The Dapper Old Gentleman

“Young man, you don’t look like someone who just saved another man’s life. In fact, you look like someone who’s got the weight of the entire world on their shoulders.” The kindly old man said as he took off his hat.

“I guess you could say that sir. I’m glad that groundskeeper will be okay, but I’ve had a miserable day.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’ve definitely had better.”

“I find sharing one’s problems reduces their burden. What’s happened to you to make this such an awful day?

“Why not? I could definitely use a friendly ear. When I left my apartment this morning there was a notice on my door. The landlord is evicting me. Well, the whole building really. Apparently there’s a loophole in our leases, and she’s using it to demo the whole building and rebuild it as luxury condos. I’ve got a week to get out.”

“That doesn’t sound legal.”

I let out a rueful chuckle. “It probably isn’t. But everyone who has taken her to court has lost. Brutally. There are rumors her dad is a judge in town. I’m looking into my options, but I need to be prepared to be out by Friday. Things just kept going down that path once I got to work.”

“What do you do?” The gentleman queried.

“I’m the IT Manager for a high end fashion company. I had a huge presentation today, about an opportunity to revolutionize our online presence. But right before I was set to begin, I got called into the boss’ office. Some of our designs had been found on the web, and the head of marketing was blaming me, either for having lax systems, or putting them out there intentionally to build my case for a new website. Neither of those are true, or even make any sense, but I suspect she saw my proposal as a challenge to her job. I was told to go home early today, and that there will be a formal meeting on Monday. I actually like my boss, but the writing may be on the wall. On my way out the door, the designer who I had a date with tonight canceled on me. I wouldn’t be surprised if Lacy, the marketing head, had a hand in that too. And then all the fun times in the park.”

“Yes, I heard you yell out and saw what happened with the woman in the orange dress. I don’t believe she realized that you saved her life. Sounds like you’re having issues with the women in your life.”

I think on that for a moment. My landlord, the head of marketing, my boss, my canceled date, the blonde in the park. “It does seem like that doesn’t it? All the principal players in this shitty day have all been women.”

“So, what could improve your day, young man? What would fix your life?” The aged man next to me asked.

“Shit...sorry, excuse my language. I don’t know. I just wish there was some way I could get along with the women in my life.” I sigh, tilting my head to the sky.

A wide smile cracks across my neighbor’s face. “ I think I can help you with that. I was worried you’d ask for something grandiose. You remind me a lot of a young man named Jack I met years ago. He was in a similar situation, now he runs...he runs a large business out of Las Vegas. How much money do you have on you?”

Taken back by the question, I stammer a bit. “Not much cash, but I was planning to swing by the bank before my date. I’ve got a hundred of those dollar coins that I was going to swap out for some twenties.” I say, pulling the plastic bag out of my pocket. “Everything is paid for with plastic these days, but I didn’t want to take a chance on what I thought was going to be a big date.”

“Coins? Perfect. Dump them into my hat.” Banking on the fact that I’m pretty sure if I had to, I could chase this man down if he were to pull a runner, I acquiesce, eager to see where this goes. “Have you ever heard the expression, ‘Coin of the Realm,’ young man? Well these coins are now the coin of YOUR realm. Give one of them to any woman and you will find them much more willing to get along and join your team, so to speak.” The smile on his weathered face is more than a little off putting.

I’ve got no idea what he is talking about, but I do notice the coins seem to be shining a little more brightly as I start putting them back into the bag.

“Just make sure you don’t actually exchange them at the bank. They’ll only work on the first woman to touch them, and each woman can only be impacted once. If you dump them back into circulation, you might not like the outcome, and you DEFINITELY won’t be able to control it. Trust me. In fact...if you want to prove it, get one of those coins ready. An opportunity is storming our way.”