Harleen Quinzel - DC Universe

Ivy comfortably sat on her couch with a single mug of coffee held by her slender fingers. She was gently blowing on the slow-moving steam that danced above the mug's warm contents. It was a peaceful morning, one that left both her and her wonderful family of plants to bathe in the gentle glow from the rising sun.

Very calming...

...and apparently too calming.

"IVES!"

THAAMP

A red-painted boot kicked open the front door. Harley staggered into the apartment wearing nothing but a single boot, backpack, and a tight set of black and red underwear. She dropped to the floor; her bleached-white tits jiggled hypnotically. Clear traces of what used to be her typical outfit, a black and red crop top and tight spandex booty shorts, were being slowly seared off her body by miniature blue flames.

"One! Zatanna's a bitch... and two..." She groaned and stretched her arm back behind her head until she heard a POP. "I need to get fucking powers..."

"N-" Ivy blinked and promptly rose to her feet after placing down her mug. "No, you need to get that fucking fire away from my plants."

"What?" Harley tilted her head and glanced down at herself. "Oh shit."

"Look Harls. You don't need powers. You are perfectly fine and capable the way you are. I mean, if anything powers are just a crutch." Ivy yawned. "If you ask me. We could all live perfectly fine lives without them. Especially us, we are strong, capable.. independent women, we don't need powers to make us powerful."

Harley sat on Ivy's couch with her legs crossed. Her lips were held flatly as she stared on at her green-skinned friend with an unamused look.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." Ivy responded through a muffle as she drank from her coffee mug.

"Yes." Harley rolled her eyes. "You just ooze independence. It's really inspiring."

Ivy's eyes shot open. "Was that sarcasm?"

"Sarcasm!? Whhaatt? Yes. Look at you!"

"What about me- Ooooh, yeah I see your point," Ivy admitted she wasn't giving off the best show since she was currently being held up by a series of plant vines which formed a literal throne of shrubbery. Flowers circled around her coffee and were holding the mug up against her lips while long leaves extended around her toes to give her a foot massage.

"But what I said still stan- oh... mmm...ye'h.. yeah... Ahhhhnhnmm..." The plant woman let out a stifled moan of pleasure then gently licked her lips. "Ohhh right there...mmmnnnnnn..." A single vine snaked its way up her foot and leg to right behind her knee and lower thigh, where it began to gently stroke at her thick flesh.

"Ives."

"Oh!! Right!" Ivy blinked back to life. With a dismissive wave, the flower holding her mug backed away; without having to exert a single muscle, her plant throne was lowered down to be at the level of the couch. "Yeah, powers are overrated."

"Uh- Huh."

"No I'm serious." Ivy's plant throne turned around to face the television while a vine picked up the remote and handed it to her. "I mean, shit. Did you see the news? Look at.. uh..." She turned on the T.V and flipped through channels until she reached a live broadcast. "Condiment King! No powers, but still taking on Wonder Woman like an absolute uni- Oh fuck he lost pretty damn fast." She ended her sentence rather quickly under her breath while Harley scoffed from behind.

"You see!?" Harley pointed an accusatory finger to the screen. It displayed a top-down view of an open street. Wonder Woman floated in the air behind the blue spandex-wearing villain; a glowing lasso was holding down him and his two large canisters of condiments. "He didn't stand a fucking chance!"

"Hey, he lasted about... ten seconds, that's something."

"She's a god. Like- she's literally a god!"

"And? He's a nerd with a pickle on his head, shooting ketchup and fucking mustered. The fact he even got the news to film this shit is amazing."

Harley rolled her eyes. "They only showed up because Wonder Woman was there."

"And why did Wonder Woman show up?"

"I dunno." Harley said with a sigh and a shrug. "She was probably getting a burger across the street or something."

"Alright, fine!" Ivy grabbed the remote and fiddled with the T.V. "Look at last week's news! Cheshire took Wonder Woman down to a stalemate without needing any powers and-"

"She already lost." Harley crossed her arms below her breasts. The screen showed Cheshire being tied down by Wonder Woman's lasso in the middle of the exact same street that Condiment King had his ten seconds of fame.

"Calm down. This is the end. I'm going to skip to the start of the fight. Pretty sure she lasted thirty seconds or something..."

"That is what I'm talking about Ives! We can't do anything without powers!"

"That's just a fucking excuse. Here, loot at Killer Moth! The man has no superpowers, but he's still going toe to toe with..." The screen showed Wonder Woman floating in the same street with Killer Moth tied down by her lasso. "Nevermind, uh... Hush! He had Wonder Woman on the ropes until... Shiva! A master assassin with no powers and can take on literal armies of metas by herself. She put Wonder Woman on the ropes until... fuck... until she got tied down by Wonder Woman's rope and... Clock King! Shit, he didn't last five seconds."

Every video Ivy pulled up of news footage showed a powerless villain being tied down by Wonder Woman in the exact same street at differing times of the day.

"Okay I never realized how popular this street is for petty crime," Ivy said. "What are these people even doing there?"

"Losing to Wonder Woman because they don't have fucking powers."

"Oh! Look at the news now! Kite Man is fighting Wonder Woman and... FUCK! He's an idiot! Why did he think he could beat her without any powers!? Guuhhhhhh...." Ivy sighed an extended and agonized sigh. "I need to break him out of Arkham." She said while getting up from her throne and casually stretching. "We were supposed to go see that new flick tonight. The one with that bird and the thing that did the... whatever. He's a fucking idiot."

After Ivy left the apartment, Harley stayed in her position for thirty whole minutes; though, it felt like it went on for multiple hours. All the while, she was brainstorming ways to gain some kind of power. Just something that can make her stand out from all the other powerless failures who can't stand a chance against someone with a special gift. Maybe she could go over to S.T.A.R. Labs? They seem to always be making meta's on accident almost every Monday.

Shit.

It's Tuesday.

She can't wait a whole fucking week.

Groaning. Harley collapsed onto the floor and spent an absent look at her bag. Like the rest of her clothes, it was seared but still intact enough to hold her shit. But what shit did she manage to steal? Fucking nothing. Nothing except a stupid notebook. She built up an amazing plan to break in on Zatanna while she was busy showering and find some magic item. It worst the item would be weak or pointless as fuck, and she could sell it to some idiot crimelord. Or the item could be some omega-level shit, and she could use it to become a criminal goddess. But apparently, that was hoping for too much.

Her planning did fuck all. The effort was definitely not rewarded. She wasn't met with some powerful artifact but a pissed-off, flustered, and embarrassed master magician. Who nearly burned her by turning whatever item she could find into a blue-flaming projectile. Sure, whatever, it was her fault she got curious and decided to sneak into the bathroom to get a peek at a naked Zatanna. But that sexy silhouette was... fucking sexy. Not even a fully straight chick could completely ignore that figure!

Harley pulled out the only thing she managed to get from Zatanna. A useless notebook that was slightly burned. It was one of the many things the magician threw towards her as she tried to escape. Zatanna was in some shocked rage, so she sent whatever she could grab while using the shower curtain to hide her naked body.

For some reason, despite the book having been surrounded by a literal undying blue flame, it only appeared to be slightly charred. Everything else she tossed burned into ash. But not this book.

Maybe that's what's special about it. Harley rolled her eyes. It's fireproof.

Out of nothing but a bout of sheer boredom, Harley opened the book; in the first page was a miniature pen that appeared to expand as the book opened. Text that looked like complete gibberish was written on the top of the page, though it was in a different language. Before she could even consider to piece together what the text said, the words appeared to reform into English.

''Tome of Reality''

"Hmm?"

Directly below those words rested the pen.

"Reality... huh..." Harley picked up the pen and wrote down.

''I'm wearing pink socks.''

Then she felt...

...

...

..nothing...

Harley scoffed and slammed the book shut. The pen shrunk down as the pages moved closed, and it disappeared. Why did she even write that? It was just some notebook Zatanna had with her in the bathroom for some fucking reason. And she just wrote those words to fuck with anyone who happened to steal it.

Like, what did she expect to happen? She took off her right boot, just to see that she, in fact wasn't wearing a pink soc-

Holy shit.

She took off her other boot.

A pink sock.

"HOLY SHIT THAT BOOK IS MAGIC!"