The Most Eligible Bachelor

"Whoa!" Brooke exclaimed as Jack Hartburn dipped her down low to finish the dazzling dance with her. Breathing rapidly, the dark-haired woman completed her reassessment of the school principal.

Perhaps my first impression was wrong. He's very handsome and quite charming. A damn fine dancer too. There is even a little of that swagger I find appealing. Still, he's the school principal. Can't I find someone more successful? Not that money is everything, but it would make things even more complicated with Heather if I went out on a date with him.

"You're an excellent dancer, Ms. Lakefield. Perhaps later, you would allow me the pleasure of another turn on the dance floor," Jack fished with a smirk that Brooke found intriguing.

"Perhaps if you ask later, I might say yes," Brooke replied in a flirty tone. Did I just say that? I guess so. "And it's Brooke, not Ms. Lakefield, Principal Hartburn."

"I'd say the same, but I enjoy a good-looking woman calling me that," Jack winked, but the line fell flat with the successful businesswoman.

Eww! That's not what I wanted to hear. The guy probably will find it kinky that my daughter is his student.

"Well, I need to get back to my friends," she abruptly informed him. Walking over toward Kimberly, Brooke heard the end of Ryan Skoug, the business teacher, attempting to get another dance with the platinum blonde, right that minute.

"I'm sorry, I seemed to have injured my ankle."

"You don't seem to be limping. What's wrong?" Ryan inquired.

"It's an internal pain. And it seems to be moving toward my ass," Kimberly said, already turning to face her approaching friend.

"Maybe I can massage that pain away," the teacher pressed.

"I doubt you'd do anything but make it worse," she replied over her shoulder. "I so need another drink," Kimberly told Brooke.

"Me too."

The two women made their way several feet over to the front bar. A much younger crowd filled the area, compared to the over-thirty mixer in the back of The Copper Lantern. Many of the twentysomething men clocked the approaching women. They liked what they saw in the two women they considered cougars, flocking over to surround them. Multiple offers of drinks rang out. Kimberly delighted in the attention as a few looked to be college-aged, her favorite kind of man. On the other hand, Brooke wasn't at all thrilled by the attention. She had desperately wanted to avoid this sort of a meat market for the night.

"Isn't this great?" the platinum blonde asked, cupping one guy's ass, but holding back the squeeze. Leaning over, she whispered into her friend's ear. "Who needs Green Hills to find a row of young, hard cocks? I think we might have found some prospects."

Kimberly turned away, taking a few steps toward the bar to accept a couple of drinks.

"Mrs. Ravers?" one college-aged man gasped in shock.

"Fuck," Brooke muttered under her breath. I absolutely did not want to be seen here by someone I used to know that would call me that. "It's Ms. Lakefield these days," she informed the young man with messy blond hair and brown eyes, who looked at her in awe.

"Right, right, I'm sorry. It's just...I still think of you by that name," he gushed out in embarrassment. "I thought you looked familiar earlier, but it took me a while to figure out why."

"Ooh, who's your handsome friend, Brooke?" Kimberly questioned, liking the look of him.

"Um, I'm not sure," Brooke told her friend. Turning toward the now frowning young man, she apologized. "I'm sorry, but I can't quite remember your name."

"It's Carl; Carl Miller. Sharon's brother."

"Oh! My apologies, Carl. Of course, I remember you; it's been a few years," Brooke exclaimed, giving him a half-hug. "Kimberly, this is Kathryn Miller's son and Sharon's brother. You know, Heather's good friend."

"The redhead? Ooh, I like your sister. She's got a great attitude. Much more up my alley than your mom's," Kimberly nudged her friend. "Maybe I should've taken the little redhead out as my wingman tonight."

"How have you been, Carl? In school?" Brooke asked, more curious than normal as talking to him might keep the vultures at bay.

"Just community college classes. I opened up my auto shop a few years back with my friend. You probably never met Matt Richardson."

"No, I can't say I ever did. But I do recall your mother mentioning you opened a business, around the time you started," Brooke politely stated. She ignored bringing up how severely disappointed his mother was about him skipping college. I really should call Kathryn; it's been ages since we last talked. She always gets so wrapped up in work projects.

"Did I hear my name called?" a muscular young man with a shaved head asked. The accompanying grin already put off the two older women. They knew his type from experience.

"Oh, uh, this is Matt, my business partner," Carl introduced. "And this is Heather Ravers' mom and her friend. Uh, Kim, right?"

"Nice memory, kid. It looks like I made an impression on him," Kimberly nudged Brooke again.

"And why wouldn't you?" Matt questioned, blatantly checking out the short, pale-skinned woman. His eyes next swung over to do the same to Brooke. "Yep, I can see a whole of you in Heather, in certain places."

"Dude!" Carl hissed at his friend. Then glancing in embarrassment on Brooke, he gently pushed his friend back. "Go back over by Shawn. You don't act like that around ladies like them."

"Please, cougars want it just as bad as little kittens," Matt spat back. "The blonde looks like trouble, and I like that."

"Go!" Carl pushed harder.

Matt started to argue until he caught sight of another gorgeous woman entering The Copper Lantern. This one had silver hair. "Maybe I'll bag me a different blue blood," Matt snarled at Carl.

He, along with the two women, watched as Matt made his ill-fated move toward Fiona Wynwick. Whatever pick-up line he used, didn't go over well as the chairwoman of the largest charity in Azure Rocks, showed little charity in her reply. Whatever she said, it caused Matt to put up his hands in calming motion, and flee from her.

"Um, I'm sorry about that. He gets a little surly when he drinks," Carl apologized to Brook and Kimberly. "I've learned that going into business with a friend isn't always the wisest move."

"Sometimes, you need to learn firsthand those bits of wisdom," Brooke responded, feeling some sympathy for him.

"Well, it's was great seeing you again. Um, have a Happy Valentine's Day," Carl told them. Turning, he went to go find his friends and scold Matt.

"Maybe you should take that one home for the night," Kimberly suggested. "I think somebody had a teenage crush on you."

"Kimmie!" Brooke shrieked in horror. "I might not be as close to his mother anymore, but she's still a friend. And his sister is one of Heather's best friends."

"That's what makes it hot!"

Ignoring the comment, Brooke took note of the scene near the front entrance. "It looks like you lost some of your suitors to Fiona."

"Wait, is she leaving?" Kimberly asked as the silver-haired woman took a couple of steps back toward the door.

Her guess proved wrong as Fiona Wynwick motioned toward another person out of sight to come inside. Finally, the door opened, revealing a man with film-star looks that reluctantly stepped inside the pub. A murmur sprang up in the crowd, especially amongst the women.

"Holy shit, she brought Ian Thirlby!" Kimberly gasped.

"Leave it to Fiona to make a grand entrance," Brooke shook her head.

"Y-you don't think they're together, do you?" Kimberly asked, fearing the answer as her heart and pussy fluttered.

"Fiona and Ian? No way. They avoided any attempts at that matchmaking by their family and friends years ago. They're just friends."

"Good! I want a shot at him," the platinum blonde stated with a hunger in her voice.

"You do know that Ian's not interested in one-night stands. He's looking for Mrs. Right," Brooke reminded her friend. The recently divorced one who wanted to play the field.

"Shit, for someone that damn handsome, I'd strongly consider jumping back into a marriage," Kimberly stated, looking incredulously at her friend. "Wouldn't you?"

Brooke didn't answer but watched the man considered by many the most eligible bachelor in Azure Rocks. At thirty-four-years-old, Ian Thirlby had short, light brown hair, emerald green eyes with a tall, fit frame. He had the dashing good looks of a classic Hollywood star and the life-story of one too. Everyone in town knew the tale of how his beloved college fiancée took a job upon graduating college that required her to spend a year in Europe. While Ian began his career as an architect in Azure Rocks and planned their wedding, she found herself seduced by a wealthy businessman. Heartbroken at the betrayal, Ian swore off women for years. He rarely dated, and when he did, it never went to a second date. Still, despite everything, he kept up a positive, friendly attitude towards every other aspect of his life. Women yearned to fix his broken heart.

Standing next to Ian was another thirty-four-year-old, and his sister-in-law's sister, and a distant cousin of his as well. Fiona Wynwick's long, wavy silver hair revealed her heritage to all that knew her family's reputation. People throughout Azure Rocks knew of the Wynwicks' rare genetic condition that resulted in very premature graying hair. Many citizens often had to explain to outsiders why there were so many attractive young men and women with gray or silver hair in town. Fiona was an extraordinarily beautiful woman, who had gray eyes, large breasts, and a toned athletic figure with a matching ass. Similar to the man's arm she took, Fiona had a lover's tale of woe. Seduced and impregnated at the age of sixteen by the gold digger, Quentin Stride, she'd dealt with the backlash that her image-conscious family felt over the embarrassing situation. Written off by many relatives and their friends, Fiona started an organization to help single parents. She helped so many people that she found herself beloved in Azure Rocks. So much so, that she shocked many by winning the election for the new chairperson of the Wynwick Foundation, several years back.

Despite the century-old rivalry between the Wynwicks and the Raverses, her ex-husband's family, Brooke attempted to maintain a cordial relationship with Fiona. They often saw each other at various fundraisers and civic events. Now, watching the two attractive people approach, she mused at how much of a shame it was that they never found love together. Fiona and Ian would make a perfect couple in many ways. But I guess having their siblings married to each other would make it feel weird, as in almost incestuous.

"Brooke, I see they managed to con you into coming to this thing as well," Fiona greeted before inquiring about it. "So, how is this mixer?"

"A whole lot of lonely, **** people," Kimberly responded first. "I think you two will be quite popular."

"What?!" Ian exclaimed in alarm. Not a single part of him wanted to come to this mixer, but he gave into Fiona's badgering.

"It's not that bad!" Brooke hurriedly attempted to soothe the two newest arrivals. She didn't have her eye on Ian, but having him and Fiona around would give her more people to chat with.

"No, you're staying, Ian," Fiona insisted, keeping a firm grip on his arm. "One never knows when love will strike."

"You better not tell that Chastity that line. She's trying like mad to match people up," Kimberly remarked.

"Chastity Kupp? Robert's receptionist?" Fiona asked.

"The same. Somehow Sarah Woodsen managed to snag her and Audrey's assistant, Tamsin, to run this thing that her daughter came up with," Brooke revealed.

"Everyone seems younger than I expected," Ian remarked, scanning the young women who eyed him up hungrily.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing," Fiona commented, pleased with the younger choices in men.

"You and me, we're on the same page," Kimberly pointed at Fiona and then to herself.

"No, the mixer is in the back room. This is the regular crowd out here," Brooke explained. "Actually, we should probably head back, or the rest of the girls will get pissed that we abandoned them."

"Yes, let's go see this hastily planned mixer. It can't be too bad," Fiona told Ian.

---

"Silly rabbit! I didn't say Cupid Says," Chastity Kupp informed the failed contestant in the Valentine's Day version of Simon Says. "I'm sorry wolly, but you're out of the game."

"Oh, drats!" Wanda Zee faked disappointment. "I guess I'll be lonely for another year. Maybe I should finally buy that cat."

"Don't give up yet!" Chastity urged in a panic. To help Wanda keep hope, she hugged the school nurse. "I'll find a man for you. I promise! You can be my pet project for the night!"

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that, Miss Kupp," Wanda protested, realizing that she screwed up. "There are so many other lonely, and much older people here that need to find love first. Don't waste your time with me."

"By Robin's Hood! Cupid gave me plenty of arrows for my quiver of love," Chastity replied, miming herself pulling out an arrow from behind her back, and shooting it across the room. "I'll find you a man as soon as this game is over."

"Shit," Wanda mumbled, wandering over to the bar.

"Screwed up, didn't you?" Diane Westher teased her friend, from where she stood next to George Bishop. "You need to keep a low profile around girls like her. But now you're number one on her list."

"Yeah, I can see that you're enjoying this, aren't you?" Wanda snapped back. "Well, maybe I should tell her that you need love just as much, if not more than me. My poor friend's son is leaving next fall, and she'll be oh so lonely in her empty nest."

"You wouldn't dare! I know things about you. Dirty secrets that you don't want to be known," Diane threatened her friend.

"Well, I know things about you as well," Wanda shot back. Noticing the disbelieving look on George's face, she hinted at what she knew. "Diane might not run around with other men, but a person can get just as dirty all by themselves."

"Wanda!"

"I see the baby is acting up again, Diane," Fiona remarked as she walked over. The two single mothers, who found strength with each other, hugged. Turning toward Wanda, Fiona shook her head in mock disappointment. "I guess we should have hired a babysitter for this one."

"I'm only a year younger than you two, so stop calling me a baby. Gawd, that got old in middle school," Wanda complained.

"Diane, have you seen Frida lately?" Brooke inquired.

"I think she went to hide in the bathroom. Chastity thought she found the perfect man for her, and wouldn't drop the idea," George chuckled. "He didn't seem her type."

"What's going on here?" Kimberly questioned in distaste as one woman jumped up and down, clapping in joy.

A group of around twenty-five people stood in the spot where tables had been about thirty minutes before. A solid two-thirds of them appeared to be enjoying themselves as performed various odd or embarrassing acts. Mary Moreau and Harmony Griffin were not two of them. They grimaced as they rubbed their heads and stomachs at the same time.

"Simon--sorry, Cupid Says," Diane answered. "Consider yourself fortunate that you missed charades. That bombed hard. Poor Chastity looked ready to cry."

"So how was dancing with Jack and Ryan?" Wanda inquired, already smirking at the expected answer.

"Principal Hartburn is a good dancer; I'll give him that. Unfortunately, I don't think love is going to bloom between us," Brooke revealed, earning an exaggerated sigh of disappointment from Wanda.

"Aww, and I was hoping to see what happened when he suggested a mother-daughter celebration at graduation."

"Oh, if he suggested that to me, then he'd be in a wheelchair for the graduation ceremony," Brooke responded, flashing anger at the suggestion. "I'm going to go see where Frida is hiding."

The group watched as Brooke stormed off.

"Shit, me, and my jokes. I hope I didn't ruin her night," Wanda said, looking like she had egg on her face.

"Don't mind her. She gets touchy about Heather at times. They don't have a close relationship, and it bothers her some days," Kimberly explained. "Your principal seems interesting, but that other teacher was like an octopus, and not in a good way."

"Skoug is kind of creep, but he's the harmless type of creep. He's the kind that loves to talk about himself," Wanda stated with a shrug. Her attention became more focused on Ian Thirlby.

Feeling more and more eyes on him from the women in the room, Ian grew increasingly uncomfortable with the attention. Fiona maintained a grip on his arm. She knew he could be a confident man in every other aspect of his life. The silver-haired woman desperately wanted him to find happiness. Having a high sex-drive of her own, she had no clue how he managed to get through these years without an occasional hookup. It wasn't like he didn't have a solid reputation as a lover in high school. She thought he needed a spark to jumpstart his love life.

"I'm fine, Fiona," Ian softly reassured her, feeling her grip tighten again. "Look, Hayden Peel just walked in here. I'm going to go talk to him." He glanced over at Fiona again. "I'll be fine, Fi."

Fiona, Diane, and Wanda turned to gaze at where Ian nodded. A man with dark red hair and eyeglasses stood in the doorway from the back entrance. He appeared even more uncomfortable than Ian. Average height and weight, Hayden Peel was almost dwarfed by the blond, muscular guy that walked in with him.

"Okay, but who's the muscle-head that he's with?" Fiona asked.

"Simon Vokey. I don't know him, but he works at the law firm too. Sounds like he's pretty good at employment discrimination," Ian revealed all that he knew, right before he left.

Mary made her way near the two newcomers after Chastity eliminated her from the game. She smiled and warmly greeted Hayden. She taught his daughter at Azure Rocks High. Simon Vokey appeared to cut into the conversation to flirt with the pretty teacher. Polite to a fault, Mary didn't extract herself from his attention until Ian arrived at the small group.

"Hello, Ms. Wynwick," Mary greeted Fiona when she joined them. Cheryl Fort also appeared out of nowhere to rejoin them.

"It's Fiona. I've told you that several times," she reminded the teacher, who blushed.

"Sorry. I get so formal around the parents of my students," Mary responded.

"Ah, yes. Where is your son tonight?" Diane asked Fiona.

"Hot date?" Wanda chimed in.

"Something like that. Fletch mentioned not being able to decide, so he said he might take both out," Fiona revealed, looking embarrassed. "Honestly, I didn't want to know the details, so I didn't ask anymore."

"Ooh, I'm going to need to find out the identities of these two lucky young ladies come Monday at school," the school nurse stated with a gleam in her eye.

"Wanda!" a shocked Mary exclaimed.

"I think they know the teachers' lounge spreads as much gossip as the girl's bathroom at school," Wanda said.

"What's your son's plan for tonight?" Fiona asked Diane. "Did he snag a date?"

"Gavin's staying home with friends to play video games," Diane replied, but she didn't look all that happy. "I try and try to convince him to ask a girl out, but he's still too awkward them."

"It's a shame that things didn't work out with Grace. I thought they made a good couple," Fiona commented, referring to Fletcher's best friend, Grace Smith.

"Me too. Me too," Diane sighed.

"What's with that guy with muscles staring over here?" Dr. Fort whispered to the other women.

"It looks like Mary has an admirer," Wanda commented.

"Who is he?" Cheryl asked.

"Some lawyer at Mulberry, March & Woodsen," Wanda informed her.

"Are you interested in him?" Fiona asked, thinking the man looked too muscular for her taste.

"I just met the man," Mary remarked. "I know Mr. Peel and stopped to say hello to him."

"And I would stay away from Mr. Vokey," Kimberly announced, looking up from her phone. "Sarah said that he's a conceited, even more than usual for a lawyer. He's also a known player. Hey, her word, not mine."

"How did she know to send you that?" Diane asked.

"I saw the way he was looking at her," Kimberly nodded at Mary. "So I sent her a text. Damon might not work at the firm, but he knows everyone that does. And Sarah said to stay away."

"If Sarah said that, it's good enough for me," Diane commented. Every other woman agreed.

"And she said to keep an eye out on the other guy," Kimberly added. "It sounds like Damon is concerned about him."

"Well, who wouldn't be?" Diane asked, but Kimberly didn't understand.

"That's Hayden Peel. Don't you read TattleRocks?" Wanda queried.

"No, I don't think the name--wait! The one with the wife who cheated with--"

"Yes, that one. The whole town knows what happened to his marriage," Diane said, placing her hand over her heart. "He's such a sweet guy too."

"His daughter is in a class of mine. I sometimes feel like crying when I look at her," Mary revealed. "No girl that age should have to deal with a scandal like that about her mother. Thankfully, she takes after her father."

"Well, don't look now, but that Vokey guy is bringing them over here," Fiona broke in to warn Mary.

A series of cheers and screams turned their attention from the approaching men. Chastity jumped up and down with joy. Grabbing the microphone, she announced the news.

"Cupid's luck has struck again! We have a winner at Cupid Says!" The honey blonde rushed over to the winner, nearly tripping over a chair. "And what's our lucky lady's name."

"Um, Harmony," the embarrassed teacher said into the microphone.

"Holy mackerel! I love that name. So tell us a little about yourself," Chastity prompted.

"Um, my name is Harmony Griffin. I teach various math courses at Azure Rocks High School."

"That's my old school!" Chastity exclaimed, hugging the surprised woman. "And?"

"I moved here from Black Well last summer with my son."

"Well, it's your lucky day. As the winner of Cupid Says, you get to pick any man here and kiss him. Do you have a special fella in mind?"

"N-no, I don't."

"You don't?" Chastity moaned in disappointment. Then her eyes lit up. "That means I'm going to be a busy bear--get it?--and have to find two special men for two special teachers from my old high school." The honey blonde pointed over to Wanda, revealing to everyone the second woman.

"Fawn is so going to owe me over this," Wanda grumbled.

"Is everyone ready to shake their booty and burst their pipes?" Chastity asked. "It's time to Fraggle Rock, and fire up the karaoke machine!"