Recouping Losses

Wario wasn’t one for crying over spilled milk. A spoiled opportunity however, the loss of a treasure, now that was worth crying over.

His treasure was gone, gone with the wind. Technically, she was gone with a giant penguin and a dog, but who cared for those details?

The point was, that Wario would not let himself get left behind like that. When the big bad Ganon had handed him the dark cannon, and told him to gather as much fighters as possible, he saw it as a nice opportunity for some very easy profit.

Then, as the profit had turned out lower than expected —some might say: “Wario failed to capture 75% of his targets,” but does people could fuck off— he’d decided to at least enjoy the profits he did gain.

Long story short, he’d awakened the pretty little princess, who had been touched thoroughly by the perverting powers of the subspace monstrosities, and, well, one thing led to an interesting other.

Wario wouldn’t readily admit it, but he truly considered running away from all this nonsense, hide away with his little princess and sit it out.

Or, you know, make her sit it out. On her little knees, with her wet, soft mouth around his cock.

And he was sure she wanted that too. She had been dismissive of him at first, playing the whole sassy, dismissive noble thing, but she’d loved his roughness, his drive to take what he wanted.

He was still convinced he saw sadness in her eyes when she was taken from him—rescued, some goody two-shoes might call it— so he knew what was up.

Still, the trail had gone cold, and soon he’d set his sights on a new prize.

She was cute, sassy, and probably good enough to replace Peach. The only problem was that she wasn’t alone. Of course, he wasn’t talking about the wimpy guy who followed her around like a lost puppy, but the weird blue turtle she had shoved away in a ball. The thing was a menace, and Wario wasn’t ready to confront it before he knew how to take it out.

His cannon was gone, so he’d have to go for stealth. He preferred to use brute ****, but he’d have to resist his urges for now.

She was beautiful though, long brown hair which he’d wrap around his hand to pull her against him, long legs to push up next to her face, cute tits to manhandle.

Oh, she’d beg for it like Peach did, on her knees, makeup running and **** for another orgasm. His cock was rock-solid thinking about it.

There they were, crawling out of their sleeping bag.

She kissed him —yuck— and pulled her shorts back on. He got a good look at her ass. Yes, he could already feel his hand stinging from the spanking he’d give her. Like her predecessor, she’d be disgusted by him at first. She’d be snarky, dismissive and rude. But then, after a while, she’d come to like him being on top. She wouldn’t admit it at first, but slowly and surely she’d give herself to him. Perhaps she would even make his angry, dark heart stir, like she did…

Wario shrugged that last thing off. He wouldn’t fall into that trap again. This time would be better. He’d keep his feelings at a distance. It would be better that way.

Their trek through the ruins of whatever civilization had been dumb enough to lose its grandeur, continued.

He missed his bike. He could summon it, easily, don’t even ask how, but he could. Sadly, that thing made an awful noise, which would certainly alert his quarry.

He was conflicted. On the one hand, he was sick and tired of this sneaking around and ready to make a dramatic entrance. On the other hand, he had no plans of getting drowned by a little water spouting monster.

So he kept to the shadows, stalking his prey.

They were hunting a dragon. Apparently, it made its lair underground, deep underneath the ancient ruins. For a moment he considered ambushing them at the entrance to the tunnels, but realized how dumb of an idea that was. No, he’d keep hiding in the dark, waiting for the right time to strike.

She was giggling, teasing her pathetic companion, holding his hand like a teenager with her first boyfriend.

Perhaps it was.

The idea made Wario instantly hard. Snatching her away from her little crush, to show her how a real man could make her feel. Maybe he’d make the wimp watch as he made her his.

Wouldn’t that be something?

The right moment came as they entered a partially collapsed chamber. Sunlight streamed in, giving life to a little to a formerly underground lake, which had transformed into an unexpected oasis. Little birds chirped, and when his unaware little lady ran up to the water, a toad-like creature with a flower on its back charged out of the brush to guard its territory.

For some reason, the girl immediately recognized it as another one of whatever the fuck her aquatic anomaly was, and gleefully commanded hers to throw itself between her and the green one.

Long story short, despite its confidence, the blue one was being slapped around by the green one when Wario took his chance.

Out of the shadows he leapt, one arm around her tiny waist, another on her face. She struggled, of course, but he was stronger than her. Much stronger.

“Stop it,” he laughed in her ear. “you’re mine now.”

The blue little monster whipped around, missing its mistress’ commands, immediately ran to her rescue, and got grabbed by a pair of green vines to be smacked against a stone wall.

The blonde guy just froze.

“Yup,” he continued. “No one to save ya. Just me. Don’t worry though, you’ll love being with a real man.”

He sniffed her hair. She smelled good. Fresh, unspoiled.

He’d spoil her alright.

At least, that’s what he thought, right before he saw the wimpy kid lose his wimpiness. He’d thawed out, and with a flash of light, he threw what seemed to be a bolt of lighting right into Wario’s face.

His arms lost all strength, dropping the girl to the floor and he himself keeled over backwards.

He turned into a trophy before even hitting the ground.