Vulnerability and Backstepping

It took a while for Kira to calm down enough to actually have a conversation. The whole situation was surreal to Ahsch. The last thing I expected was for a horny, arrogant bitch to break down crying after admitting to being a cunt. And I didn't think she'd be truly sincere about it, but... from the way she was phrasing things, her tone... Confusion aside, the hrafthi was nearly blushing from how uncomfortable he was, comforting someone he (thought he) hated. Maybe I was stupid about this whole thing.

"I... I'm sorry..."

Ahsch almost jumped when Kira finally spoke. "N-no, that's..." He sighed, carefully running his fingers through his hair, and squeezing down the length of one specific feather as he went. "I... always thought that open, honest communication was the best policy when it came to... stuff like this, but clearly I need to practice what I preach. I didn't mean to hurt... well, okay, I'll admit, I wanted to get a bit of ****, but I didn't want to cause you _this _much pain. I... uh..."

"Not what you expected?" the girl asked with a broken-sounding laugh. Ahsch grunted a negative. "I... your commands are insidious, I said that before. They get in your head and make you think about how good it would be to obey, and... a few hours in the Canyon with some embarrassing commands was nothing compared to a day stewing in the humiliation of... well, all this."

Ahsch felt a clench in his chest and stomach. Guilt. "Fuck," he sighed, almost too quiet for anyone else to hear. He took a deep breath, thinking, then nodded to himself. "Okay... okay." He looked at Kira, though she only stared towards his shoulder, a sort of defeated look on her face. "I didn't mean for things to go this way," he reiterated. "I admit I wanted to... get back at you for being so frustrating and hard to deal with, but I didn't want... this." He gestured, indicating the current situation. "So... well, I guess there's really not much to do."

Carefully, the hrafthi stood, making sure the girl in his lap ended up on her feet, then gently held her at arms length for a second before letting go. "I rescind any and all orders currently on you. I'll try to figure out how to undo this fucking bond, and until then I'll keep my distance and avoid giving you any more orders... oh, and, uh... you have blanket permission to..." he felt his face burning red. "To cum whenever you want, however you want, and as much as you want."

He met her startled, almost disbelieving face. "Did I forget anything?"

Kira stared at him for a moment longer, then seemed to startle, and looked away, thinking. "Er... n-no? I don't think... when you way you'll keep your distance..."

Ahsch huffed a short laugh, just short of being a snort. "I'm not going to potentially cause problems for this whole... _thing _by guiding you on expeditions. I think, unless and until I figure out how to break the bond or if you... well, until the bond is broken, we should probably keep away from each other."

Again, Kira simply stared for a moment. "...oh," she said, sounding surprised and... disappointed?

No, that's silly, Ahsch berated himself. Wishful thinking.

There was awkward silence for a moment, before Mahat stood from the bed. "I'll escort you out, Miss Starr," she said, then led the still-dazed-looking girl out.

Once they had left and the door closed behind them, Ahsch collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh, and Ariin gently cuddled up with him. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," he nodded. Then paused. "No?" He sighed again and laid back, his sister lying down with him. "I don't know. That wasn't... I didn't..."

The petite hrafthi giggled softly at her brother's indecision. "I know," she murmured. "Maybe she deserved it, but that felt less like 'getting back,' and more like... well..."

"Taking advantage," Ahsch growled, disgusted with himself. "If I had kept going, it was taking advantage of a **** girl."

Ariin nodded. "She's definitely... troubled. And with what I've heard - and seen - of her, I doubt she has many real friends."

The brother nodded as well. "I almost... no, I _do _feel sorry for her. And I sort of want to help her, but..."

"But that's a bigger job than just being her friend." Another nod from the boy. "You'd have to help her completely change her personality, get rid of the bitchiness. That's a lot of work."

"If she even wants to."

"If she even wants to," Ariin agreed. "Honestly, given what I know of her, I think you're doing the right thing here. You have enough to figure out without needing to deal with her problems."

Ahsch made a face. "On the one hand, I agree. But at the same time, Phashak said she'd be watching me, and to not disappoint her... and I feel like effectively throwing away part of her 'reward' to me is _not _how you gain favor with a divine being."

"Didn't you say she probably wasn't dangerous?"

"'Not dangerous' and 'not a problem' are two _very _different things. And I'm honestly not a fan of a goddess deciding to be a problem for me." He huffed a laugh that was just short of being a snort. "Hells, I'm not a fan of a god deciding to be _anything _regarding me!"

His sister giggled. "Oh? But, brother dear, what makes you think that the gods wouldn't decide some way on you?" She held up a hand and began to count off fingers. "You're a hrafthi boy who was reincarnated, who has a twin sister, and a bunch of weird Boons and Innate Spells - not to mention Life Resistance and immortality, of a sort - has an insane growth rate, and who said no to a goddess." She held up six fingers. "Am I missing anything?

"...I had the same number for every magical stat, and my weirdness rubbed off on you in the womb, I guess."

Smirking, Ariin raised a seventh and eighth finger. "Now, explain to me, given all that, with your potential to become a god yourself - why the fuck wouldn't the gods take an interest in you? What did you say Phashak called you?"

Ahsch opened his mouth to reply, but the door opened first, admitting Mahat. "Little godling," she answered for her Master, before going to sit behind him and embrace him. "Which is slightly insulting for our Master, but appropriate when considering the vast gulf that separates him from Phashak."

The sister nodded. "I think you just count your blessings it was Phashak - who has a reputation for being apathetic towards mortals and the 'politicking' of the gods - who you met first, and not, say, Darshun."

The boy shivered and made a warding sign - making a fist with his index finger unbent at the last knuckle, his thumb crossed over it and touching the tip of his extended middle finger, then touching his forehead - at the name of the Bloodox God of **** and Cruelty. Then he froze, considering. "I'm... unique on Euphoria - being a hrafthi male, that is," he slowly thought out.

His girls frowned. "Yes...?" Ariin answered.

He looked up, dropping the warding sign. "A bloodox is a beast, but Darshun," he warded again, "is usually depicted as a taruine _man _of some description, is he not?"

His sister's eyes widened, and Ahsch could sense Mahat's feelings of anxious contemplation. "You're not implying... that Darshun was once like... well, like you, are you?"

"Not just Darshun," Mahat murmured. "Many - most - male gods are believed to be non-human in form. It was always though thought that they were just... different, than the sentient mortal races, but..."

"But what if they once were mortals?" Ahsch suggested. "Phashak is a dragon... and I can't believe I didn't realize this, but when I met her, I got an... impression of what she looked like. She was much like she's shown in art and stories, a blue-green-colored dragon woman... but I also saw her as a beast dragon too."