Stay cool but I'm giddy like a school boy. You gotta handle with care, this is not a toy

Adventure isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be.

In the last week Robin had been kidnapped by a dwarf, exposed to the existence of magic or some technology so advanced as to be indistinguishable from it, pawed by an Amazonian Swiss Miss Barbie, chased through the halls of a hotel by a peg legged dwarf, had a drunken one night stand that they didn’t remember, and developed a love of hot tubs based on the principle of self defense. They had wanted an adventure. Something more than boring ass Duluth had to offer.

They’d basically spent the entire time reacting.

Adventure is a fun idea until you learn that enjoying it is impossible while it’s happening. They’d spent so much of the last seven days running on pure terror inspired adrenaline that even taking a few minutes to contemplate their situation was enough to start their blood pounding.

And now this.

“Green is your color Dahling!” Heidi was holding up a mint colored silk blouse, that Robin had to admit looked very nice.

“I dunno if that’s the best clothing for today. I need something more… activewear.”

When they’d been told that they were having a date with Bob, the kinda cute older guy who seemed to go out of his way to wait in their line at work, they’d actually been kind of excited, but then all of the shit that had followed it had resulted in so much fucking trauma that they hadn’t even thought about it since.

“Are you sure this isn’t going to be seen as like… favoritism or something?”

Heidi laughed, a full Germanic belly laugh, head thrown back and seriously guffawing. Robin had to dodge those braids of hers as they flew around. “No, liebchen, besides that we need you looking your best for Our Special Man.

They’d still ended up in green, although the UnderArmor top was a lot sturdier. After deciding on clothes Robin had finally gotten the nerve together to boot Heidi and start working on their makeup. They examined the overall effect in the mirror and had to admit that they looked good.

And now the nerves started to set in.

Bob answered the door at the knock. The outfit chosen had been an athletic shirt and a pair of comfortable jeans, leaving him with no clue at all what was coming, but he’d long since learned to go with the flow.

Robin stood there blushing, their wavy red hair artfully draped over one eye, pale skin accented by a deep reddish orange eyeshadow and meticulously applied eyeliner wings. A pearlescent green lip color matching both their shirt and the tiny emerald stud on their septum ring. Their lithe body was framed perfectly by the form fitting shirt and black leggings. Bob caught himself wondering what exactly was hiding under those leggings. Didn’t matter. Boy, girl, non-binary… they were just damn pretty.

Darkness, illuminated by brief flashes of red light and black light making neon colors stand out from the terrain and walls. His prey was moving slowly, and the timer was running down. Only seconds to go, and this would be for the win. He looked over for his partner, easily identifying them by the way their lips reflected the black light. They were in position. This would be a slaughter.

He raised the Laser Tag pistol and began opening fire, raining light down on the group of five twenty-something’s that had just wandered into range of the blind he and Robin had set up, scoring another ten points and securing their victory as the lights came up. Robin let out an exciting whoop and ran to him launching themself into his arms and kissing him before realizing what they were doing and pulling back, their cheeks flushed with both excitement and embarrassment.

Even the biggest food snob sometimes just wants crappy pizza. Sure, he could make pizza from scratch, but the carnival atmosphere of the arcade just kind of demanded it.

“So what’s next?”

So far Robin had mostly chosen activities that sort of prohibited talking. They’d played a few games of laser tag, and spent some time on a climbing wall. “I dunno. What do you want to do?” They took a bite of the pizza. Adventure Zone in Canal Park had some seriously crappy pizza. It reminded both of them of high school.

“Well they got rid of most of the good game cabinets years ago, so we’re kind of limited. You ever play mini-golf?”

Like most rational human beings Bob recognized that Leon Wilson was correct in regards to golf.
Miniature golf was another animal entirely, and he’d gotten quite good at it over the years. It was not the “good walk spoiled” that the classic example was, more like an exercise in geometry and physics. He would argue until the day he died that it required more skill than the OG version.

Right now he was enjoying watching Robin’s stance and wondering if he should correct them just as they overshot the hole again. “Damnit! I had the shot lined up! What am I doing wrong?” And… the universe provides…

“Want some help?”

It’s an old hackneyed cliche that golfing dates always end up with one partner showing the other how to line up a shot very up close and personal, and this was no exception. As he wrapped his arms around them, he felt them tense up at first, his hands covering their much smaller ones sensed the pulse racing in their veins, and their scent… god damn whatever they were wearing should be called Justifiable ****. He was pressed up against them, helping them to line up the shot when their surprisingly shapely ass rubbed against his crotch.

He was already sporting a semi and that went to full mast on contact. Clearly Robin felt this as they froze almost immediately. So as not to make them too uncomfortable he pulled back some and finished guiding the shot.

As they walked the boardwalk Robin finally decided they’d had enough foreplay. They reached out and took his hand as they walked. Did he actually like them? Or was it just the weird shit that kept getting people to paw at them? Didn’t really matter, did it? They resolved to just fucking get over themself and out of their own head and go for it.

They walked along like that, hand in hand, to the very end of the boardwalk, ending up at the lighthouse, the last rays of sunlight shining behind it, turning the sky the same shade as their eyeshadow. They leaned their back up against the wall and looked at him. The light reflected off his shiny head, but it also caught in those warm green eyes.

Fuck it. I’m done reacting.

He was surprised by the kiss, but only for a moment, quickly returning it with interest.

(Title: “Balance Beam” by Blue October)