The Ex

Now that he had an handle on using this Master P.C. program it was time for Xander to take care of his shit. He had some baggage he was dragging around. Baggage named Cordelia. Granted their relationship going down in flames had been his fault what with kissing Willow a half a dozen times. But the way Cordelia had gone about burning and salting the ground when they'd split was a bridge too far. She'd shared way to many personal details that he had shared with her in secret, things about his parents that ought never to have been revealed to the world at large.

And how had he ended up the bad guy in this situation exactly? If it wasn't for Willow blabbing about the various days of smoochies no one would have known about anything but that one kiss. So how did he end up the bad guy that night? He got kidnapped by a vampire, had his head beaten in till he was seeing double and under threat of execution by said vampire he kissed his best friend in the world, who just happened to be a girl. It wasn't his fault Cordelia came in at that exact moment, flipped out and then injured herself when she ran away in a panic. Rather than helping her obviously injured boyfriend with the bleeding head wound who couldn't stand up straight on his own power.

Soooo... how to fix the ex problem? How do you solve a problem like Cordelia?

He could just over write what had happened but that was... well... lame? Beneath him? He was better than that. Right?

Right.

So how?

How did he change Cordelia's mind without actually going and rewriting her mind. The only thing that Cordy ever really yielded to was social pressure. So how was he going to make the 'in' crowd Cordy was part of take his side? Or her parents who never really liked him, third generation blue blood old money people looking down on the little guy.

Oooooooh.... Xander sat up straight as he suddenly had an idea.

He'd just got done rewriting parents. Harmony was probably better off now with his tweaked parents than she was with her original parents. People who had had a child to use as a status symbol.

Not that he wanted to change Cordy's parents too much. Part of the thrill Cordelia got out of dating him had been the fact that her folks hadn't approved of him. It was probably a good idea to leave her father alone. Which meant he could focus all of his changes on Cordelia's mother Chelsea. And given all that he had done to Melody Kendall, maybe he could make a few more changes to Chelsea to help her be... a better person. So what worked for Melody should work for Chelsea... right?

19- When she was in her late teens and early 20s Chelsea followed her dreams and tried to be an actress. She had a small career as model and actress, limited by her unwillingness to do nudity. She still achieved some small notoriety as a B movie actress similar to Bo Derek, Adrienne Barbeau, Sybil Danning. Her biggest claim to main stream fame is having been an featured extra in Octopussy that flirted with James Bond.

20-Chelsea Chase is the very picture of a California Cougar. A woman who's beauty belies her real age as her body is still firm and shapely. She spends her days in a loveless and dispassionate marriage. Trying not to think about the passion and the glitz and the glamour of her teens and twenties. She often finds herself tempted by younger men, fantasizing about having affairs. Finding that the penalties in her pre-nup are not discouraging enough to prevent her from taking a younger man as a lover.

So what could he do to Chelsea to make her more sympathetic to him? What would make her want to side with Xander Harris over her own daughter? Jealousy? Maybe. But what he really need was something that would tug at Chelsea's heartstrings. However small and shriveled her heart may be. So something that mattered to Chelsea, something she would give a damn about, something she remembered fondly.

21- When she was a teenager Cheslea lost her virginity to a boy from a lower class background who looked slightly like Xander Harris. She had a torrid summer of love with the boy, having the best sex of her life with the lower class guy who looked like Xander Harris. When she fantasizes about sex Chelsea pictures that boy who looks almost identical to Xander Harris, making her think fondly of Xander Harris. And make her wonder if Xander is the best lover that Cordelia will ever have. Lately the memory of her former lover has been blurred with and overlaid with Xander Harris meaning when she fantasizes she fantasizes about having the best sex of her life with Xander Harris.

Okay. That was... petty. But whatever.... so how to make Cordy's mom work for him as it were. Especially since outside of social events Cordelia was kind of raised by the maids and house staff. Oh boy, this was going to take some work.

22- Although an often absent parent Chelsea Chase does love her daughter and tries to make time for her daughter. Trying to be at the big events in Cordelia's life. Also Chelsea is supporting of Cordelia's attempts to be an actress and singer. Arranging for coaches to try and help Cordelia act and sing. When it came to Cordelia's dating life she wasn't impressed by the rich boys, the jocks and others that Cordelia sated. But she was very much behind Cordelia dating Xander Harris. Secretly supporting the relationship and shielding Cordelia from her father's disapproval.

23- Last week Chelsea had a talk with Cordelia about her summer of love and how she's not had an orgasm with any partner she's had since. She ended her long rambling talk about her past lover by advising Cordelia to look back fondly on her relationship with Xander. When Cordelia explained that she was still a virgin, having refused to have sex with Xander, Chelsea winced and hugged her daughter and failed to reassure her that she wasn't doomed to a life of miserable orgasmless sex.

Xander mused on how exactly he could change the fact that the particulars of the many days or surreptitiously kissing Willow had been revealed. When Willow had snitched and thrown him under the bus in an attempt to get Oz back on her side everyone had taken it as gospel. Because... because he had never offered a different version of events. He'd never challenged the narrative. So it got set in stone that he was the guy who started kissing Willow. Instead of what had happened which was that they'd suddenly started making out... which is kinda weird in hind sight. Why had he started making out with Willow?

24- Chelsea did point out that the only version of the events surrounding the 'affair' Cordelia had was from Willow. Someone who Cordelia had been enemies with for many years. And also that she was the girl who for years wanted Cordelia's boyfriend as her own boyfriend. Making Cordelia wonder how it was Willow, a witch, ended up having forbidden kisses with the boy who always saw her as sister. She wonders if Willow used magic to make it happen.

Xander growled as he was now wondering the exact same thing. He had no reason for his affair with Willow. It had just happened. One minute best friends the next, necking on the sly. It was like some unseen **** had grabbed hold of him and told him what to do overwriting what he was naturally inclined to do....

Xander jolted in his seat. That sounded like Master P.C. Had he been mastered? Had somebody tweaked him?