pile of bread and what you hope is water. He assemble a tray and runs it back to you.

"I'm fine." You feel kinda weak and run some magic through yourself to recover.

When you open your eyes again Anastasia is sitting in a chair next to the bed reading something.

"Uh hi?" You would like some context.

"Don't use magic." She say before looking up at you, concern on her face.

"Ok, why?" You feel like you're about to be told some really bad news. "What happened?" You feel a sudden desire to test your magic. To see if it was still there or if 'creating' Clare had drained you and you were back to below average. Oh yeah that's a, that's a deep well of fear right there.

"You exhausted yourself, drained so much magic you passed out. When Edin found you ran to get me and I had you brought to my estate." She put her book down and walked over to you looking worried.

Oh fuck you are back to below average. No wait you're worse because now you don't even have the magic you thought only made you below average. "W-what now?"

"You've been asleep since yesterday." She sounded like she was dancing around a topic which really super didn't fucking help you.

"What about me, my magic do I, can I still use it?" The fear leaked into your voice and she seemed to notice it.

"Not for a while, normally it takes a few days for recovery but since you are, you, I don't know how long it will take. How do you feel?" The concern in her voice and your own fear made you wonder, was that concern for you, or for her plans for you.

Pushing the thought away you focus your attention inwardly, feeling your magic resting inside you. It feels small but is growing. You let out a relieved breath. "Ok, ok, I'm fine getting stronger." That feeling of relief brings another feeling with it, an internal questioning. Were you scared of losing your magic because it proved you were above average, or because it you needed it now more than ever since you'd decided to join Clare's game against her sister? And why did the former being the correct option make you feel uneasy.

"Good, then you can tell me what you did." You give her a confused look. "I've see you expend more magic in a second than most people can in a life time and you exhausted all of it in your room with no residue or effect."

That's a fair question but one you can't really answer reasonably. "I just wanted to see how much magic I could use." You sound sheepish because it's such a stupid lie but that sheepishness might actually sell it.

Anastasia's eyes bore into you for a moment and she shakes her head. "I sent Edin back to your room because he was worrying too much, you should go and see him." She stands up and walks to the door with her book in hand leaving you with no idea if she believed you. You take a risk and try to see her aura to gauge her feelings. It makes your eyes itch so you stop and have to blink a few times. She stops at the door and turns to look at you. "We need to talk when you are feeling better." She sounded normal and since you couldn't see her aura.

"Wait what time is it?" You question is met by a closing door in answer. Guess you'll have to find out for yourself. You tense your leg muscles and they feel fine. You sit up in bed and rotate to put your feet on the ground. You stand up carefully just in case you are weaker than you thought. You get vertical and don't feel like falling over. Taking a few steps you are fine, you guess magical exhaustion doesn't effect muscles. That's good to know at least.

You look at the cabinet and see the pile of bread and water. A few minutes later the bread and water are gone and you walk out of the room feeling better already. Leaving your room you can tell it is dark outside. Walking to a window you see night but aren't sure what time it is beyond that. Well you should go and see Edin. You are a little surprised Anastasia was able to get him to leave your side but you doubted he'd be happy as a result.

Walking through the estate you note some changes. The paints that were on the wall have been replaced. Formerly there were a lot of portraits now it's landscapes. In the dark you can't tell colour that well but get the feeling Edin's advice on curtains had been listened to, which means you are on the second floor east side. That helps you to find the stairs and as you walk down them you wonder where Anastasia went. Considering the time probably to her own bed. Does that mean she had been sitting awake by your bed until you woke up. That would be sweet if you didn't think it was because she saw you as a tool and wanted to make sure you weren't to damaged for her use.

You reach the estate front door and walk outside. The cool air on you face makes you pause and breath in deeply. It's a little cold but the tingling in your lungs it causes it pleasant. You then yawn, guessing that means you are still low on magic you walk back to your dorm.

When you reach your floor you stop. Vatarie's door is in front of you. You missed your date her and went on a date with Asune. It's probably too late for you to knock at her door isn't it. Deciding it is you make a note to talk to her and explain the moment you see her tomorrow. Walking to your door you feel sleep pull at you. Checking inside yourself for your magic you can feel the food had helped but sleep is what you need.

Opening the door you walk over to the beds. Edin is asleep in his and sit on it reaching up to gently stroke his hair. He stirs and looks at you through sleepy eyes. It takes a second before he recognises you and smiles sleepily. You lean down and kiss his forehead. He goes immeditaly back to sleep. His ability to regain unconsciousness is something to marvel at.

You stretch a little and look at your own bed wondering if you should sleep alone or with him when you see someone. For a second you think it's Clare. The second passes and you recognise Vatarie. She is sprawled out on your bed taking up the entire surface and totally out of it.

Well that present a problem. That problem being you aren't sure where you can sleep. If you sleep with Edin will be pissed you chose him over ... you know what fuck it you are too tired to think, that is your bed and you are sleeping. You get off Edin's bed and scoop Vatarie up rolling her onto her side and lay down. She kicks her leg as you move her hard enough that when her heel meets you shin you stifle a grunt of pain. That was kinda your own fault you guess and as you feel a bruise forming you wonder, if heal that with magic will you pass out?

Deciding it's not worth the brain power you fall into your bed and go to sleep.

When a rumble in your stomach rouses you you feel wrapped in warmth. Cracking an eye you see Vatarie has wrapped you possessively in her arms and legs. She was still dozing but her grip was firm enough you weren't going anywhere, so you just went back to sleep, not like it's bad for you at this point.

Coming to again Vatarie is still hugging you but the grip is looser. Unlike last time you can't stay. The reason you woke up is because you are starving. Pulling out of her grip is a lot harder to do without magic to help and after almost a minute of trying to not wake her you give up. "Vatarie." You whisper not wanting to shock her awake. You don't know if you can use magic yet and she is very strong.

She stirs. "Christopher." She mumbles but doesn't wake. You nudge her with a trapped arm making her giggle in ticklish delight as she wakes. "Hmmm." She sighs as she opens her eyes and hugs you tighter. Her eyes are the same golden sclera-less that marked her transformation. She squeezed you forcing air from your lungs.

"Vatarie." You squeaked out making her relax her grip but not let you go. "I need to eat something." You say hoping she'd get the message.

She looked at you in a way that very clearly proved she had completely misunderstood you intention. "Mm good boy." She purred out as she let go and crawled on top of you. She grinned and you saw sharp canines glinting in the morning light. "My good boy." She lifted herself up and start to move her hips up your body when she was stopped by an interrupting cough.

"I think Christopher is hungry for food." Edin's voice came from the door way and you leaned around Vatarie to see him holding a tray of food, the smell of meat and gravy hit your nose and you tried to sit up while still under Vatarie. She didn't budge for a moment then relented and rolled off you. Laying on her side to face away from you and Edin.

You felt a desire to comfort her for some reason, but your stomach demanded attention first. You jumped out of the bed and grabbed the tray tearing your way through the food. Edin looked a little worried as you ate and you mumble out a comment that you are feeling much better. Which you were. When the tray was clean, after a few licks to make sure all the gravy had been consumed, you felt your magic. It felt different somehow. It was still weaker than normal but it also felt, excited.

You risked using it on the bruises Vatarie had given you. There was a tingling that left you wanting more. This is the longest you had ever gone without using your magic since you were a literal babe and magic wanted to be used. And since you were weaker right now ... "What time it is?"

"Just before dawn." Edin answered.

You feel an excitement building in you. You are are weak which means you might be able to imbue. "Great." You run to your wardrobe and pull on some clothes, you only just realised you were only wearing underwear. Getting dressed you looked at Vatarie who was still facing away. "I'm going to the training ground want to come with me?" Vatarie stirred a little and sat up but didn't look at you. "Or you can wait her and when I get back I can eat something else." Vatarie lay back down. You grinned, the excitement at the possibility of success was really getting to you you were just saying things you wanted. Huh maybe life would easier if you were like this all the time.

"Wait Christopher." Edin said as you ran out the door leaving him behind. Whatever he wanted to say he could tell you when you get back. Running down the stairs you didn't use any magic wanting to save it all for the imbuing. When you get to the training ground you are breathing a little heavier than usual. You see the bucket with crappy iron swords and grab one flooding it with magic making it melt. Oh well lots more to test of.

You went through half of them before you took a breath and decided to try and control your flow of magic. With the latest one in hand you drip in magic. And it doesn't melt, it's does glow red as your magic travels up it but no melting. "YES!" You should as your magic reaches the tip and the blade splits in half. Oh well progress.

You grab the next one and then the next and the next. Each time you manage to make it last a little longer, the blade glowing a slightly duller red until the last one that lasts an entire ten seconds before splitting. You look for more but can't see any.

"Can't believe I have to clean up after you." The voice surprised you enough that you jump in the air and spin to see Number Three sitting on the viewing stand staring at you. "How can you not even imbue, kids learn how to imbue."

You shrug. "How can you pour the ocean into a bucket." You say back. "Are there any more swords around?" You are making progress and don't want to quit, your magic still wants to be used after all.

Three shrugs. "Oh sure make more mess for me to clean." She lays onto the stand clearly unhappy with her situation. The only swords left are the actually decent ones that Stephanie said you weren't to touch until you could imbue the crappy iron. But she isn't here.

You take a step towards the swords when you hear a voice. "You can leave to prepare for classes." Stephanie said from another viewing stand. You look over and wonder how long she had been there. You hadn't even checked your surroundings.

"If it means to having to clean up after him." Three said tiredly and walked off. You get the feeling she didn't like you for some reason.

"But I want to keep going." You say to Stephanie. Surely it hadn't been that long since you started and since she is here she can get more swords.

"You don't have any classes." She said back.

"Huh? Yes I do." You answer not sure what she was talking about.

"No you don't. You've been removed from the academy." Stephanie said it matter of factly and Three stopped walking.

"What why?" You were utterly lost was this some method of training or something.

"The day you dueled Lady Cynthia what did I tell you afterwards about losing?" Stephanie walked towards you and you noticed she had her dagger and a new sword at her hips with hands hovering near them, so it was training.

"I don't remember." You aren't armed but and you are weaker than normal but you can probably still survive any conflict.

"I said should you lose any fight I will have you removed from the academy. You lost to Asune."

"What?" You half laughed out not sure you were following.

"I made the rules clear." Stephanie came to a stop with in swords reach of you and rested her hands on the hilts of her weapons.

"But." you look into her eyes and at her aura, it still made your eyes itch a little but not much, she was serious. A new feeling came upon you quickly replacing your excitement, indignation. "That's not fair. You stopped the duel!" You turned to face her and saw Three standing by the edge of the training ground watching.

"I said regardless of the reason. You lost you broke the rule."

"That isn't fair." You said again as you indignation grew. "I could have won."

"You won't hurt her."

"I did hurt her! We dueled yesterday and I broke her arm!" You shouted feeling your magic rising to meet your indingation, moving through your body making everything itch just as your eyes had. Stephanie's aura flickered in a very controlled manner behind her back. Three saw it too and backed away slowly.

You remembered something Clare had made sure you heard. The Queen being told you can be killed if taken off guard, Stephanie would be best option to try and do that. As if feeling your concern your magic flows even freer coating your body getting ready for you to fight for you life if needed.

"Why are you here?" Stephanie asked as she prepared to draw her weapons.

You can't feel anyone around you but you aren't sure if that is because there is no one, they are hiding themselves, or you just can't control your magic enough to find them. There is a hiss from the ground as the sand starts to melt into glass beneath your feet. "What?"

"If you can tell me why you are here I will reinstate you."

"Because I always practice in the morning." You answer as you indignation moves closer to anger. "Stop trying to distract me." The ground becomes unstable as it melts further and you have to use magic to hold yourself still which liquefies more sand.

"No why are you at the Academy, why attend my classes?"

"BECAUSE YOU SAID I WOULD BE REMOVED IF I DIDN'T ATTEND!" You shout at her. the magic coursing through you amplifying your voice making her hair and clothes flutter under the **** of your words.

"You came here thinking you were weak and now you know are strong so why are you staying here?" She let go of her weapons and you saw her hand shake. It was a little thing that you thought for an instant was some coded gesture to signal an attack but none came. You looked at her aura again and, she was scared, scared of you.

That, that isn't what want. You don't want people to be scared of you. And what was her question? Why were you here? You were here because you wanted ... because you thought you weren't ... to make your dad proud because you thought you were a disappointment? But you weren't, he'd paid people to lie to you, to make you think you were weak. So why stay, there were some classes you learned from but not really, you already knew everything you were being taught, expect by Stephanie. You were in a game the might result in a fight so you had to know how to fight but you didn't want to, you didn't want to fight anybody much less hurt someone.

So you were here for Anastasia then. But no, you didn't really feel all that strongly about her, she was using you as a tool for her ambition you weren't real friends. Then for your other friends and ... friend and lovers, well not really you didn't know anyone that well beyond Edin. So you were here for him then ...

Why were you still here? You were powerful and knowledgeable, you could just go anywhere. You didn't have any actual goal anymore, you came here to prove you were more than just below average but you never needed to do that. The only goals you have are other peoples, win the game for Clare and help Anastasia become queen. Neither of those were you're goals.

"Huh." The word escaped you as the indignation feel and your magic with it. "I don't know." You said looking at Stephanie and seeing the fear clearly on it. How hadn't you seen that. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to, what happened to me?" This wasn't right, you had just abandoned both Edin and Vatarie in your room, Vatarie who had probably gone their to find you for your date only for to have passed out before it, after going on a date with Asune. And Edin who was probably really worried about you.

"You burned through your magic." Stephanie said letting out a shaky breath. "Most kids do that at some point and as their magic recovers it is wilder than usual, like burning off old growth on a field and new growth sprouting from it." She backs away from you carefully. "Don't use any magic for a few days."

"Oh ok. I'm sorry." You let the rest of your magic go, it still feels like it wants to be used but not as much. "About being removed." Stephanie's hand returns to her sword so she was serious and still scared of you. "Oh. I think, I need to sit down." You walk to the viewing stand and clumsily fall onto it. The training field is in ruins. The ground is covered in metal slag and split iron swords, the sand around where you had been is melted and bubbling, as you look at the stand you can even see the wood of the stands is charred.

"If you can tell me why you want to be here I will let you in but you must have a reason that isn't fear or someone else." Stephanie said keeping a close eye on you but looking less afraid. "If you only have the intentions of others driving you you can never succeed."