The Planet Of The Malls

Steve grabbed the edge of the console as it lurched, the TARDIS creaking to a halt 'somewhere fun'. It felt like the ship was resisting it, that it found the idea of going somewhere 'fun' rather frivolous.

The ship lurched as Steve tried to send it to one destination while the ship tried to send it to another, an angry buzz coming from the console. The whole ship rocked for a second, the motion sending one of his now-immense titties to hit him in the chin. "Ouch!" he giggled, rubbing at his chin, "Well, these funbags certainly will take time to get used to." Wandering around the console to another screen, he leaned closer, his tits dangling pendulously as he did. "Now, wherever are we..."

The screen showed the exterior view, that of a planet of sweeping plateaus and cliffs, every available flat surface seemingly covered with a... strip mall? Weird. The TARDIS sat atop a building's vast vast roof, the mall looming over what had to be at least five other megamalls, each with roofs appointed with artificial beaches and pools, cocktail bars and the like, "Well, this is more like it," she laughed, pulling a supplementary screen down and futzing with buttons and levers.

'Destination: Year 8,008; planet Apconsin IV." Despite his predicament, trapped in this busty English mockery of a bikini model, Steve couldn't help but smile, the effect altogether different on Kate's radiantly beautiful features. He'd time travelled! To an alien world! "Oh, smashing!" she grinned. As the neural web integrated with her now-Time Lord brain, she didn't need to read the screen so much, just innately knowing what the TARDIS's programs 'said'. "A human-colonised world, Apconsin IV is renowned across the cosmos for being the best shopping experience in the universe." The beauty queen let out a little squee of delight. Shopping?! This new body seemed to relish the prospect. Well, he'd found one thing he liked now that he hadn't before, at least.

After wandering up a mile of meandering corridor, eventually after 25 minutes Steve found the wardrobe, a room large enough to draw the envy of any mall back on Earth 2024, even if it was dwarfed in comparison by Apconsin IV. After another 45, the new woman stomped back into the console room, rolling her eyes. She'd been **** to stuff her hefty hangers into a tight black top, a pair of matching shorts with a big bow completing the look. But despite objectively looking incredibly cute, something felt... wrong. And not just,

"No bras in my size? A wardrobe that size, and nothing at all?" Steve complained to the TARDIS as he walked back up to the console to put it into park before he ventured outside. He paused, as if he could hear the other side of a conversation. "Well, I didn't initiate the regeneration, nor did I ask for such tremendous fat yabbos," she sighed, still not noticing her inability to just say something genteel like 'breasts'. "Well, I suppose at least I can get a fitting here."

Exasperated, Steve leaned her hands on the edge of the console. "Look, I appreciate your concerns but if I'm the pilot, I decide on the destin- what do you mean 'you can buy anything here'?" She must have looked mad, as if talking to the air. "Why would I purchase a name?" Steve shrugged. He supposed it was right, he couldn't go gallivanting around time and space calling himself Steve. Hell, he couldn't go around with tits like these calling himself Steve. "Alright, does that sound like a fair compromise? I'll add them to my shopping list, shall I? Now, I presume this jalopy has a credit card..."

The sun shone in Steve's face as he stepped out of the TARDIS, warmth beating down on his face. The rooftop was busy, young and beautiful people circulating and drinking cocktails, every man a muscular beach stud, every woman busty (although, Steve gratifyingly noted, none so busty as him) and in swimwear. He drew some looks, but nothing suspicious. Turning, she noticed that this TARDIS worked, no police box exterior for him, it had blended into the roof by turning into what looked like a maintenance duct with a locked door to deter anyone who even noticed it.

"Right, pish-posh, enough dilly-dallying!" She clapped her hands together, accosting the nearest young woman. "Excuse me, I'm new here."

"New here?" The redheaded girl had a neoprene pink bikini on, and a thick Valley girl accent. "Like, wow, we don't see a lot of new faces. Did you, like, come from another mall?"

"Something like that, darling," Steve said brusquely in his clipped English rose tones. "Now, can you direct me to..." He briefly considered his shopping list. "Well, I'm in need of lingerie, and apparently you can buy a name here?"

The girl giggled. "Oh, now that explains it. Deltavox Mall has the most cost-effective name stores in the quadrant!" Steve ended up following her directions, the mall so large that it took a walk of 3 miles down promenades and stairwells and escalators. All the people looked happy as they shopped in endless rows of shops selling endless ranges of alien products. Most of the people were humans, skewed to younger but there were elderly couples shopping, mothers trailing screaming kids, and aliens of every colour and stripe. Steve had to suppress a squee as he passed an alien like a large bipedal elephant, its trunk scooping popcorn out of a large container and into its waiting mouth.

Steve's heart jumped again as he turned into the lingerie store the girl had recommended. It looked like any lingerie store on Earth, muzak playing in the background as racks and racks and shelves of women's things filled the small space. A part of Steve felt an illicit thrill of excitement at getting a chance to rummage through them, but the thrill was kind of ruined by... well, he was a woman, it wasn't quite as sexy when he felt the back twinges he was already getting from lacking support. But what truly made his heart jump was the store assistant, standing at what had to be 7' tall, scarlet hair running from a cerulean face, looking for all the world like a tall blue woman with four arms, each pair seemingly working away at unrelated tasks before the alien looked up.

"Ah, sorry, didn't see you there!" the alien greeted her. "I'm Velavilia, what's your name, madam?"

Steve blanched, before remembering, yup, he was a madam, and he was trying to buy bras. "Oh, uh, well that's part of what I'm here to buy. But first, I was," she gestured at her chest, "hoping for a fitting."

"Oh of course!" The alien pulled her into the back, chatting away merrily as she fitted a bra. Steve was more amazed to find he wasn't especially embarrassed, peeling off his top to reveal his huge womanly rack. Velavilia let out a low whistle, measuring with a tape measure with one set of hands while reaching for some high shelves with the other. "Wowee, girl, you've certainly been blessed. These things are massive!"

Steve blushed, batting away the praise with a dismissive gesture. "Oh, uh well... They're a fairly recent development."

"Say no more, say no more. New body, new name, I get it." The chatty alien kept gabbing as she carried out some measurements, "You know, you really must go to Vilavolio's for a name, he's the best in town. 100% satisfaction rate."

Awkwardly chatting as Velavilia's hands lifted up her tits from behind, relieving some of the weight, Steve dropped in a question. "Well, I admit, I don't fully understand the whole buying a name, thing, like, couldn't I just come up with one?"

Velavilia clicked her tongue. "Well, you could, but the idea of buying one is..." She paused momentarily to consider. "I mean, can you come up with a name with 100% satisfaction rate? Will you change a few times? Will other people adopt it? Purchasing a name means having a curated name that you will love, even if you'd never have considered it for yourself, and even better, you and others'll soon overcome any doubts over it due to the psychic field that just makes people accept the name as normal in 99% of cases."

Steve pursed her lips. Well, it did track with how names like The Doctor worked. Must be why the TARDIS wanted it rather than inventing one, with a new name, nobody'd be able to track him back to Steve McKenzie and take him out and cause a paradox. But as he was thinking, the shop assistant couldn't help but exclaim again, "But really girl, I'm so jealous. I dunno how you came by your new body, but damn, these titties."

He giggled. "Well, I'm not especially used to them yet."

"Gurl!" The alien clicked with all four fingers simultaneously. "If I had," she leaned closer, "30GG tits, I'd be a lot happier about it." Steve's eyes went wide. He knew he was busty, but hearing someone else say it aloud... "You know, here on Apconsin IV, we've got a way of doing these things. Just say aloud how much you like something three times. By the third repetition, you either know if you don't like it, or don't want to buy it. Or often, you'll be surprised at how much enthusiasm is on the third repetition. Wanna try it?"

"Um... I guess..." Steve stood awkwardly, glancing down at his topless torso. "I, uh, I like my big boobs," she said, somewhat unconvincingly. It did... feel sorta right, though. Awkward, but was there anything so wrong with liking his own body? He was stuck with it, after all.

"C'mon, you can do better than that! Again, with gusto!"

Steve took a deep breath inward, his chest rising and falling as he exhaled out, "I like my giant hefty knockers!" he said loudly, surprising himself with the volume and content of his words. OK, that one felt good. What was the shame in it? He was an immortal babe, who wouldn't be happy with that?

The blue alien crowed, "C'mon, one more, let me hear you!"

Without hesitation this time, Steve felt a bubbly giggle escape his lips. His hand groped his lewd tits, bouncing them as he found himself giggling again, pulling shoulders back, tits forward and yelling, "Fuck, I love my slutty big fat melons, I love them, I love them," he let go and begun bouncing them, "I LOVE MY BIMBO BOOBIES!" A hand came up to his mouth. Holy shit, that felt amazing!

"See? Self-love works," Velavilia laughed. Steve spent another hour in that store, coming out with four bags filled with lingerie and swimwear in his size, paying for it with the mysterious credit card the TARDIS had issued him. Velavilia ushered him off, "Now remember what I told you," she chided, "Love your body, recommend my store to your friends, and go get that new name from Vilavolio!"