Time to begin!

I wake in a grass field and the first thought I have is:

I think I’m gonna freeze to ****. I panic as dew drops onto my very vertical blobby form. Each drop that hits burns. In a gut reaction I think ‘Status!’

…

and nothing happens. I follow up, running on the slime-equivalent of adrenaline. ‘Menu, stats, spreadsheet, powers, skills, statspread, assistance, help, etc’ I freaked out more as each option failed. In a blind grasp I felt something inside of me react.

There was a core within my soul, it crackled and hummed with power. Arcs of electricity came out of it. I pulled at the energy with the core in desperation.

A nova of electricity exploded out from around me. The grass was blown away or the water was evaporated from the blades. I felt the sun hit me and the frozen bits of my body reheat.

Although, why is there MULTIPLE THINGS IN THE SKY? I freak out and flatten myself against the ground out of slime instinct. I maneuver my slime organs(demon kings heart beats in the center, with a golden eyeball(likely god’s eye)) I attempt to turn gods eye in on myself to no avail as I unflatten myself. There’s also a funky little mass that always sinks to the bottom of me.

‘gods eye’

…

Then how THE FUCK am I supposed to look at my OWN STATS???

(the sound of a person gargling an entire baking soda volcano while playing the bagpipes is heard for nearly a kilometer, as a newly born being screams in rage.)

I am a calm and rational slime, I am a calm and rational slime, IAM A BEING OF HATRED AND a calm and rational slime.

Distract myself, there’s a forest to the north, as well as a mountain range to the northwest. I take a deep breath(with what lungs?) and begin moving towards the forest, normally there’s creatures there to practice on in these types of stories.

I slide my blue slimy butt towards the forest. Maybe I could find a river.