Ruin. Kind of.

Almost everything was in shambles. Furniture was turned over or on its side, and nobody was to be found anywhere. My jaw couldn’t help dropping at the sight as my five futanari slaves followed after me. Berta asked “Uh... this is supposed to look less... bad, right?” I could barely hear her, drawn more by one single cell phone left in the center of the room. And I did mean cell phone, this thing was an old-style flip phone for sure. It had a folded up note next to it.

“We have your women. Call us when you’re ready to negotiate.

Signed, the Holy Order of the Pure Lillies”

I gasped. It couldn’t be, could it? That Deus Vult drawback was supposed to make them hunt me down and try to interrogate me, not kidnap my loved ones! Unless... this was all part of a plan... Beverly had read over my shoulder, replying “Well, that’s certainly dire. What’s our options? I assume we’re not killing them in favor of filling their wombs with your seed, but how do you suppose we do that?”

Kurt chimed in with “Stop time and scour the globe for them!” Well, I would if that wouldn’t take too long. Plus, in this world stuff can be way better hidden and easier to miss. I’d need to spend centuries searching. Alice as well with “Hypnotize them with the Smartphone, and crush their minds!” Also an option, but there’s bound to be a bunch that are too mentally strong for the Hypnosis to affect them. Kate, much less used to actually coming up with good plans during a crisis, stuttered “W-Write them a n-n-nice note a-asking for your w-w-wives back...?” as she pointed to my bag. Oh, wait, yeah actually, could the Normality Dial or Notebook help somehow?

It was then I remembered the Normality Notebook’s listed rule about Irregularities. They always appear, people and things that go against the Normal Order of a Normality. The Holy Order of the Pure Lillies had to be an irregularity within this world itself, right? Could I still affect them?

“Oh, wait, they’re an irregularity in the world itself. I can just have a Normality apply to the group by default.” I remembered. Okay, it has to be something that could help me make sure they wouldn’t harm anyone in my harem anymore... heck, maybe even join it.

Then it hit me. Duh, of course I should do that one! I switched on my Normality Dial, switching the small hand to the Upright Contemporary position, I quickly said “I normally know about the Holy Order of the Pure Lillies.” just to see if what was in the pamphlet worked.

Instantly, I knew that they were an ancient order of lesbian nuns dedicated to saving the pure women of the world from the Terrible Defiler, a being that would exploit their bodies to create new and salacious progeny. They grouped up in pairs, and only went as far as cunnilingus and kissing to keep their virginities safe, as they were still nuns.

Wow, hearing about my goals from their point of view really makes me out like some sex-crazy pervert... oh, wait, maybe I am? Well, either way, I’m still gonna make them Immortal and Tireless Slaves after I finish taking them over, so I guess it doesn’t matter too much. That but about them being lesbians might complicate this next part, though...

Switching the little hand to the Right Old setting, I continued “The members of the Holy Order of Pure Lillies normally have a fascination, fixation, and interest in having sex, specifically basic no-condom-penis-in-vagina-with-a-creampie sex, with me. Any members of the Order that do have sex with me normally get somewhat of an addiction to it, possibly reaching the level of a dependency. This addiction normally isn’t an issue for any members of the Order if they willingly get pregnant from sex with me, keeping the pleasure with none of the habit-forming. This taboo is normally allowed by the higher ups of the Order, as they all normally have the same urges to bear my children themselves. All members of the Holy Order of the Pure Lillies normally know about these urges.” As I said it, I retroactively remembered that the Order was composed entirely out of bisexual women, so I guess that settles some worries I had. Hopefully that can give me an edge against them if I try to negotiate.

I flipped open the phone, finding a number already dialed it, and hit Call. After a few rings, a woman’s voice answered “We want you to come to the address XXXX Placeholder Street at 5:00 pm. Don’t bring anything. No items, no friends. Nothing. If you do we can’t guarantee their safety.” I replied “You know I made them immortal, right? You can’t kill them. Also, I can restore their bodies if you permanently injure them too.” The voice continued “Then you’ll never see them again. Or the children in their wombs.”

I sighed “Now, that’s the part I was actually concerned about. It’s no secret that all of you want to jump my bones, so how about we just get it over with? If you all go to one place, I swear on my life and the lives of every woman I’ve sworn to take care of that I’ll go there and you can all do what you want with me. I won’t fight it, either.” There was a pause as I heard muffled voices on the other end. I guess they really had to consider it. The voice then answered “We can do as we will once you’re in our custody.” I scoffed “Oh, and all of you being addicts of me is perfectly livable too, right? Except I can make myself infertile at a thought. You’re a huge order, and I’m one man. I’m not gonna be able to leave you all satisfied unless I get to knock some of you up, and I’m not gonna do that unless you choose to join up with me. You can kidnap me or **** me, I’m still not going to give you what you want without something equal in exchange.” while mentally putting my fertility way low, just in case they had tranquilizers trained on me right now.

The line went quiet, until the voice said “Come to the address at 5:30 instead. Bring what you want.” before hanging up. As she did, the phone in my hands started smoking. I guess they’re good about cutting loose ends. I took a deep breath, and checked my regular phone that was still in my pocket. The clock on it said 4:15, so I guess I had an hour and a quarter to get ready whatever I was going to do.

I muttered to myself “Okay, I have a watch that can stop time, a phone that can hypnotize people, a watch and a notebook that can alter the world’s normals, and five Futanari slaves. Oh, wait, right, also one of them is a superdoctor.” Yup, I could make something work.

Once I had made all of my preparations, I walked into the address they gave me, which turned out to be an empty warehouse, with Kurt, Kate, Alice, Berta, and Beverly in tow. I whispered “So, we’re all square on what the plan is, right?” “Yup.” “Yeah.” “Uh-huh.” “Mm-hm.” “Of course.”

Sighing in relief, I took a look at what exactly we had walked into. The inner expanse of the place itself was without any big noticeable installations or objects. The only thing really present was a cart that had a television plugged into some kind of mobile power generator. Oh, and next to the TV, on the cart, was a sign that read “Come Over Here”.

Deciding to humor the sign, I walked towards the cart with my entourage. Once I got close enough the TV it turned itself on, showing four video frames arranged in a basic 2x2 grid. The upper left, lower right, and lower left frames all depicted old, but very attractive women in basic nun habits that each had a badge with a stylized symbol of a lily clipped to it. I’m definitely not interested in old ladies, but even I had to admit these women were downright GMILF’s. And in the upper right frame... was my girls. Victoria, Alexandra, Miyo, Jamie, Mary, Zynthia, Yui, Melissa, Gwedillth, and my mother Charlotte. From the angle of the shot, they were in some kind of holding cell, shown through a security camera trained on them. They seemed okay enough, seeing as they weren’t crying or visibly afraid in their prison.

I started by asking “So what’s with the pageantry? Why not see me in person? If I understand things right, you wanna kidnap me and interrogate me, right?” The lower left nun scoffed “And you think we don’t know how you add to your collection of slaves? The moment we got close we’d be under your control, our very eyes betraying our new allegiance to you, even if our minds say we aren’t being commanded.” The upper left nun continued “We’re going to take you into custody and drain everything we can out of you. And we do mean everything...” with a somewhat sinister smirk on her face. The lower right nun finished “And don’t think that we’re stuck in the dark ages. We can keep you in a facility populated by drones with no minds to control, specially **** and gassed so none of us could be in danger of getting enslaved when maintenance needs to be done. You have no other option, if you want to see your other slaves again. Come quietly, and we’ll be sure to put you in the same cell as them.” as out of the shadows, squadrons of small lightweight drones carrying small tranquilizer dart guns flew into focus, all aimed at me.

I narrowed my eyes. “You really think you can **** me? You know what, okay. You can try it. See what happens.” I said, holding out my arms as if to make sure all of the drones could get a good shot at me. With a scowl, the lower left nun pressed a button on a smartphone she pulled up into frame, and immediately all of the drones shot at us, covering our chests in multiple tranquilizer darts. “Thanks for letting us know you and your slaves were immortal, by the way. It saves us the trouble of making sure the dose is non lethal.” she chuckled.

I sighed, slowly and calmly pulling out each dart as my companions did the same. Kurt grumbled “Jeez, you didn’t tell me it’d sting like this!” wincing as she pulled a dart out of a weird spot on her back she could barely reach. Alice retorted “Well, they’re darts, they stab into you a little, why wouldn’t they hurt?” as she pulled one out her arm with a yelp. Kate wondered “Maybe the tranquilizers in em’ make it so you don’t feel it?” idly poking her finger with one of the dart tips as if to test her theory. Berta shouted “Wait, then why’d we do that other thing!?” as one of them got pulled out of a particularly sore spot on one of her boobs. Beverly chuckled “Obviously, I gave us all the treatment so that no **** would be able to affect us. As well as generally enhance our physiologies so as to make sure we were conscious and aware enough to know where exactly we were going. Seeing as that was the plan, right Master?” as she pulled a dart from her neck.

Once I pulled my darts out I replied “Yeah, exactly. And since we’re putting all our cards on the table...” and opened up a Planeswalker portal. I poked my head in, said “Okay, now.” to the people on the other side, and pulled it back out. Soon, the Hero and her Party, as well as Kurt’s personal group of would-be **** victims, all stepped through the portal to stand alongside us. I clarified “That’s a portal to a dimension where people can use magic and fight monsters with their bare hands. I can make one of those portals whenever I want. So, you were never gonna be able to keep me in your custody.”

The three nuns in the video call were seething, so I quickly added on “But, that doesn’t mean I won’t talk, or anything. I like to think I’m a good guy, and like to demonstrate it whenever I can afford to. You want me to answer questions, I can do that, just let them come back to me first.” while pointing to my initial slaves, hoping they’d accept a compromise. Though they were still angry, the least angry one, the lower left one asked “Would you be willing to not enslave any of our nuns that come into contact with you?”

I thought about it, a hand on my chin, and eventually replied “I’m going to level with you. I have the ability to make my slaves younger, immortal, not need to eat or sleep, and make them fertile. The thing I’m aiming for is to make everyone on this planet immortal while not requiring any kind of consumption aside from information. Only thing is... sometimes people will get sick of it. I know that. So if people want to be mortal, I’d understand. I know I control people’s minds, but I want to try and make them genuinely happy without altering things about them. Please believe me when I say that. So, to finally answer your question, I wouldn’t do what they didn’t want me to do in the first place.” while not mentioning how I literally took over the entire Fantasia World with that same Mind Control power. It’d detract from the point, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to take over this planet anyways.

This seemed to give the nuns pause, and the lower right nun asked “And you need people to be enslaved to give them those gifts? You can’t just let them go and leave them as you make them?” I solemnly shook my head, since I had already tried that in Fantasia World’s Time Stop and failed. The upper left nun asked “And would you command us to do something we wouldn’t normally do?” as her eyes narrowed. I answered “I mean, the most I’d probably do at this point would be to have one of your people answer me honestly about if you were trying to double-cross me. Or answer honestly if I ask them what I could do to make them happy... I guess it’d just be to make them be honest with me, then.”

Each of the nuns began typing something at a keyboard that I suppose had been in front of each of them this entire time. From how long they were going at it, I guess they were holding a secret chat that I couldn’t listen to. Still real worried they were gonna put me in a cell if I let my guard down, but them’s the breaks.

Finally, they all replied, in unison “The Holy Order of the Pure Lillies agrees to a ceasefire with the Mindslaver John Doe and his forces for the time being. Further terms will be negotiated in the future. For now, expect your slaves to be returned to you the following day.”

Alright! That went well. I motioned for Saria and the others I summoned to go back to their own world, promising to return in a week or so. With that matter settled, we all made our way back to my mom’s house, which had gotten cleaned up after we left. A note was left on the newly righted coffee table reading “Apologies for the mess. We’ll be in touch.”