The Boss

The new emperor of the Zin Empire is taking a stroll throughout the ship, alongside his personal steward, Zinjai. The Saint has had a bit of a stressful day, having only returned from Hell 24 hours earlier. “It’s a good thing you’re here, ZJ. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know what half this shit is.” The alien bows his head at his leader. “It is my pleasure, your excellency. I knew you have not had the time to really explore what we have to offer. You’ve had your fun using our time traveling & you’ve only recently been released from your imprisonment in Hell, so of course you would need some assistance.”

The pair reach a room and, fortunately for the Boss, the sign is written in English. “Collections,” he says. “What like debt collections? I wouldn’t take Zinyak for a loan shark.” He opens the sliding door and the two enter. “No, my liege. Just as Zinyak used time travel to build a menagerie of his favorite humans, his fascination with Earth culture also had him collect a wide array of items from throughout Earth’s history.”

The boss picks up a cutlass, which has a sign in front of it saying “Blackbeard’s Sword.” He places it back. “So, he would use time travel to get random shit from history?” he asks. “Whatever caught his fancy, yes,” Zinjai responds. The human looks at the rest of Zinyak’s collection. So many things that look good as new. He spots an old, golden lamp. “What is that, a genie lamp?” the Boss asks. “If you are referring to the mythological wish-granting being then, I do not believe so. However, with the presence of Miss Jezebel, I do not think we can rule out that possibility.” The Boss picks up the lamp and checks it out.

“You’re telling me Zinyak never tried rubbing this thing to see if a genie popped out?” the Emperor asks. “No. That is one of Zinyak most recent acquisitions. Also, as Zinyak did not believe in the existence of magical beings, like genies, he was never tempted to rub the lamp.”

The Boss notices a slight smudge on the lamp. “Yeah well, if you had asked me last year if I believed in that type of stuff, I would have said no too. But will all the bullshit I have experienced now, I wouldn’t put it past it.” He rubs the smudge off, and almost instantly a puff of smoke started coming out of the lamp. He & Zinjai wave the smoke away from their faces. He hears a woman say, “Well, that was quick. Hello Master. My name is Amara. What’s your name?”

“John Doe,” he responds. As the smoke clears, John finally sees where the voice came from. Standing before him and his personal steward is a beautiful woman, wearing practically nothing. The genie looks around at her surroundings, confused. “Wait, where am I?” she asks. John replies, “You are on an alien ship.” This causes more confusion in the genie. “How did I get here in only a matter of days?” Samira asks.

“Days?” the Boss wonders. Then suddenly, it clicks. With time travel, the thousands upon thousands of years in-between her getting put in the lamp & now was just days for her. He whispers to Zinjai, “Do you happen to know what year Zinyak pulled that lamp from?” The alien responds, “Not too long after humans started civilizations. So, around 4000 BCE.” The Emperor starts doing the math in his head and then tries to think how he’ll break it to her. “So … Samira, right?”

“Yes, Master. That is my name,” she replies. “So, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, while for you it was only a couple days you were in that lamp, it actually has been over 6,000 years since you went into that lamp,” John tells her. “I don’t think so. It didn’t feel like I was waiting for thousands of years,” the genie replies. “Of course it wouldn’t. Because of time travel.”

“Time travel?” Samira asks. She’s familiar with the concept, but is unaware how it could have happened. She didn’t use her powers, nor does she believe any other genie used their powers on the lamp. “Yeah, time travel,” the Boss states. “You see, the planet this ship is from is called Zin. The Zin are the most technologically advanced culture in the known universe. I’m the current emperor, but the last one was a huge asshole. He was a big fan of conquering planets, keeping people imprisoned, & using time travel to take people and things from Earth history. One of those things was clearly your lamp.”

“I see,” Samira replies. She seems to take the news quite well. “I guess I should count myself lucky that he was not the one who found my lamp, and instead someone more noble & good found it.” The Boss chuckles a bit. “Those aren’t exactly words that most people, including myself, would use to describe me.” He starts heading out of the room, with Zinjai not too far behind. He turns around, still slightly chuckling, and tells Samira, “Come on, let’s go meet the rest of the Saints.”

More confusion falls on Samira as she follows John out of the Collections room. From what she knew, the word “Saint” is generally for someone who is good. But her new master said he would not use that word to describe himself. “ZJ, go get the rest of the Saints & tell them to meet me in the throne room,” the Boss commands. “As you wish, your excellency.” The alien leaves the human and the genie. John & Samira reach the throne room. He sidesteps and allows Samira to enter first. “Ladies first.” She enters the room & he can’t help himself but stare at her ass in, what he can only describe as, a thong. He whispers, “Nice.”