Squirtle, by Sarckle

~.6 Months ago on “Let's survive”, by Auraicide~.

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“Yay. I can't wait to read about fucking Pokemon.”

---

“Well, Gina it took us half a year, but it looks like you finally got your wish.”

“That was sarcastic! Holy shit! Who the fuck finds Pokemon erotic?”

“Come now, Gina. This is from Sarckle, you know the Monster guy. You like him.”

“I don't like anyone here. I just put them in groups ranking from regular virgin loser nerd to complete degenerate. And Monster boy here is just about to get a demotion.”

“You know, Gina. Some Pokemon are quite erotic. Just take a look at Gardevoir.”

“hmm...OK...I mean...I am not into this shit..but..yeah...this thing is kinda...hot. So, this story will focus on the hot Pokemons?”

“Pokemon. And according to the title, Squirtle, by Sarckle...”

“SQUIRTLE!”

“Yes.”

“THAT'S A FUCKING SMALL TURTLE! DEGENERATE! SARCKLE IS A COMPLETE DEGENERATE!”

“Gina, look...”

“TURTLE FUCKER!!!”

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

“OK! Turns out this is just about legalized . You had me worried there for a second, Marcie.”

“Yes. In this world female trainers are considered inferior to male trainers, and if they lose a battle, the male has the right to the female.”

“First that sexist as fuck. Second aren't Pokemon trainers like 10 year olds?”

“Well yes, but to be fair, there is a scene in the original Anime where an old guy forces Ash to dance with his pants down for his pleasure.”

“There is nothing “to be fair” about this, Marcie!”

“Relax. According to the characters bio our protagonist, Amber, is an adult.”

“That picture of her is pretty adult.”

“I can appreciate the author going to the lengths to include pictures of not only Amber but also the Pokemon and other supplementary material. The initial introductery chapters are not by Sarckle tough.”

“Yeah sure, let's just skip them then.”

“However!”

“Oh, fuck me!”

“I usually wouldn't do this. But there is something so utterly vile and despicable in these first few chapters that I have to call the author out on it. I am aware that I am breaking our rules here, but even my tolerance has limits.”

“Please let this to us getting canceled. Please let this to us getting canceled. Please let this to us getting canceled.”

“Take a look at this abomination of a line.”

---

“...but Amber is determined to become the very best that no one ever was!”

---

“OK.”

“It's “like no one ever was!” This complete buffoon quoted the Pokemon theme song wrong! How utterly inept must you be to do that?”

“Marcie...we are one page fucking three. Just start reading already before I go completely insane.”

READING IN PROGRESS (BGM)

“Alright then, Gina. Would you do the summary?”

“It's Pokemon, but every guy is a and every girl is a lesbian.”

“Uh...”

“Also Sarckle has a shave fetish. Weirdo.”

“Gina please.”

“Say I'm wrong Marcie. Say I'm fucking wrong.”

“I mean, you aren't, but we still have to go more into detail.”

“Ok, fine, I do it! This is the story of a Pokemon trainer called Amber, who aims to become a Pokemon Master. No idea why she wants to do that, because being a female Pokemon trainer basically just means you are free use fuckmeat.”

“It is certainly an uphill battle.”

“You can fucking say that. Her first battle against her rival Blue ends in a defeat, which prompts Bitch Boy Blue to fuck and probably impregnate her.”

“Blue is a bit of a dick.”

“And he shaves the hair around his prick. What guy does that?”

“Didn't you do the same thing to Cutie?”

“Yeah! As a joke! Oh! And then there is Jack!”

“Jack being another female Pokemon trainer.”

“The Blue fucker shaves her head bald! Like WTF!”

“I can confirm that this is in fact a fetish. I give it a 2 on the Humiliation scale. Doesn't really do it for me.”

“Jack even gets repeatedly called the bald beauty. Bald people aren't beautiful. They are disgusting and evil, like Lex Luthor and Jeff Bezos.”

“That might be the most offensive thing you said so far, Gina.”

“Aww, thanks!”

“I think we should go back to the story, tough.”

“Which consists of Amber mostly getting fucked and taking advantage of.”

“It's not just loss after loss. She does win a decent amount of battles as well. Which I can appreciate.”

“I mean, yeah, but it's not like she gets to anyone if she wins. Which is fucking bullshit. I have no idea why Amber puts up with all these assholes.”

“Yes, even the nicer male trainers like John have no problem using their privilege for sex. It is just par for the course here. You are lucky if there is no physical accompanying the .”

“The girls should just form their own Pokemon League. With Blackjack! And Hookers!”

"..."

"..."

“...you aren't going to finish that joke?”

“What joke?”

“...Never mind.”

“Oh! And she is to get a nipple piercing and a fucking tattoo from Blue!”

“The Tattoo wasn't even creative. If you a humiliating tattoo on someone at least make it ironic. Like Gina here has a...”

“We do not need to talk about that!”

“Ok, Ok. We stopped reading when Amber made camp at Mount Moon and had received one badge. Hmm...I have to say you did a fairly poor job summarizing this.”

“Fuck you.”

“Perhaps we should go for a more general approach?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well...what was your favorite scene?”

“When Amber finally defeated Blue for the first time. Take that you fucking bald piece of shit!”

“Blue isn't...actually I have issues with that one.”

“What?”

“It feels...too early. Like Blue constantly harasses and humiliates Amber. You want to see her win against him and that makes the story very engaging. But now that she had that first win, the pressure is somewhat off.”

“I guess...Amber should have definitely demanded something better then, “can't fuck Misty” as her wager.”

“Definitely. Sarckle also tries to humanize Blue somewhat, which I'm not too hot about it either.”

“Ok, that's unexpected.”

“I do like a good redemption story, but Blue has been such an asshole up to this point that this feels like stockholm syndrome on Ambers part. Yes, he saves her from a , but only after whoring her out to 20 other guys just minutes prior.”

“Blue probably hired the guy so he could play hero. He absolutely would.”

“Now, as for my favorite scene, hm...I actually really like that soccer thing battle. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.”

“I had no idea what was going on there, but it was kinda cool, I guess.”

“I was really hoping for the Sirens to win. Now that I think about it, I probably would have liked it more if Amber won this bet against Blue.”

“The fucker definitely should have gotten his dick pierced. That sounds painful as fuck.”

“He no doubt would have used it to torment Amber further. Anyways, anything else?”

“Yeah! There was this sexy lesbian gangbang scene Sarckle just totally glossed over! We get multiple chapters devoted to Amber sucking cock, but when things actually get erotic Sarckle just chickens out!”

“Hm yes, lesbian scenes do not seem to be Sarckle's strong suit. There are quite a handful of them, but they are definitely not as developed as their straight counterpart.”

“Also, I have no idea how the fuck any of these Pokemons look. Sarckle should have included pictures! The original author did! Stop being a lazy fuck, you lazy fuck!”

“I do have to admit, that my knowledge with Pokemon pretty much stops at the second generation. As such, some visual aid would have been rather helpful.”

“Marcie you weren't even born when these games came out.”

“I think I might as well throw some criticism in myself. I found it quite irksome how the chapter title often spoils what happens in the chapter.”

“Oh, yeah! Like it's a super intense battle and then the next chapter is just titled. “Amber sucks ass and lost”. The fuck's up with that?”

“I do of course know what cough “the fuck is up”. These are supposed to be branching points, with the reader deciding if Amber wins or not. While I understand the reasoning, I do think it is somewhat unfortunate.”

“Masturbation question time. No.”

“The dry spell continues, huh?”

“Fuck Sarckle, seriously! The stuff with Jack would have been sexy if she wasn't freaking bald!”

“Hm, I am afraid it is a no for me as well. I think I inserted myself too much into Amber to enjoy all the humiliation.”

“Sarckle better get his shit together for Halloween. I want some hot monster action and this time not of the pocket variety.”

“While the sex wasn't up to my standards, I have to admit I did enjoy my time with Amber. There was plenty details and references to the original games. Even things like being into a battle when a trainer sees you where very cleverly implemented.”

“Meanwhile, I didn't understand shit.”

“All in all I think Amber's journey makes for a very interesting narrative and I wouldn't mind doing a follow up.”

“Yeah...uh...knock yourself out, but leave me out next time. I see absolutely no reason to indulge Sarckle's bald fetish any longer.”

“But Gina.”

“What?”

“Carvanha should eventually transform into a Sharpedo.” *shows picture*

“CUTE!!!! I mean...ok fine...guess we can do a follow up...if we must.”