Subspace Offensive Campaign Assessment

The war was technically already lost in a conventional sense. The enemy had vastly superior numbers, intelligence and resources. Its technological advantage, powered by the subspace energy, gave them the upper hand before the first battles even started. Their native agents like Wario must have realized that immediately, and turned sides at the sight of their military.

And then there was the psychological aspect. This enemy had introduced something this world was unfamiliar with.

Sexual intercourse.

The idea had never occurred before the invasion started, as if it was a dormant concept it wasn’t yet ready for. Now though, the world had suddenly and irrevocably matured. That alone would have had enormous consequences, but with an active **** propagating the changes it brought, the world —the old world— had already been destroyed beyond repair.

So, as stated earlier, the open war was lost. The defenders thus had to resort to guerrilla strategies, move in small teams, remain mostly unseen, and make the conquest and consolidation of power as hard and painful as possible. Cut off supply lines. Drain the enemy’s resources. Take out key figures. Rescue prisoners.

Wether his one actor, King Dedede, was aligned with the enemy as well, was as of yet uncertain. He was known as much too selfish to truly join a cause. Then again, so was Wario reportedly. It was clear though, that Dedede’s methods and goals did not align with the defenders, so they would have to take him out.

This would also give them access to the three trophies he’d gathered, who’d prove invaluable in their next objectives: work their way op the military hierarchy, and remove the man at the top.

Whoever that may be.

The squad now was seven strong, part of a growing resistance, an improvised strike **** aimed at the heart of the enemy.

Mario, victor of a thousand battles against the koopa army, despite being just a normal human, was invaluable resource. Out of all of them, perhaps he had the most combat experience. Almost all of it was in solo missions, showing his incredible prowess.

Link, silent but deadly sword master, was outstandingly resourceful. Armed with more tricks up his sleeve than anyone could believe, he had an answer for any situation. A jack of all trades, and a master of most of them.

Pit, heaven-backed warrior angel, excellent scout and archer extraordinaire, blessed with the power of flight and and indestructible morale, capable of locating darkness in the blink of an eye and taking it out in the same amount of time.

Palutena, a being of literal divine power, wise and radiant, a strategic mastermind, goddess of light, she effortlessly led armies and heroes alike.

Bayonetta, umbra witch, gracefully deadly, mistress of the bullet arts, she was as skilled with a gun as she was with her body. Her experience with all matters dark, and her willingness to use her sexuality as a weapon were perfect for this conflict.

Then, Kirby, a being made up of pure positive emotion, yet with a natural weapon akin to a black hole hidden in its stomach. Swallowing an organism allowed it to take on some of its attributes, using the enemy’s abilities against them.

If only any of them spoke Yoshi’s language, he could share his military assessment with them.

For now though, he’d have to be a silent ally to the cause, fighting along side of them. They penetrated the keep with very little resistance. Dedede’s forces were in disarray, quickly dispatched and scattered. When arriving in the throne room, Yoshi understood why. The roof had been destroyed, and the koopa army was busy looting the place for what it was worth. The most notable prize however, the trophy of Princess Peach, was just being hoisted through the hole in the roof, overseen by King Koopa himself.

Mario and Pit went in pursuit of the leader, while the rest destroyed the koopa forces. Yoshi overlooked the battlefield, spotting the badge on the hostage’s breast. It was dislodged in the struggle, and as the king of the koopa’s retreated, he saw Kirby notice the thing. Whatever it was, it would have to wait. The large warship was awaiting its precious cargo, and they would have to retrieve it.