Try sticking something ELSE inside

A moment of stray inspiration hits you.

You drop your backpack to the floor and starts rummaging through until you find.. your lunch. Half eaten, slightly soggy, yet if you recall correctly..

"HaHA!"

You pull out a large, pickled cucumber; not exactly your idea of appertizing, but perhaps now you can find some other use for it. You hold it critically in front of your crotch.. seems largely right.

With much trepidation you slowly insert it inside the brass figurine. Instantly you almost feel it get pulled frem your hand by an intense suction from the metal lips. The sound of rushing wind passing the still wet pickle creates an obscene slurping sound.

With a grunt of effort you try pull the cucumber free.

Thslslslssshhhrrriiiiiip..

You fall on your ass, above you the sucking sound continues for a good 5 seconds, then the head waits quietly.

You stare down at the mangled, broken end of your surrugate penis. Thank gods it was only a vegetable.