The Subspace Emissary

Cheers filled the floating arena. The excitement of the crowds beat like a storm against its newly created stage, as if testing it for its sturdiness. It was going to need to be sturdy for its upcoming punishment.

For a cutesy and colorful world, its inhabitants seemed obsessed with ****. Even if said **** only led to the recipient being turned to a reversible yet helpless frozen state, which could last as long as the holder of such a trophy willed, it was never truly Peach’s favorite thing in the world. Yet, as a royal and leader of the Mushroom Kingdom, she was there, politely supporting the fighters. Next to her Zelda, princess of Hyrule, waved with a gentleness and restraint that made Peach chuckle. Her companion was every bit the princess she wasn’t: stoic, wise, ethereal. Nonetheless, they were fast friends. Opposites were once again proven to attract.

She wondered if Zelda ever questioned their way of living, the endless cycle of ****, of which Peach was often the unwilling, yet increasingly apathetic trophy.

Speaking of, the frozen image of her current champion, the mustached plumber who somehow constantly seemed to outmatch even the king of the Koopas, Bowser himself. The trophy landed exactly on its designated spot in the arena, triggering his release in a flashing light. For a handyman, he sure knew how to put on a show. His opponent, a big bouncy pink balloon called Kirby, arrived in similar fashion and soon the two were pummeling each other to their audience’s hearts’ content.

Peach sighed, stealing a sly look to her companion to see if she was as bored as her, yet not getting any information out of Zelda’s serene expression.

As Mario stomped Kirby into an almost flat state, his favorite style of execution, as Peach unfortunately had to witness on multiple occasions, her thoughts went once again to the question of the sense of all this fighting. It was all this world seemed to know, yet there had to be something beyond aggressive conquest, right?

Her thoughts were interrupted as a shadow fell over the arena. Dark red clouds blocked out the sun, and the crowds fell quiet. For a moment time stood still, as an ominous giant mask appeared through the clouds. It stared menacingly down on the awed souls, before emerging fully as a gigantic battleship, covered in guns, and borne on infernal wings similar to those of a monstrous bat.

For a moment, Peach expected the thing to unleash its weaponry upon the arena, yet as it floated over the fighting ring, a hatch opened in its belly, vomiting out a mass of purple-black particles, that covered the stage.

As she stared, frozen in horror, the substance congealed into the shape of an otherworldly army, trembling and shaking warriors crawling up like awakened dead returning to the land of the living. They had all shapes and sizes, some very human, others barely conceivable as such. Their shapes and movements were strange, obscene even, as if mocking the laws of nature. Peach felt the blood rushing to her cheeks as she noticed pieces of bodies she’d never seen exposed so publicly, and her frozen legs trembled as the heat spread to parts unmentionable.

She was pulled out of her trance by a firm hand on her arm.

“Come.”

A flash of light, and she was pulled through a tear in space. For a moment her body screamed out in terror as gravity pulled it in all directions, until her feet touched solid ground again. She was now in the middle of the arena, Zelda, Mario and Kirby at her side, and she instinctively sunk into a battle stance.

Well, she thought, more **** it is.