I am ashamed of myself

The next morning, I wake up first … and I remember everything that happened last night. Even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t take me long to find out. My boobs are still hanging out of my bra. My panties are still pushed to the side. And the most damning piece of evidence, is Roland’s dried sperm sticking to my belly.

What have I done? I have cheated on my boyfriend. How could I do this to Darx? I love him, don’t I? But then why did I let Roland fuck me? Sex means something, right? Did I develop feelings for Roland without knowing? Do I still even love Darx? Have my feelings changed? Have I fallen for Roland now?

I get out of bed and immediately head to the bathroom. There I take off my lingerie and quickly get into the bath. I feel like such a dirty slut. Perhaps, if I bathe with extra soap, I can feel clean again and forget this ever happened. But as I clean Roland’s sperm off my belly, I am **** to watch the pussy that allowed a dick other than my boyfriend’s inside. I truly am a weak woman.

At breakfast, Mimizu tells us that she has healed Craig enough that he can fight again. Same for Leonora. That means we can go back to Riledo. Merlara says that she has been able to sell enough dragon-beetle shells already that we can now shove the leftovers in our bags-of-holding. We don’t even need to borrow a cart now. As soon as breakfast is over, we pack our stuff and start on our way back to Riledo.

The six of us have to walk now, but that’s fine. We’re C ranks, we can handle it. As we walk, the lot of us talk a lot about the whole adventure. The ambush, the fight, the dragon beetles, the extensive amount of frog meat on the menu, the village itself, …

Except for me. I didn’t say much. My thoughts were all focused on what happened last night.

I keep on wondering how it all happened. Was my love for Darx simply not strong enough? Did my love for him weaken because of our seperation? Was he just a crush and not real love? I could just pretend like it never happened. I could tell Roland that what we did was a mistake. The only reason it happened was because he found me in a moment of weakness. But even if I pretend I never cheated on Darx, deep inside, I’ll always remember this one time. I can’t even go 3 months without him close to me. How on earth am I supposed to keep this a secret from him for the rest of my life?

After a whole day of walking, we set up camp and have ourselves a meal. Leonora even takes out her lute and plays a song for us. Roland comes to sit next to me. I don’t really feel like being close to him now. It’s because of him that I cheated on Darx. But I also don’t want the others to think there is something between me and Roland so I let him sit next to me.

When it was time for us to sleep, Roland and I get the first watch. Great, the one person I don’t want to be on watch with.

Once the others are in their tents, Roland has a walk around the camp and checks out the surroundings a bit. I stick with the camp fire and throw a few more piece of firewood on it. When Roland comes back, he takes a seat next to me.

“Hey, are you alright,” Roland asks.

“Yeah.” I say. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I’ve noticed you avoiding me this whole day.” Roland replies.

I look away and sigh. I guess he was bound to notice.

“It’s about last night, isn’t it?”

“Roland, I …” I start, but he cuts me off.

“Mia, I want you to know that I didn’t do it because I wanted to take advantage of you.” Roland explains. “I have wasted quite a bit of my time by trying to go after Merlara. You were the first person to tell me directly. Even Merlara was never direct. I guess she thought I was smart enough to take the hint. Looks like I was dumber than she thought I was.”

“Roland, you’re not dumb.”

“I sure feel dumb.” He continues. “I needed someone like you to spell it out for me. And at first, I was even angry at you. But then I thought about it and … You said what I needed to hear. So, thank you.”

Well, at least it’s nice that he thinks fondly of me. I only wish I could go back in time one day and do that night over. Then I wouldn’t make the mistake of cheating on Darx and I wouldn’t be a ball of self-loathing right now.

“And what I told you last night, I really meant it.” Roland goes on. “Next time we’re in a fight, I’ll be your shield once more. And not just because I am this party’s knight, but because I care for you.”

I look up and look into Roland’s eyes. I see hope and confidence in them and I start to feel my heart beat faster. No, Roland. Please don’t. If you keep this up then I …

But Roland lays his arm across my shoulders and he comes so close that our foreheads touch.

“I don’t see sex as something to do to pass the time, Mia.” He says. “You don’t do it with just about anyone. Only with someone special.”

“I think the same.” I reply.

“When you lay there crying next to me, it had me feeling even more worried then when that archer bandit stood over you. At least in that battle I knew that I could help you. But when I saw your tears, I didn’t quite know how to help and … I don’t know, I think it made me realize just how special you were to me. It was first my intention to leave it at a kiss, but then the entire moment got out of hand.”

Well, that’s putting it mildly.

“T-that’s putting it mildly.” I tell with a very soft and fragile voice.

“What I’m trying to say is, if you would allow me, I am willing to be your shield forever. Both in combat and outside.”

Roland then brings his lips to mine again and gives them a small kiss. It’s just a peck, but it’s enough to make my resistances melt again. How does he do that? Why does he have such an effect on me? I should pull away from his kiss, but I don’t. Even when he comes back for a second kiss, I don’t pull away either. I do feel a warmth coming from inside my chest. And at the third kiss, I am already kissing him back. I truly am a weak woman.

Roland and I continue making out for a while, until he decides to take off his gauntlets. I look away from him while he is taking them off. I should be loyal to Darx and tell Roland no. But it was Roland I could rely on and save me from that archer. I know it’s not Darx’s fault for not being here. He holds no blame. But still. When I needed someone, it was Roland who was there for me. Not even once, but twice.

Roland then grabs my chin with his fingers and lifts my head back to face him. If only he wasn’t so reliable. Merlara has no idea what she is missing.

Roland starts kissing me again, and this time, he pulls me onto him. I even get up a bit to more easily sit on his lap. Then I place my hands on his shoulder plates and our kissing continues. His armor feels cold, but it also makes his shoulders feel broader.

In the meantime, Roland’s hands roam my body. A lot of my chest armor is made of leather. It follows the shape of my body well and I can feel when his hands are on my hips and when they are on my chest. When he starts undoing the straps, I pause my kisses and watch his hands. One by one, he undoes the straps until he opens up my armor and exposes my bra covered chest. I just watch in silence.

With my chest armor open, Roland brings his hands inside and touches my breasts. He kisses my neck again. I let my head hang back while enjoying his touch. For months I have been wanting to be touched like this. I should never have gone to Riledo when I did. I should have stayed in the village. Stayed and trained with Darx. I should be home and on Darx’s lap right now. But then Emma would have been all alone in Riledo.

When I feel Roland unbuttoning my pants, I look between us. His hands are working on the buttons, opening them. I sit back and let him. Then he slides his hand inside. At first, he caresses my panties. Then he pulls his hand back out, slides it back inside my pants, except this time also inside my panties, and this time he caresses my pussy. Feeling him touch me there make me gasp.

I look into Roland’s eyes and he asks, “Can you return the favor?”

I nod and then I bring my hands to Roland’s crotch. There is a codpiece there. A metal slab to keep his dick protected, but it can also be removed separately from his armor. In case he needs to piss. I take it off and release his erect dick. Then I wrap one of my hands around it and start masturbating him. In return, Roland slides two fingers inside my pussy and starts masturbating me as well.

Roland brings his other hand around my back and pulls me close to him. Our noses touch and our mouths are so close and wide open. We are breathing onto each other. By now, the lust that has been building up in me is so great that I press my mouth on Roland’s and push my tongue inside his mouth. I couldn’t stop myself. My need was simply too great.

After another couple of minutes like this, Roland asks me to get on my hands and knees. I know why he wants me to. I know what to expect if I do. Still, I get up, turn my back to him, and obediently get on my hands and knees.

The first thing Roland does to me while I am in this position, is grab my pants and panties and he pulls them down.

“I’m sorry, Darx.” I think to myself as Roland gets on his knees behind me. “But I’m afraid I’ve simply become more in love with Roland than you.”

That is when Roland lines up his dick with my vagina and fills my pussy with his dick a second time.

Having accepted that I am Roland’s girl now, I am able to let myself go. No more doubting, no more guessing. This is how things are now. So, I embrace the pleasure Roland is giving me and I even start pushing my hips back.

The tents of our party members are all around us. Inside, the 4 of them are sleeping soundly. To our left the campfire is burning. And Roland and I, who are supposed to be holding watch, are having sex instead.

He has both his hands on my hips and is thrusting his dick into my wet pussy over and over. I push my hips back and meet his thrusts. He feels so good inside me. Yet my breasts feel confined. I bring one hand to my chest and pull my bra down, causing my boobs to jump free. Finally, my boobs can bounce with every one of Roland’s thrusts. This must have been how it felt for Leonora when Craig did her yesterday afternoon. She is now no longer the only girl of my party who can get laid.

My new lover and I continue fucking next to the campfire. We even stop being careful with our moans. Part of me is afraid we might cause Merlara to wake up and have her come out to chastise us.

When I get close to orgasm, I remember how Leonora asked Craig to pull on her ears.

“Pull on my hair, Roland. Pull my hair, please.” I beg.

Roland quickly grabs a handful of my hair and pulls on it.

“Aaahh.” I moan. “I’m cumming. Oh, goddess, I’m cumming.”

“I’m almost there too.” Roland replies.

“Not inside.” I tell him. “Not tonight. Cum on my butt.”

Roland continues pounding me until I cum. Just like last night, he lets me cum on his dick while he holds back his orgasm. The feeling of having his big thick rod inside me where my fingers can’t reach while my juicy pussy contracts and sucks on his dick. It feels so good.

Just before my orgasm ends, Roland suddenly pulls out. Just in time too, because then I feel warm splashes on my butt. Just where I told him to.

After sex is done, I again silently apologize to Darx. I feel sorry for him. Back home, he is thinking we are still together. But I have now moved on. I need to let him know. As soon as I get back to the guild hall, I will write him a letter.

“It is sad, though.” I think as I pull my panties back up. “I would have loved to have children with beautiful red eyes.”