Under the coffee table

Elaine would NEVER expect you to fit under the coffee table. It will be a feat, even for you! Brimming with confidence, you go prone beside the coffee table and start to crawl underneath, shimmying your narrow hips and causing your bubble butt to jiggle slightly as you go. It’s that very same butt of yours that gets caught on the coffee table. You have GOT to be kidding… Why does Elaine like this big stupid ass? It causes you nothing but problems! Skinny jeans or coffee tables, it’s all the same…

“Here I come!” Elaine calls out. Oh no! In a panic, you reach back and press down on your butt, inching forward frantically until you barely manage to fit. Releasing your ass, {if@ Times Caught > 2}it springs up with **** and presses your cheeks against the cold bottom of the table. If only your girlfriend wasn’t a dirty panty-snatcher, you’d at least have some fabric back there…{else}your cheeks pop up against the coffee table with nothing but your panties covering them. The constant pressure against your bottom has you packed under here like a sardine…{endif}

Before long, you hear Elaine enter the room, and she immediately walks over to the table like some laser-guided missile. There’s no way. There’s no way she’d know you were under here right away, right?

“Chloe,” Elaine says in her typical lecturing voice. She doesn’t know though, she can’t possibly know. If you replied now, you’d just give yourself away. It’s a clever ruse but you won’t fall for it.

“Chloe. This table is four and a half feet wide. Tell me Chloe, are you four and a half feet tall?”

Urk! Does that mean your feet are stretching out from under the table? Oh god, what a miscalculation! You’ll never live this down!

“No…” you reply dejectedly.

“Very good Chloe. Now get out of there, you look ridiculous.”

You start to slide out from under the table, but you don’t get very far with the resistance your ass is putting up. Are you stuck? Seriously? Elaine’s going to get the satisfaction of seeing you like this?

“What’s the matter, dear? You’re not under the impression that I’ll go away if you stay under there long enough, are you?” Elaine chuckles.

You face burns with embarrassment while you exercise your right to remain silent, but as you begin to desperately claw at the floor, your situation becomes clear to Elaine.

“You… Are you stuck under there? Do you need a hand?” Elaine drops to her knees to see just how stuck you are. “Oh… my… god… That cute, smackable ass of yours is not budging a single inch, is it?”

Blood rushes to your face, turning your cheeks scarlet as you struggle with all your might, finally managing to free yourself.

“What a shame…” Elaine laments. “I was planning on cutting a hole in the table so I could rest my feet on your butt as I watched TV.”

“That’s obviously not happening!” you yell back.