Sayaka finds a funny-looking Kyoko

A few short moments after receiving Kyoko's message, Sayaka threw open the door to the library. It wasn't unusual to find it shut when a student was deep in study, so she didn't think much of it. She also hadn't seen Kyoko's strange social media post. Instead, her thoughts were entirely focused on the out-of-character text. For starters, Sayaka hadn't received a text from Kyoko since they'd swapped socials. Even if she had, Sayaka couldn't imagine Kyoko sending an informal and openly aggressive message full of slang and emojis...

And then, there was what Kyoko had said about their mutual friend. Something about a date.

The only reason the blue-haired idol was able to smile in this situation was her practice at putting the face on in front of cameras. Even then, her genial expression was almost strained to breaking as she power-marched through the quiet space of the library towards the computer lab. "Oh, Kyoko! I got a really funny text from you, haha! It was so weird, I thought you might have been hacked or something! I just wanted to talk...?"

She trailed off. Even on her warpath, she wasn't so blind as to fail to notice something was off. There was odd music coming from the computer lab, a kind so out-of-place she couldn't identify it. As she thought harder, she thought it sounded sort of like an old cartoon.

"Kyoko said she was in the library, right...? Not the computer lab. There's probably someone else in there." Even as she said that, Sayaka remembered how out of character that text from Kyoko had seemed. Still, she didn't want to walk in on someone's private time. Checking once more to make sure what she was hearing sounded like a cartoon and not a secret dirty video, she became satisfied when she heard a loud crash and piano keys. "Excuse me," she announced quietly as she slid the door open.

There was only one student in the room, and it definitely wasn't Kyoko. The lilac-colored hair was the same, but it was laced with bright, toothpastey blue highlighting stripes, and it was done up in two big ponytails. The hairdo fully revealed the nape of this woman's neck where Kyoko's long hair would perpetually hide it. Her skin seemed even paler than Kyoko's, almost chalk white. The chair hid most other details of the stranger's form.

The woman had her back to Sayaka, watching a video on the monitor with what looked like deep concentration. As Sayaka drew closer, she became increasingly aware that it was a slapstick cartoon in black and white.

Before the new arrival could process that any further, the woman who definitely couldn't be Kyoko turned her head to look over her shoulder. From that angle, it was clear that her single braid had also survived her new hairdo, although it was covered in ribbons, alternating various striped and polka-dot patterns in the same array of pastel colors. For whatever reason, the smallest movement seemed to elicit a strange squeak from her chair. Beneath a layer of thick white makeup with a big painted-on blue frown, a bright purple ball nose, and a teardrop on the cheek, a woman with Kyoko's piercing purple eyes and her usual calm voice spoke to Sayaka. "Good. You're here. I apologize for the alarming text earlier. Please, have a seat." She pulled out the chair for her friend with oversized yellow gloves.

Sayaka was gradually coming to terms with the fact that the woman in the seat before her was her friend, the Ultimate Detective. She had a million questions, but now that she realized she wasn't going to be having a conventional message about a mean text, she was no longer in battle mode. Besides that, her legs were suddenly feeling weak. She was, after all, seeing something that would make anyone who knew Kyoko well faint. "Uh... Sure... Okay, Kyoko-"

As soon as Sayaka sat down, something incredible happened. The famous Ultimate Pop Sensation, known around the school, the country, and probably the world for her collected beauty and girlish charm, seemed to let out an enormous, air-splitting fart. Well, it was just the sound of one- a bag of air was emptying below her skirt, a whoopee cushion placed by the woman who'd offered the chair.

As Sayaka watched, paralyzed and frozen in a blushing stupor as her brain caught up to the strange noise and sensation, a new, even more startling noise appeared before her. It was raucous laughter, every bit as loud as the rude noise or the strange video playing on the clown's screen. That was, after all, what she was: the Ultimate Detective, covered in clownish facepaint and clothing, was leaning back in her rolling chair, clutching her sides with her huge gloves and and kicking her bright orange yellow-dotted rain boots in the air wildly. So wildly was she laughing, reclining, and kicking, as a matter of fact, that she actually fell backwards out of the chair, splaying out onto the floor and continuing to giggle and guffaw all the while. Both the chair and Kyoko's strange body let out a series of loud squeaks in chorus.

Now that Sayaka could see her friend's full body from above, the weirdness became fully exposed to her. Kyoko's usual cool beauty badass attire and demeanor had vanished, replaced by something out of a nightmare or a particularly embarrassing wet dream, depending on who was the dreamer. Her orange business-appropriate tie was replaced with a huge orange bow tie, polka-dotted in yellow. Her purple leather coat was replaced with a too-small, rubber-textured cyan-colored one, including big puffy pink pompoms in place of buttons and a ridiculous over-sized circular pin bearing the scrunched up words "#1 CLOWN DETECTIVE," as if that was a title with competition. Her formal white shirt remained as a collar around her neck, but was otherwise replaced by a white-dotted teal bra wrapped over big boobs that could accurately be described as "ballooned." Meanwhile, her usual dark skirt was replaced with a wide, poofy and frilly garment that was a patchwork of too many patterns to describe, fixed to rigidly hold too high to cover anything a skirt ought to. And with that business exposed...

"Oh my God!" Sayaka gasped, her eyes growing wide. "Kyoko, what the... W-what's going on with you?!

Sayaka found the source of the strange squeaks that were continuing even now. It had been less clear while Kyoko was seated, but placed in the chair had been a strange balloon animal. It was two round, yellow shapes with a long, banana-like rod, and that was all Sayaka could tell, because if there was more of it, it hidden by Kyoko's body. The thing was shoved up Kyoko's slit, and she'd clearly been riding it this whole time. Kyoko's lower body was somehow painted the same white as the rest of her, and Sayaka couldn't decide if she was more amazed by her toothpaste-dyed pubic hair or her unexpectedly plump bottom, visible even from front view due to its width.

As Kyoko lay on the floor laughing, Sayaka realized there was a thin trickle of drool forming at the corner of the clown's mouth and tears in her eyes. Those purple eyes, which had looked like the only familiar part of her a second ago, were curled into crescents which barely held a memory of the detective's ordinary calm or intelligence.

Since Sayaka wasn't able to say anything, Kyoko was free to wind down her laughing session. She slowly rose to her feet and her squeaky masturbation device came with her, held in place by the rubbing of her plump, exposed thighs against it. "I'm sowwy, Sayaka!" she giggled, talking in a put-on, high-pitched voice. Her ordinarily level-headed voice, which Sayaka might have described as "sultry" before, sounded reminiscent of something Sayaka had last heard from a mascot character at a theme park she'd visited. "I must have misheard you over that big, funny noise just now! Gosh, I didn't know idols could make rude noises like that, hyuk hyuk! Ain't there something about that in your contract? Anyway, says here on my contract," she continued, picking up the pink notepad from the desk in front of her, clearing her throat, and speaking in her ordinary calm voice again. "Ahem, ahyuck. 'My name should be Kooky Sillybilly, the Ultimate Clown Detective. My hair should be in two big ol' colorful pigtails, plus the extra one for making helicopter noises.'" She turned her usual face to Sayaka from the floor and became fully clownish again, crossing her eyes as she clutched her ribboned single braid and began to spin it in alongside her head. "Budda budda budda brrrrrrrm chappa cha chappa cha cha cha! Like that," she transformed back into her detective demeanor again. "'My gloves should be big and yellow and rubber, perfect for slapping my big old balloon-tiful booty and boobies,'" she concluded, slapping her own breasts from side to side idly and making them bounce unrealistically as she kept a mask of her usual expression towards Sayaka, seeming to fight back laughter at her own antics as she did.

"Kyoko-"

"Kooky Sillybilly!" Kyoko repeated herself, baring her teeth in a big grin at odds with her frowning facepaint.

"... Kooky... W-what on earth are you doing in here...?" Any offense at the text Sayaka had received from her friend or the childish prank she'd just pulled was eclipsed by her concern at what she was seeing. The idol didn't have the context that anything supernatural was happening besides Kyoko's newly blown-up proportions, which weren't at the forefront of her mind. Instead, all of it taken together felt like a mental break. Kyoko had worked too hard for too long, and this was a result. "You've gone-"

"Don't say it. I'm a detective. I'll reason it out. The words you're looking for are... twirly wirly? Loosey goosey? Slutty silly? Ooh, ooh, I have it: pussy bananas!!" she laughed at her own inappropriate joke, squeaking her legs together meaningfully as she did so. "Oooohoohoo~!" she moaned, her mouth turning to an obscene "O" as she worked the balloon.

"... That text you sent. Um... Does Makoto know you're doing this? Is he really coming here for a date? Does he know about all this?"

"Well gosh, Girly, I sure as honking hope so and I sure as hoping honk not! I'm looking forward to a carnival date with my little pookie bear, cause, if I can tell you truthful, I think this banana is starting to go bad!" Kyoko screwed up her face and pinched her clown nose, eliciting a high-pitched "honk" as she did. "But I'd pwefuh to shee da look on hish fashe when he'sh shupwished," she spoke in a nasally tone before sticking her tongue out and licking her lips lewdly. "Mmmm...!"

Sayaka wanted to run away and pretend she'd never seen this, but something about the idea of Makoto coming here and seeing it changed her mind. "What's going on with you, Kyoko? I don't understand..."

"What's not to get?" she complained, releasing her nose to put her fists on her hips and pouting. "I decided it's much more fun to be Kooky the Clown than Kyoko the Boring Busybody! That's why I wrote it right in that funny book right there on that funny table."

Sayaka was an idol and not a detective, but that sounded like a clue if she'd ever heard one. Why did Kyoko have a book full of prompts that seemed designed to reaffirm her identity, but filled in with goofy nonsense that matched her new reality? At this point, she was starting to think-

"Grr, you're thinking too hard!" Kyoko complained, stomping her feet with more audible honks. "I'm the #1 clown detective! If anyone's gonna follow up on funny feelings and crazy clues, it's gonna be me!" Kyoko began following a chain of brightly colored handkerchiefs that had at some point been strewn across the computer lab floor while wielding an oversized magnifying glass she'd somehow produced from her oversized cleavage, taking big steps with her back bent in an "L." It had the side effect of tilting up her ringed skirt even more, fully revealing her broad backside that jiggled with each exaggerated step.

Sayaka ignored her. Instead, she looked for something to write over the incorrect text on the page. If she could write in Kyoko's normal name and characteristics, she was feeling confident she could turn her friend back to normal. It wouldn't be the strangest thing she'd seen today.

Suddenly, she let out a girlish squeak as her skirt was lifted up in the back.

"Aha! This trail's as hot as a dancing sensation's tight, poppable booty!" Kyoko declared, having reached the end of her daisy chain. What she was holding and lifting was connected to a place Sayaka couldn't see, linked to something beneath her skirt. And, when Kyoko tugged at it comically, working her tongue on her lips and using all her strength... There was a terrible ripping noise as she hopped backward with two honks. She lifted up her prize triumphantly: a pair of garish pink panties decorated with a huge red heart pierced with an arrow and the white text "SAYAKA & MAKOTO 4 EVER." "Here it is, the smoking gun! I submit this for the inspection of the court. I think this'll explain everything about why Sayaka is being such a stick in the mud and trying to spoil our fun!"

Sayaka thought she was getting numb to the crazy nonsense world she found herself in, but feeling the new, cool sensation of a breezy, bottomless skirt and seeing the incriminating item Kyoko had apparently pulled from her body, she was stunned anew. "You... K-Kyoko, I swear, I was NOT wearing that!!"

"Mmm, you can't fool this bloodhound's nose!" Kyoko pointed to her ball nose once more and smiled at Sayaka with a smug look on her face. As she did, a strange new look came over her, as if her crossed eyes were trying to look at the round rubber nose. Her teeth clenched in a mix of humiliation, anger, and fear. "N-no, Sayaka, I'm not- a Sillybilly! I'm a reeeally silly big-bunned bouncy-boobied- circus freak! Please, Sayaka, you have to do something about this before Makoto arrives and- finds out he's into goofy girlies! Say, maybe a little time in the makeup chair would do you-"

"No no no! Oh God no!" Sayaka gasped in horror, feeling new urgency as she saw Kyoko pinball between amusement and anguish. She grabbed the notebook off the desk and began desperately crossing out the incorrect words. She'd fix this... if Kyoko was about to start some sort of clown-transformation spree, she was not about to become the first victim!