Under the bed

In a very exciting and intense way, fitting of your action-filled lifestyle, you go for a home run slide under the bed! …Not really. That would be a bit too much carpet burn for your liking. Also your lifestyle isn’t very action-filled at all.

You carefully slide yourself under Elaine’s bed, and not for the first time. You’ve been under here before, looking for whatever shameful magazines or toys she might be hiding. There were none. Your girlfriend might be the only human being on the planet with nothing underneath her bed. Well, nothing besides a Chloe. Ehehe…

It takes a few minutes for Elaine to enter the room, and even when she does, she pokes around at several other places first. It sounds like she’s almost about to leave when she stops, turns around and checks under the bed to find you.

She smiles warmly as she says, “I had put it past you at first. I didn’t think you’d choose such a childish location. Yet here you are, like a monster under the bed.” Is she making fun of you? She’s definitely making fun of you!

“Don’t you pick on me for my hiding spot, you old hag!” you fire back. Color drains from her face and her eyes go out of focus. It looks like she’s about to cry. Crap, you forgot she’s self-conscious about her age! She’s only a few years older than you though, so why is she like this!? “Uh, just kidding! It’s only natural for a jokester like me to pick a childish hiding spot every once in a while, right?”

Elaine’s face brightens up immediately. “Oh yes, kidding, right! Chloe, your whimsical nature is always a breath of fresh air.” You both laugh nervously. Crisis averted… right?