The Crowd Around The Cart

“Does anyone know CPR?”

I had kind of hoped that everything involved in the cart crash would take care of itself. I really wanted to just get the hell out of the park, get home and start boxing up my collapsing life. But it’s quickly obvious that no one in the crowd does. Sprinting down the I yell out to the crowd, “Someone call 911. Tell them what’s happened, where we are, and that we’re starting chest compressions.” The crowd still seems too stunned to react, but I see the dapper old guy from earlier pulling out his phone as I start chest compressions on the driver. He must have had a heart attack and stomped his foot on the pedal.

Moving quickly, I start humming along to “Staying Alive” as I begin performing CPR on the guy who almost mowed me down a couple minutes ago. Not the Bee Gees, but Wyclef Jean. Obviously. It takes a couple minutes, but fortunately, he comes to right as the EMTs dash up. I ambled over to a nearby park bench to recover. “I need to get the hell out of this park.” I think out loud. “Things just keep getting worse.”

“Well then, why don’t we change that?” Someone has snuck up on me and has sat beside me on the bench. I’m not sure I can deal with anymore human interaction today.