And yet another conversation.

Chapter 82

You are not really undisturbed, but the spot on the beach to which you led Susan is remote enough. A few groups of teenagers sit on the sand with beer bottles or other beverages. Some bonfires burn and the music from the splash!!! sounds dully over the sand and the water. The mood is cheerful and exuberant and you see dancing bodies with their feet in the water and laughing people can be seen almost everywhere. Susan, on the other hand, looks out of place in this setting and pouts while you look for a somewhat secluded spot. Together you sit in the sand. You took off your shoes - you don't like the sand. It's It's coarse, rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

"Well then, tell me" you begin as you dig your toes into the cool sand and nudge Susan with the shoulder. But she can't get through her barrier and so you have to use your secret weapon. Before you left, you ordered two more bottles of beer from the bartender. He looked at you skeptically, but capitalism also has its advantages. Now you pass a bottle to Susan and you don't feel very good doing it. But getting behind her secret is also important and you won't have much time before you go home and the chance to understand the two sisters is over. On the way to the beach, you wondered if that was even important, the two of them are more friends with Millie than you, and apart from the games you played with them, you don't have much to do with them. But if Claire is happy on your lap and Susan reacts badly to it, the consequences could be dire and the last thing you want is for the two of them to argue about you. In addition, you have already played enough shit with them and taken them to your heart. And what Millie says about them doesn't leave you without responsibility. Susan takes the bottle in silence and looks at you questioningly. "Only one more today," you tell her in a friendly but serious manner and let the cap of your bottle pop open. You have the light version of the strong stuff but you treat Susan to the real material. And it seems to be working. You give her a few minutes and she seems ready.

"I thought it was you," she mumbles and her feet in the black shoes dig into the sand. Then she pulls her legs up against her body and wraps her arms around them, keeping the bottle in her hands. "The boy who danced to me." When you start to laugh, she looks at you reproachfully. You raise your hands apologetically, but can't stop enjoying yourself.

“With the way he danced? He was way better than me."

“That's not what I mean!” roars the girl next to you, but immediately calls herself to calm down. "I don't mean that at all," she mumbles again. Of course you know what she means, your little sister has given you enough information and Melina has also improved your point of view.

“But what was wrong with the guy? Fine, his hair was weird, but he seemed nice."

"But he wasn't..." Angry, Susan breaks off, grabs a handful of sand and hurls it away. “Fuck!” Several young people a campfire next to you look over, but quickly lose interest again. "Why are you encouraging Claire to be so childish?" It sounds more like an accusation than a question. "Do you like that? Cry and cuddle?” She spits poison at you and her eyes sparkle with anger.

"For Claire, I am what she needs." Your voice is firm and determined and duels with her's for control. You won't win as easily here as with Claire or Denise. You could end it with a serious word, but that would only make things worse in hindsight. So you have to put up with the cutting answer the older sister has for you.

"Claire doesn't need a..." At first she doesn't have the words and you almost have to laugh again when she tries, wringing her hands and with puffed cheeks, to vent her anger. "No... guy who tells her she can cry as she likes without fear of the consequences. She doesn't need someone to tell her her to feel weak is okay.” You don't know him, but you can hear her father from her words. "If you continue to treat her like this, she'll be as soft as your little..." Susan breaks off and realizes by herself that she is about to go too far. You don't have to look angry at her before she swallows her words. Susan is clever and knows what topics she shouldn't bring up with you. Still, there is something good about her near slip.

"And what would be so bad about that?" you ask the girl and your voice make her very small.

"Nothing at all," she mumbles and looks to the side. You snort and it sounds a little too harsh even to your ears. But Susan deals with the pressures her family puts on her in a different way. Where Claire is looking for closeness and the assurance of being allowed to be weak from time to time, Susan takes the path of strength. You know this path, you have walked it yourself for years and it has ultimately led you to the goal you always wanted to. But you owe that to your siblings, and Susan hasn't learned that important lesson yet.

“I don't think that's how you see it, Susan,” you reply and the older McKinley looks at you out of the corner of her eye. She does not contradict. You are far beyond that point. You lean back and look at the stars above you. They are not as clearly visible through the city lights as they are at your house, but you can still see a few constellations. You ask yourself whether you can go as far with Susan as with her sister or Denise, but you always get the same answer. “Susan, I don't know your family well, I'll admit that. Talking to your parents is not enough to understand your situation. But I know enough from my experiences with my sisters that life is not always easy.” You tilt your head and look at the girl. She looks down her legs into the furrowed sand under her feet. "But you have something that not everyone has in life." Susan looks at you and you can see hope in her look. "You have Claire." The hope dies immediately.

"Claire?" She almost sounds hurt. "How is this baby supposed to help me?" No, not hurt, angry. “It's me who has to help her with homework. I do the household chores so she can train on the violin. When I need help on the piano, nobody is there, but when Claire ... oh forget it." She looks at you defiantly. “Claire is given everything and I have to work for everything just because I'm a damn year older than her. And I never get a 'thank you' for always giving up everything."

"Do you really think Claire has an easier life than you?" Perhaps you misjudged the two of them when they got into your car at home. A few days ago they both looked carefree and when they started flirting with you they also looked like they were working in a team. But the moment one of them got closer to the goal than the other, the friendship is broken.

"What kind of question is that?" replies Susan angrily. “You just have to look at how you treat her? Just a few tears and she'll get everything she wants from you.” So that how it is. Susan is also too deeply involved in the difficulties of her life to be able to think outside the box. Megan had the same problems. And you know how to get rid of things like that.

"Susan, Claire is just as afraid in life as you" you giggle and don't answer the previous question.

“I'm not afraid” it comes to you defiantly.

“Fear can have many faces,” you smile. “It's not about who gets the better grades or who gets along better with their parents. Claire looks up at you, wants to be just as strong as you and is mad at herself when she fails."

“You can't even know that. You said yourself, you don't know us well enough."

“I don't have to know you guys for that either, believe me. That's human. You are both in a difficult position and both try to deal with it."

"But Claire is always successful with what she is doing and I..."

"Claire is just trying to get what you want too." You shake your head. “Apparently closeness and recognition are rare goods in your family. You argue fight it because there is too little from it. And believe me, Claire never hears ’well done’ from her parents as well.” Now you look at her and when her gaze hesitantly turns to you, you establish a fragile connection to Susan. Now all you have to do is use it wisely. “That's why you wished it was me who danced with you today, right? That would mean that you would have won again after yesterday evening.” Susan wrestles with herself but then nods bravely.

"I was hoping... I don't know either."

"That you can win and spend time with someone who recognizes your achievements?" You're right and Susan proves it to you in a sad way.

“I've done just as much as she does. I set the table, made breakfast and everything that she did,” she says, hurt and also a bit ashamed. It is not easy for her to attack her sister, and your opinion of her parents continues to sink as you realize what a rivalry they have fomented between the two sisters. Their motives are certainly noble, after all, Susan and Claire regularly get better grades in school than Millie and the material of their 'homework' would keep you occupied for weeks. But none of that is of any use when a simple hug on your part and the display of affection throws the two so thoroughly off track. You shake your head again and notice the guilty looks Sosan sends to you. It's not a pleasant topic for her either.

“I can understand how you feel. I treated Maureen like that for a long time and only recently realized how bad it must have been for her. But we both, and Millie and Megan, know that arguments don't solve anything.” Your hand brushes her's and it's as if you're electrifying her. Her whole body stiffens and you pull back, only to watch her hand snap forward and grab yours. "Come on," you grin and cross your fingers with hers. "Admit your weakness and tell me that you wanted that." You squeeze her hand encouragingly and get a short, ticked nod. “You don't have to be ashamed to allow weakness to happen. That doesn't make you a failure right away."

“I'm just not as good at it as Claire. She can just let go and throw herself in your arms," grows Susan annoyed. “And I always have to be the strong one. The big sister. The one who always does everything right. But I want to be allowed to do that too, walk on the easy way.” In an emotional environment such as you and your siblings created it is no problem. But in the world of rivalries like that between Susan and Claire, trust can be hard to build.

"Who says you can't just throw yourself into my arms?" you ask gently and look at Susan.

"Nobody, but ..."

"You are the only one who forbids yourself" you grin slyly. “Claire won't mind. Maybe she has already found a way to cope with her stressful life."

"In your arms" Susan dreams and imagines how it must be. Just the fact that she lets you lead her so easily shows you how much she relies on your closeness. You, a relative stranger who conquers all the girls around him is reason enough for Susan to confide in you. The breeding ground on which her strength grows is not very rich, and beneath the surface, there seems to be another desire than she has shown so far. She was happiest when you threw her into the lake.

“Just because you're the older sister doesn't mean you always have to be the strong one. Maureen enjoys it in my arms too."

"But..." She is still not convinced.

"Susan..." you moan and put a little more pressure on her. “You are the big sister. You live in a tough world. This is unfair and I wouldn't press you as your parents did. It is not up to me to decide which way to go. I can only offer you to accompany you and your sister on this journey.” Susan looks guiltily at the ground. “I think Claire would like an older sister to help and support her. It's not easy for you both and I think it would be best if you supported each other. It will not get you any further if you attack each other in this situation."

“But how am I supposed to do all of this?” comes the **** counter-question.

"By viewing your sister as an ally rather than an obstacle to pleasing your parents."

“Do you think I haven't thought of that yet? Fuck. Claire is not a bad person or stupid, I know. And I should be happy when she's okay.” She looks shyly over at you, feeling her hand in yours. “I can see that with you and Millie. It's... it's a nice thought. But that doesn't work for us. We're too weak to help each other.” Susan drops her head on her chest and holds her forehead with her free hand. "We tried, please believe me," she moans. "It's a nice feeling to see you and Millie and to know how you treat each other. But I can't do it with my sister. We... we are so fixated on your praise that we forget each other. When you say I did something well, it's like a **** to me. I even thought I had a chance with you.” Susan laughs dirty and it hurts you to see how she fools herself. Then she lets go of your hand and the emptiness feels no less terrible to you than it does to her. “But it was clear that you would get together with Millie. You are a great couple."

"What would have to happen so that you and Claire would become so strong that you could help each other?" you ask and Susan even seems to be a little glad that you don't respond to her feelings. But when she realizes that the answer to your question means the same as her feelings for you, she has no way out.

“It's so easy with you,” she says desperately and takes no account of herself. “You tell us what to do and we do that. And then you make us feel good. With you, I don't always have to keep myself under control and I don't have to be afraid that you will let me down if I fail. Shit, even then you'll find a good word for us. I want...” She breaks off and looks at you. She is so strong in her way. She doesn't cry, she is angry. Still, she let you talk to her. She has fought all her life over what has turned out to be too difficult for her to achieve. Your sister gets it and Susan is mad about it. And on herself, because she allows these feelings. Unlike the other girls in her group, she doesn't hide from anger, fear and despair, she faces them and loses. But she keeps fighting. And that's why her words carry so much weight. It's up to you too. If you were someone else they wouldn't work. But you are you in the situation you are in. And that's why Susan McKinley wins when she says, "I want to be one of your girls too."

---

She finally said it. It was certainly not easy for her and her conflict is reflected on her face. She admits to look after your closeness and care and at the same time she admits to be like her sister, from whom she wants to be so different. She is a proud person, maybe a little insecure, but she knows what she wants and what she wants runs counter to her father's goals. That someone feels attracted to you is nothing new and with Millie you are well prepared for it. Melina has also strengthened you and given you the time and energy to face the two McKinleys. You realize that the red-haired waitress was right in saying that the two are the toughest challenge.

Claire on the one hand wants to be protected and cared for by you. She needs the simplicity of living with you and a sibling to support and help her rather than ridiculing her. Susan wants all of this too but is paralyzed by her fears and herself is too needy to be what she wants for Claire. Susan does not want to feel anger at her little sister, is even ashamed of it, but cannot find any other way of fear of going down herself. If you help one sister, it hurts the other. If you take a burden off one, it scares the other. The two cannot work together, nor can they be separated. They only have the option of going beyond themselves to experience the praise and satisfaction for which they so long and for which they so compete. If you give Claire the freedom to be **** and weak, Susan will respond with anger and fear. And when you support Susan, Claire feels neglected. And when the two of them are around, they're too busy arguing for each other than working together. Their parents did a great job trying to give the two of them only one way out: performance. The only happiness the two feel is when they make an effort, make sacrifices themselves, and experience something good. Trying to show them that sometimes they don't have to make an effort to be rewarded only leads to distrust and fear in their world.

Surely their parents have noticed that too and they are certainly happy that potential suitors and boyfriends feel repelled by this construct. Only the competition for the only source of happiness in their lives remains for Susan and Claire. This is a problem that cannot be solved and so they are doomed to a life that their parents can control. Maybe you are wrong too and this is all just a misunderstanding of cosmic proportions and something else screwed up the two so much, but for you it seems to make sense from the filter of your life. And the guilty look from Susan speaks volumes too.

“You see?” she asks and you don't know what exactly she means by that. Maybe the sheer desperation of the situation or the hopelessness she confronts you with. "You cannot make us both happy." You are lost in your own world, you cannot accept having lost. The two looked so happy when you took care of them and it can't be that all of this was just a short break in their lives. There has to be a way for them to stay the way you've come to know them in the past few days.

While you are still concentrating on solving the problem, the older sister tries to solve it on her own. She sits up straighter and seems to have recognized something that you didn't think of.

“Just leave me,” she says and sounds almost happy. You look at her frightened.

"What?"

"Just leave me." Susan nods wildly, convinced her plan will work. "Take care of Claire and let me deal with our parents on my own." She speaks faster and faster and her voice grows bright with excitement. "It's the only way, believe me." She takes both of your hands, kneels next to you in the sand and talks to you. “Help my little sister as you helped Millie. She has suffered enough from me and this is the best way that at least one of us will be fine. She also suits you much better."

"Susan what are you talking about?" The girl is also in her world and has finally found a way out. What seems like the solution to a lifelong problem to her seems like a suicide pact to you.

“You know how we feel about you. Millie already told you. Take care of Claire Finn. You are so good at it. Better than me.” When she talks about her sister, she suddenly sounds completely different. There's concern for Claire and her well-being. “I don't know how to do that, but you do Finn. You can help Claire. You already have so many girlfriends and I can see the way you look at her.” Susan has finally reached her goal of unloading a large load from her young shoulders. And somehow she's right too. With Claire under your care, she only has to worry about her parents and the same goes for Claire, who then has a boyfriend and big brother who takes care of her without looking after herself. "That's the perfect solution, Finn," says Susan happily and laughs in relief. It is over.

---

"No." You have never seen your words do so much damage. You have always been able to justify some hope that everything will be fine. But that was also the case with people who could be sure of your love. Susan now looks into the deep black of the abyss that you have torn up before her. And she does not collapse but remains strong.

"What? Why?” She doesn't understand, is perplexed. "That's what you two want." She's right. You are attracted to the young, naive and pretty Claire and taking care of her well-being is a goal with which you can identify. You like her smile and the sparkle in her eyes when she looks at you. But the same goes for Susan.

"What do you want?" Susan, who was so close to rescue Claire, gets angry. Angry at you, the world, her parents. You can't blame her for it.

“What role does that play?” she asks shrilly. “Don't tell me now that you don't want her. This is your chance! She will definitely say 'yes' and feel more comfortable with you than ever before."

“What do you want?” you ask again. You long lost your way of being the cool brother. Here is a Finn who does not want to abandon Susan McKinley, the strong, beautiful and determined Susan, to the abyss.

"What do I want?" She snorts. “It didn't matter in my life just once. It was always about what my father wanted, or my mother or my sister.” She shakes her head in a daze. The **** works slowly in her blood and you don't have much time in the window that opens to you. But maybe it's you too and not the beer. In any case, the girl blossoms, is honest with herself and you, and thus comes up with answers that she was afraid of all her life. “I want Claire to be happy. I want her to have someone to look up to. Someone who supports her and gives her strength. I want her to laugh a lot more. I want her to enjoy school and come home without fear, even if she only wrote a B. I want…” She shrugs and looks at you with the same eyes as Millie had on the cold lonely street that evening. "I want you in her life, Finn." She gets closer to you, but doesn't know how to deal with it. Still, she fights. “I know she likes you, maybe loves you. The same thing happened to me. With you, I have seen her as happy as she was never before.” The older sister sounds almost dreamy as it is now she who looks up at the night sky, holds on to your arm and is satisfied with the sacrifices she makes. “I wasn't there for her for far too long and only looked after myself. I was weak. I don't want to be that anymore. Father was right when he said that only strong people can get by in life. At first, I didn't understand, but I think I know now.” She gets closer and closer to you until she finally leans against you. She is calm and serene. She found her way. You, on the other hand, stand in the wilderness surrounded by hyenas. No plan, just the knowledge that you don't want to let anyone behind. "I beg you Finn" she pleads, but still sounds convinced of herself. “Claire earned a life of having someone to look after her. I'll be fine.” It is clear to both of you that there can only be one answer. How can you not take Claire in either, and everything Susan said makes sense.

You can still hear yourself say “No”. You break the heart of the person next to you into a thousand pieces.

"Please Finn. You don't know how much that means to her and…” Her eyes widen as you wrap your arms around her and press her against you. Her pulse and breathing speed up again, but this time for a different reason. It must seem like a particularly bad defeat to her as she surrenders to her own feelings and returns the hug. It takes a long time and neither of you says anything and it is you who finally gently end the contact. Her eyes are wet but so are yours.

Your kiss is deep and long. For you it's like shedding some light on the world, for Susan, it's like giving herself away. But she still clings tightly to you and won't let you go, knowing that there is no point in opposing her feelings. A quiet sob breaks your lip contact and you look at each other. Something is different in her face.

"I want that for Claire," she mumbles and looks to the side, ashamed. She awkwardly wipes her mouth with her arm and rubs the tears from her eyes. "You can do it so well and I wish that for my sister."

"But you want that too." A statement.

"Of course I want that. Finn, look at you." She laughs bitterly. "With the success you have? Who couldn't resist you? But I want Claire to be happy. For the first time in my life I want her to be happier than me. I got that from you. Don't break that for me."

“It doesn't work that way, Susan,” you say and try to comfort her. “Just because you let yourself suffer doesn't guarantee that Claire will be fine. It only works for me and my girls because we all want the best for us. It won't work if only one person gives herself up.“ You are sorry to have to destroy her plan. That you ruin your chance with Claire is all the worse.

"But…"

“But do you really think Claire would agree with it? She is your damn sister. Yes, you haven't always been close, who is that? The battles I fought with Megan were also bad. But we know we both like each other. Claire won't accept your plan."

“But it's the only chance she'll be happy. And I can finally show her that I'm there for her.” Again Susan gets angry and hits the sand with her fist. You can deal with grief better because you understand it. But you respect the strong sister for finding a way.

“No Susan. The path will only lead to her reproaching herself."

"What do you expect from me then? That I tell Claire everything will be the same as before? We'll both break from that. Or should we both date you?” You don't answer, you can't. Of course, that's your hope. But no matter what you say, it would seem like you're taking advantage of yourself. If it was only grief holding the two girls back, things would be as simple as with your siblings. But it's guilt and anger at so many things. Susan has to go through this alone and you will work with whatever solution she presents to you in a moment. When you don't say anything, she is also silent. You can see the allure of the idea on her face. But you both know that Susan has already brushed that idea aside. "No, that wouldn't work." She shakes her head and discards her only chance of happiness. It breaks your heart. She does it for her sister. "Or will it?"

The last sentence makes you sit up and take notice. It is bristling with hope. Susan looks at you and fixes your lips with a look that expresses her longing. You do not know what moves her, but you are sure that the desire for you and the safety of her sister are fighting out an epic battle in her. With great strength, she can tear herself away from you and your temptations. “What do you think of that?” she wants to know.

“I can't comment on that. I will not stand between you and your sister. I want to help you, but I won't leave any of you behind."

"So you want us both?" Her mind is quick, you like that. And that she asks with hope is also a good sign. Even if you don't know how to feel about it. You keep your mouth shut and don't answer, just look at her and try to make it clear to her without words what you are feeling. In the end, you can find an answer.

“What I want doesn't play a role, Susan. What you want is important to me.” Susan nods slowly and instead of being sad or angry, it starts to work behind her forehead. You hold your breath as she decides on a path that will determine the rest of her life.

“I know my sister,” she says slowly, frowning and questioning her words. Then she looks at you again and the pleasure in her gaze has reached a new dimension. But it no longer stands in her way. "Do you believe me?"

“Absolute,” you say definitely and eagerly await her next words.

"You say you like us both." You nod. "You say you don't want to leave any of us behind." You nod. She doesn't say her next words, she thinks them. And so it is you who sit alone at the beach, look out over the nighty lake and lightly stroke SusanMcKinley's arm as she thinks. It's hard for you to be calm and not say anything. But that's the only right thing if you want to achieve something tonight. Finally, Susan lifts her head and laughs. "Have you been planning to do that the whole time?" she asks amused.

“What?” you just ask and don't look at her. You worry that you are no longer in control of your feelings for her and that you might make a mistake that could change not only your life but also that of Susan and Claire forever. The light touches that now emanate from the girl are all the more difficult. She puts her hand on your face and eventually makes you look at her.

"Was that your plan?" she just asks and giggles when you have to avert your eyes.

"Susan, I swear, I'll leave you here by the lake if you don't tell me what's going on in your head." The threat sounds hollow like a peace promise from North Korea but intimidation was never the goal.

"Okay, okay," she laughs and no matter what she has hatched, it's good to hear her laugh again. "I mean everything you said about your sisters." She shakes her head in amusement. “You only found out recently, didn't you?” You look at her and this time it's you who hopes that everything will get better. "I forgot myself," says Susan. "If Claire also wants me to be happy, then it's only possible if we are both with you."

“Who says you can do that too?” you ask, but can't help grinning. It's not that you wouldn't want it too. But to hear it from the pretty mouth of Susan is something else, something way better.

"Yeah okay, maybe I went a little too far." She grins. "But what do you think of that?" She stiffens a little and awaits your answer. No matter how tough she is, now Susan is the young girl who seeks happiness in your arms at her sister's side. When you get up, she doesn't want to let go of you and only when you stretch out your hand and get her on her feet does she dare to move away from you.

"Susan, the first thing I'll say is that I'm only talking to you and Claire with this. You are sisters and that is your business.” Susan nods shyly and changes her behavior a little.

"You know she won't have a problem with that," she mumbles a little shyly. You can't blame her for it. "And me neither."

"But that is something that needs to be carefully considered," you warn her and she continues to collapse. "Hey, look at me" you mean and she obeys you. She stands in front of you with a shy smile and looks at you. "It only works this way and I'm proud that you realized that your happiness is just as important to me as anyone else's." Then you grin and make Susan squirm under your gaze. “How was the kiss?” you ask to loosen up the subject.

“Fantastic” comes the shy reply.

“This is the first time I see the shy wallflower on this vacation. Were you like that before?” You ask more out of curiosity than out of a plan, but in retrospect, you're happy about it.

“You like that, don't you? Millie said that.“ You can't argue with that.

"Right" you agree with your little sister. "But I don't want you to pretend anything to please me, right?" Susan nods without looking at you. "When you're with me, I expect you and Claire to act naturally and not play a rehearsed role as your parents want from you." Susan looks at you and understands your suggestion. Her smile is almost all over her face.

"Does that mean…?"

"That means that we are going back inside now," you grumble and act annoyed. “I've been away from my sister for far too long. Megan is going to kill me. And all of that on her birthday.” Then you hold out your hand to Susan and she takes it with warm fingers. "Yu let your sister know and then we'll have a good time, okay?" Susan nods and hangs on your arm. "And no games, right?" You reassure yourself. "I want you to act the way you want, and not to please me." Susan nods and your arm feels good with her body on it.

"And what if we want to play something for you?"

---

The question has to stay back because tonight you don't want to go so far as to plan the future of the McKinleys. Today it should only be about having circumnavigated a cliff with Susan and Claire, behind which only calm seas are waiting for them. Whether you take the helm of their ship of life doesn't matter yet. You navigated them through a storm, not boarded the ship like a horny pirate.

---

Inside, an unusual sight awaits you and Susan. Emma twirls around with Rachel on the dance floor, looking almost as awkward as you. When Rachel sees you, she waves at you excitedly. You send Susan to her sister.

“Remember, the key is to be happy yourself. I'm just helping a little” you call in her ear. But Susan can't hold back and presses you a kiss on the cheek that Clair and anyone else can't miss. Then the older McKinley runs to the younger one to explain everything to her and even when you go to Rachel you can hear the shrill cry of joy from the young Claire over the noise. Maybe this evening will end quite well after all. Megan is also in the crowd, dancing a little apart from the other girls. But watches Emma, Rachel and you. You wave at her, ask her in sign language if everything is okay and get a thumbs up. Then she wiggles her hand and points to Emma. I'm not so sure about her.

"Finn!" Shouts Emma and shows you at a glance that she is far from behaving normally. She dances to you and hugs you, where you notice the **** in her breath. A little surprised, you return her rather intimate kiss, which attracts the attention of some dancers around you. It is clear that Emma wants you to be around and you do your best to give her as much of yourself as you can. Rachel helps you by dancing with you and turning the advances of some competitors away. You give her an appreciative nod as Carrie peers out of the crowd and walks towards you.

“What happened here?” She shouts over the noise. Emma doesn't care about her friend and is so happy in your arms that it must surely hurt the future presidents heart. You just shrug your shoulders and keep dancing with Emma. The music doesn't go with your movements at all, but that doesn't bother the young Jackson, who can finally hold you in her arms again. Carrie rolls her eyes and goes back to your seat, where Millie and Maureen are having a great time with their respective friends. Megan is now too in the middle of the group and seems to be enjoying her birthday, which takes a load off your mind. But from Megan, your eyes wander over to Denise, who sits petrified next to Claire and Susan and watches the two sisters in disbelief as they whisper excitedly to each other.

"Fuck" you growl. "You and your damn rescue complex!"

“What do you say?” asks Emma in your arms and draws your attention back to her.

"I think I screwed up" you mean and slowly your throat hurts from all the screaming. Others could certainly communicate without words, but you need your vocal cords to make all the girls in your life happy. Emma looks at you questioningly and you can see that she is no longer completely with herself. Have you been away for so long? First Maureen, then Susan. Enough time to get drunk. And Carrie also has a right to enjoy herself and not play her babysitter. Then you notice how Claire looks at you excitedly from her seat, turns to Millie and shortly afterwards the two embrace joyfully. No way for you to put it off. But the evening is already late and if you go outside with the drunk Emma, Megan will surely be wondering where you are. You trust your girls and so you choose to just tell Emma the truth. “I was just talking to Susan. It was about her and Claire."

“The two are really cute together,” Emma mutters and puts her arms around your shoulders. "They like you. I like you too, do you know? ”Again she kisses you and you return the kiss with energy. How could you do otherwise with this person?

"There will be a lot of work to do in the near future."

"I trust you" calls Emma and it sounds crooked. “We only had sex once,” she says, but has no emotion in her voice. Or you miss it through the music.

"We'll have a lot of sex too, I promise." You hug her and laugh a little. “And so much more. I want to spend my life with you, Emma."

“Me too” she mumbles and hugs you. A dancing couple bumps into your back and you realize that you two must seem like a thorn in the flesh of anyone who just wants to have fun on the dance floor. You apologize to the two of them and pull Emma to your place. Before you get there, you make a detour to the bar. The bartender - who still remembers you and Susan very well - looks at you questioningly and looks at the drunk Emma in your arms. Grinning guiltily, you order two drinks of water for a horrific sum and let Emma drink both glasses. "You want to tell me that you want to take care of Susan and Claire now," your friend states and looks at you lovingly. “That's what I like about you. You're always there for everyone.” You grin guiltily, but you can't get rid of a stab in the stomach.

"It's actually about Denise."

"Of course it is" babbles Emma and you bring the glass to her mouth.

"Maybe I should take care of you today, my little mouse?" you ask with a laugh as you see how the **** rages in her body.

"Yes, that would be..." At first she is happy, but then she thinks about it. “No, that wouldn't be a good idea. Carrie is there and you have something to do.” They say that drunken words are honest thoughts. Emma is a darling and you kiss her on the cheek. Then you look around and recognize Melina and Giselle who are also coming towards you through the crowd. You wave to them and the two girls join you.

"What's new?" asks Melina and her eyes sparkle at you.

"As if you didn't already know" you grin back, Emma in your arms. The waitress grins at you and nods.

“This Susan is not very good at keeping secrets. I was only at the table for a short time to have a drink.” She winks at you. "You will have a lot to do."

“Because he's just to fell in love for,” Emma hums.

"Yes, that's it," says Melina in a mock voice and pats your girlfriend's arm. Then she looks at you. "He really is." You have to swallow, you really don't need another complication today. But then she gets serious again. "Did you notice Denise in your frenzy of pussies?" You nod and look through the crowd of dancers to your table. The evening started so harmlessly. But now so much is at stake again. You miss Megan and Millie.

"I think we have to go ahead of the plan to take care of her," you mutter. Melina understands you anyway and pats you on the shoulder encouragingly.

"Come on. Let's get your girlfriend to your table. Then you spend some more time with Megan and then... well, you decide. Apparently that suits you."

"Not as much as you might think," you grumble and you and Melina give Emma a hand while Giselle carries your things.

When you arrive at the table, you drop Emma, Carrie takes care of the meanwhile pretty drunk lady again and you can sit between Emma and Megan. While Emma is happy to be able to lean on you, Megan is happy to have you to herself. She says that too, and the fact that you have another girl in your arms doesn't bother her in the least.

“Did you have fun today?” you ask doubtfully.

"Of course. I suggested that. And you?” You look a little reproachfully at Megan, but you can't keep up the serious expression.

"I didn't ask that" you mean only with a wave of your hand.

"But I'll ask anyway." Megan nudges you gently and when you look over at Susan and Denise, she understands. She also kisses you on the cheek and caresses your thigh.

"You may be my big brother and the love of my life," she says, biting her lower lip. “But tonight I also remember Maureen and her jokes that I missed so much. And I remember my friends with whom I laughed. And the anticipation of seeing you again tomorrow.” Again you kiss and this time you reciprocate the feelings. Complications or not, when Megan kisses you, you can't help it. "So what's your plan?" You lean over to her to talk to her undisturbed. Her eyes sparkle at your words. She is more certain about this than you are. How else could it be?