The brunette.

"Gotcha!" Larry tried to keep his miniature operation low-key as he glanced down into the backpack to see the brunette girl successfully scanned and registered. That was close. At first, he'd thought he'd hit the samoyed that surfer-looking dude was walking by one of those big flower pots. Never considered if the modulating ray worked on animals. Maybe another experiment for another day.

He spotted a gear icon next to the menu emblem, and next to that, a generic outlined silhouette of the top half of a human.

Shittin' manual didn't explain shit. Grumbling to himself, he improvised, and pressed on it. To his satisfaction, it drew up exactly what he hoped: a list of pre-scanned subjects. Thumbnails of his sister and her friend, the convenience store girl, and himself were all in there. This might just work...

He pressed on his thumbnail, and was taken to his own profile. Larry McNeal. Sign: Pisces. Favorite food: spicy buffalo wings. Yadda-yadda. Man. Exactly what didn't this thing know?!

Whatever. Shoot first, ask questions later, as a terrorist would say, or something.

He found the gear icon, and when pressed, hit the jackpot.

"Add."

His finger tapped the screen. A second later, he was taken back to the main relationship modulating menu. Before him were the profiles of his new slim bodied subject, Amber Hudson, and himself -- just as it had presumably been between him and his new sugar mama from about a half hour or so ago. Right now, their current relationship status read: STRANGER.

"Alright," he breathed, "let's do this."

Just as he was about to bring down the relationship list, he paused, glancing their way. Maybe he should try changing up their little dynamic up a bit. He's tried two at a time, so far. Could he do three?

How would that even work?

How does any of this work, anyway?

So many questions, so little customer service could do, especially since there was no such thing as customer service for this so called special limited edition, minimally manufactured experimental product that was probably technically semi-illegal.

Friken thing didn't even have a refund policy.