has its place in this terrible world

Chapter 64

Your siblings can watch live and in color how your world suddenly turns black and white again. Your face derails and you are torn from one second to another in a different mood. Millie is the first to respond, clutching you with her petite arms while Megan holds your free hand. Over the shoulder of the smallest Lynchwood, you keep looking at the text while questions pound on you like an artillery strike from a thousand howitzers. What do I do now? How do I react to it? Is she serious? Is she in danger? Shit! Is it really her? Is she just kidding me? Or does she need me? What does she want to say? Why is she reporting to me now? The questions in your head take turns, but are not answered and form a tornado of confusion in your overloaded brain.

"I'm sorry..." Millie mumbles and squeezes you tighter. Her words are the wake-up call for you and you snap from your dream world into the world with responsibility and love. With the cell phone still in your hand, you hug Millie too and gently caress her back. Through her thin yellow shirt with the surfer and the wave on it, you feel the contours of her back and your fingers run dreamily over the area under which her spine lies.

"Ain't your fault, Little One. Not your fault.” A new question enters your brain. What do I do with Megan and Millie? You get cold like ice thinking of your treasures. A single message from Maureen already makes Millie suffer. You answer before your brain can find an answer. And you hate yourself for it. It is an instinctive reaction. A subconscious decision on a situation that cannot be solved.

"I will ignore her." Your voice is rough and flat. You have never been so sure that a decision will cause you as much suffering as this one. Even when asked whether you would like Megan and her attempts to get close to you or give in to Millie, you were sure you would do it to protect your two sisters. But here? The answer is clear in the arms of Millie. Not because you haven't tried everything else. You offered Maureen to stay with you. You plead to her. You suffered when you saw her. But here in the arms of the little person who means so much to you, who means everything to you - just like Megan, and also Emma you recognize - there is only one answer. You won't find any other. There is only this way, not to hurt the people who let you help them.

"What?" Millie sounds as weak as you and Megan looks at you as if you had converted to Satanism. Not the cool one with the orgies, but the evil one with the demons and the blood sacrifices. And that's exactly what you're doing here. You sacrifice one of your sisters to save two. That's logic. But where the Logis otherwise helps you, it only feels worse now. You trade lives here, one don't do that. And yet you do it.

"I will ignore her," you say again and feel your heart cramp in your chest as if you had driven a glowing iron rod into it. "It... is the only right thing." Yes, sure.

"Why?" Megan asks now. She is also more perplexed than anything else. You grimace in grief, separate yourself from the two and only become more convinced by their looks that it is the only thing you can do.

"Look at us" you mean weakly and the two sisters exchange glances, but still do not see the only solution. "A single message from Maureen and we are hurt again. I gave her every chance and she didn't respond. You were nice to her and she brought Josh to our party.” Anger bubbles inside you and slowly but surely replaces grief. Maybe you do it on purpose. Humans have been creating artificial enemies for eons to justify their actions. As a hobby historian, you have always felt superior to such things, but that doesn't seem to be true. "I just can't watch her endanger what we have." Millie looks really hurt and Megan doesn't seem to believe her ears. You talk faster and faster in trying to convince the two of the only solution possible. "It is the simplest math. Logic. If I have to decide between you two and her, I will choose you.” Tears moisten the eyes of Millie.

"I'm sorry," she begins to sob. "I didn't want it to get this far." This time it's not a nice feeling when she falls into your arms and moistens your chest with her tears. Painfully you look at the ceiling, then down at your little sister.

"I will make sure that you are no longer sad about her or what I do for her. It's the only way to be there for you."

"I trust you." Her voice is suppressed and scratchy, not full of panache as usual. "You know what's best." You look at Megan as you feel her hand leave yours. She looks down expressionlessly. Does she start to cry too? Then you really screwed it up. "Megan, I..."

"Come here." Your other sister, your best friend and your love, stretches out her hands to you. You get an indescribable relief when you realize that you have managed to convince the two. You kiss Millie gently on the forehead and she rubs her eyes and sniffs loudly as you walk past her to Megan.

"It's the only solution." You stretch out your hands and look forward to the welcome closeness. Maybe Megan understands you consider it the way she stands with Maureen. Millie looks up at you and trusts you with all her heart. Megan is more confident and other things make her human in a different way like Millie. Where Millie trusts you, she may understand you. Even if you are the monster for them, they now know that you are only doing it to protect them. "There way no other way. It was the only right…"

---

The bang is so loud that Millie jumps in the air and screams as she sees you whirl around and land on your butt ugly and unmanly as if struck by lightning.

"Finn!" she calls out loud and startled and rushes towards you. She falls around your body to do anything to help you while you holding your cheek. You look up at Megan, who has raised her hand and is looking at you like she has never done. When you see her eyes, the pain of the body and the pain of the soul come over you at the same time like a huge tsunami. "What have you done!" Millie yells at her sister, shrieking and throwing herself around your neck to protect you. As for you, it is a reflex that has nothing to do with the real situation. Megan poses no threat to you or Millie and there is no reason for Millie to protect you from her sister. She only does it out of love and you can understand both sisters at that moment. Oh... fucking... Shit... You understand right away, but still you three are now in the situation you created. The hand of Megan is still in the air and your cheek is getting redder by the second. Millie almost crushes you with her little arms.

"It's alright princess" you try to calm her down with a brittle voice. You use gentle **** to push her so far away that you can get up. When you get back on your feet, the little Lynchwood immediately sticks to your side again. You put an arm around her and look at the other sister. Her gaze is fixed on you and she breathes harder than you. You wait patiently and are not disappointed. After all she is your sister.

"How dare you?!" she hisses at you like a viper and her eyes are wide with anger. "How dare you talk like that? To use such words?” She drops her hand, but the anger remains. "She's your fucking sister!"

"And you hit your brother!" Millie screeches at your side and sounds like someone is criticizing her belief. Your hand on her body and your quiet words calm her a little.

"All is good Little One."

"But she hates Maureen the most of us! Then how can she doubt your decision?” The first reaction on the face of Megan, apart from the anger at you, is the startled realization that she didn't hit just you with her blow. For a brief moment, you work together and try to make Millie understand that her world hasn't broken apart.

"This is only about me and Maureen," you explain to her and press her tight. "Everything is fine between us."

"And between me and him too, don't worry," Megan says quietly.

"There is something that needs to get out now" you assume and Millie wraps her arms around you from the side. She is quiet and listens, but pierces Megan with nasty looks. Don't get too close to him. It deeply moves you how she wants to protect you. "How can I dare what?" You ask and even smile at something that causes the red skin on your cheek to burn. You will willingly summon her anger now that Millie has calmed down so she can feel better too. It takes Megan a few seconds to adjust to the new situation. Then she puts on a serious face again.

"How dare you tell us it would be right to give up Maureen for us?" She no longer screams but only sounds infinitely disappointed and weak.

"It's the only way I see that you two don't have to suffer." Megan says nothing, so you explain further. "Look, it's not a good decision and it's as difficult for me as it is for you. But if I write to her now, she'll pull me into her world. I will try to help her, she will not react to it as always and in the end, I will be sad and depressed and take it out on you.” You explain the situation factually and in a soft voice. On the one hand, so as not to scare Millie, on the other hand so that Megan does not get angry, but also because you have now accepted your plan. "I don't want to be a burden to you and be there for you instead. But that is only possible if I can concentrate on you.” That is so logically speaking that it can only work.

"Bullshit!" Well... Megan almost spits her words at your feet and Millie grabs you even tighter. For her, the thing is clear. Now it's the turn of Megan to look desperately at the ceiling. When she looks at you again, it seems that she has her thoughts laid out. She breathes deeply and for a long time, then exhales again. "Now listen. I like Maureen. Yes, I disagree with a lot of what she does. And yes, she does a lot of things that affect you, Millie, and me badly.” She looks at her sister. "I want to protect Finn too. That's why I am so mean to Maureen sometimes. And also because I am in love with Finn and she endangers it. How would you feel if someone jeopardized your relationship with him?” Millie doesn't answer, but clings to you a little tighter. You return the gesture. Again you are the target of her wise words. "But give up Maureen? Finn! That's not your way damn!” She looks almost **** when she continues. "Even if Maureen doesn't sleep with you as we do, she's still your sister. And her problems are not that different from mine or the one of Millie. Millie had a friend who didn't do her any good. What did you do? You supported her, gave her help and above all you were there for her. Always. All the time.” She laughs hoarsely. "God, that's why I was so **** because I thought you would just love her and not me."

"Megan I..." But she raises her hand and silences you. “Maureen is in the same situation. Why don't you want to help her? Because of me? As for me, I was trapped in my own world before you found and saved me. I thought I would never get to you, could never be close to you and would therefore have destroyed almost everything between you and me and Millie and me." She alternately points at you and Millie with her words. Her voice becomes softer as she goes on, and the thoughts of you and your relationship soothe her mind. But only a bit. "I was convinced that there was no use in revealing my feelings for you and lived a lie. It was only through your actions and your words... that you were there for me and did not drop me, I understand what was there between us. And now look at me. I couldn't be happier."

"Is that why you hit Finn?" Millie asks but she doesn't sound as upset as before. Only now does Maureen seem to notice the red in her own hand and feels her palm. Her gaze breaks when she realizes how far she has gone and her eyes snap to you with an indescribable nervousness, but only find an understanding smile and you manage to tell her your feelings without speaking. But damn it, the blow was there... and hurts. Your wombat gathers again, clears her throat and continues talking, this time only gently and without anger.

"I hit him because I've now experienced what it feels like when Finn isn't there for you. The two of us are only so happy because he hasn't given us up. Because he's in our life. And... “Now tears come into her eyes as well. Wich touches her embarrassingly so she tries to wipe them away a little angry. "Crap. And the thought that he would have behaved the same way with me... or you... if we hadn't come to him so far... I don't want to imagine..."

When you enclose her with your arms, the dams break and the roles are exchanged between the sisters for a few minutes when you hold Megan in your arms and Millie hugs you and waits for her sister.

"Yes, I used to treat Maureen like shit because I was afraid she would take you away from me. Would tell the world how I feel about you and would **** you to drop me. And Millie. But to think that you would do something like this with me tears me apart. At no cost in the world do I want to be the one who denies one person the reason why I fell in love with you so desperately. That's why I brought Emma to you. I like Maureen and she is in the same position as I and Millie were at the time.” She sobs again and adds her contribution to the wetness on your shirt. "I don't want you to give up what makes you the greatest person in my life." She is startled, lifts her head and looks at her sister. "Millie, it..."

"All right. I understand that.” And you find yourself in the middle of two bodies that are closer now than ever before. “We are sisters, that always hold us together. Sister friends forever. "

"Shit girls..." you murmur and the two look at you somewhat embarrassed. "That..." you shrug your shoulders and can't stop your laugh. "Is really hot..." You have never been so happy to be beaten up by your sisters. Millie even puts a little more momentum in her slap against your side and luckily Megan holds back a bit.

---

"Okay," you finally say after another hug and several kisses that go against your own rules. "What do you two want from me now?" Megan doesn't have to think long and is grateful for the 'you two' in your sentence.

"That you treat Maureen like us. You also had to convince me to reveal myself to you for my own good."

"Not me," Millie grins gently. "I had to get Finn to take my clothes off in front of him."

"Oh honey" Megan chirps. "You are his little princess. And earlier today you were...” She bites her tongue.

"What?" you ask curiously. The two sisters look at each other, giggle, and turn to face you.

"It's a secret," Millie grins, warming your heart so much that you don't wonder what it could be, or even that the rules said: no secrets. Then you look at Megan, who takes your cell phone out of your pocket and it is enough for you.

"Write to her. For us.” And with the handover of a device made of plastic, aluminum and rare earths, the promise is made that there is always a better way when you are with your beloved sisters.

---

A little dazed, you climb the stairs to your room. When you stand in front of the door, cell phone in hand, you hear an other door open a little further to you. You look and are not surprised to see the one girl who wasn't at the lake.

"Hey Denise" you say and you are surprised by the happiness in your voice. The girl looks over at you and it's a good sign that she smiles lightly, very lightly. "Megan said she talked to you." You want to make sure that she is fine and the feeling of wellbeing in your stomach returns when you find yourself in your favorite role.

"Yes, she asked me if everything was OK and I said I only needed some time to think." She comes over to you and you look at her outfit, which, with a very long and light summer shirt in and red and knee-length tight-fitting jeans go well with her bright sneakers. But the most striking thing is the clip in her hair, which disappears between her light blonde strands and leaves only the black cat ears sticking out. The color difference ensures that your eyes are drawn there straight away and you begin to understand what some people find so... interesting about it. Together with her gait, the way she puts one foot in front of the other and the slightly stooped posture, which can be explained with the load on her shoulders, she still looks like a delicate being. You have to swallow gently, if you don't want to get into it right away. Okay, maybe you already fell for her... a tiny bit maybe... After all, she's a great girl, even if she doesn't see it herself. Make that you do not fall in love with her... even more... Then Denise takes a closer look.

"What happened to your face?" she asked surprised and raised a hand to feel your cheek. You flinch slightly as her fingers run across your skin, but you can't tell if it's the pain or... something else.

"Oh nothing" you grumble and are relieved when the girl drops her hand again. "So..." you start and don't know exactly how to proceed. But apparently you made a small impression on her with your bumbling attempts to save a life.

"I... I'm still making up my mind," she says, nibbling on her lower lip. She bounces back and forth as on her feet and deliberately looks aside. When your eyes meet, the thinnest hint of the smallest idea of a playful smile is on her lips to your inexpressible relief. "But I have to say it is a good feeling to know that you are there for me." Now it is you who involuntarily and on impulse put your hand on her shoulder. Two hands lie over yours to keep your fingers there.

"Always," you say and mean it that way. Megan is right. "Come here." Denise also hugs you and the thought that so many people find it great to feel your body against hers inspires you. "Can you manage to have some fun today? We still have a few days left and I would be happy if you could enjoy them. The fight at home only gets tougher. But that's the last thing you want to tell her in this situation.

"Yes, I can do it." She looks at you. "Because I want that." So she leaves and you understand too late what she wanted to tell you. Or do I get it wrong?

---

When you close the door behind you and stand alone in your room, a completely different challenge awaits you.

"How do I do this now?" You ask yourself aloud, looking at the damn thing that will ruin your life. "Quick and painless." But your fingers still shake a little as you enter the text.

• Hey

And then you wait. The thoughts and questions come back soon. What if she doesn't answer? What if fucking Josh answers? Can I be sure it's really her who I'm talking to? This question sticks with you and you think about it as you sit on the bed with your back bent, your cell phone in your hands between your legs, waiting for an answer. It takes several dozen years, so it seems to you. Outside the window, the seasons alternate. Snow falls, the lake freezes over, thaws again. The leaves turn red, fall off, grow back. Then everything is undone and you almost drop the phone when it suddenly vibrates.

• Hey

Okay Lynchwood. Make your sisters proud.

• You wanted to talk to me.
• Yes
• About what?

Great. Just write question marks. Then she'll understand even less that you don't want her to be harmed.

• I wanted to tell you I'm sorry

You want to ask for what ot the many thinks she's done she is sorry, but you decide against it and delete your text. With a frown, you ask yourself how you can do it. Just be happy again? That would certainly not work for her. As you think, the next text comes from her account.

• The one with the picture that was stupid

"Stupid?" you hiss, but then pull yourself together. "You can say that out loud."

• I didn't want Josh to send it to you
• What was that all about?

Again nothing happens for a long time. The three dots appear on your display, disappear again and appear several times. Then:

• Josh was upset that this girl canceled their date and that Megan burned him

You roll your eyes. It is difficult for you to deal with Maureen. How are you supposed to build a good relationship with her when the first one she mentions is Josh and the second Megan and her way? But you promised your sisters.

• What did she write?
• That the girl was not interested in his overcooked noodle and would rather stay with the pussies at the lake it would be more likely that she will get a pussy here than if she messed up her life with him

You have to chuckle when you think she said that in Josh's ear.

• Clever girl

You freeze when you realize that you have sent the text without thinking about its meaning. But maybe this way you can find out if it's really Maureen you're chatting with.

• Yes, somehow
• This is perhaps the nicest thing you have ever written about her.

Again, nothing happens for a long time.

• I like her, just sometimes don't

You have to laugh again. Actually, she sounds like Megan now.

• Actually, you just sound like Megan.
• We are sisters after all
• Have you ever said that in her face?
• No
• You should do
• I don't think that would be a good idea
• It would be. Certainly.

Now you're thinking about what to write. How did you get together with Megan and Millie? Through honesty.

• It was she who made me answer you.
• Really

The question comes back immediately

• Yes. I have to say it hurt me to see you like this.

When you send the message, you quickly decide to add something after.

• Please do not get me wrong. I respect you and your decisions! I only saw your facial expression. Maybe I was wrong too.

You quickly press Send, but it appears that Maureen has already started to write her message.

"These damn things!" You swear, hoping that your sister will still read the second message. So much has been destroyed by this messages. And right now you can't afford an escalation. How should I explain that to Megan and Millie? They beat me up!

• I know

Only that comes back. Then:

• I'm sorry I didn't want you to feel bad
• Milliesaw the picture too

"What are you doing, dear God?"

• Really oh no excuse me
• Can you tell her i'm sorry
• And so many other things too

"Wow..." you just say. You have to admit that it shouldn't surprise you. The three sisters share the same DNA after all. Maureen Lynchwood solves my problems. You shake your head amused. Now it is you who have done the least to unite the three. Megan and Millie have encouraged you, Maureen approaches you. And you lazy dog just have to grab it.

• Why don't you tell them yourself?
• You saw how I behaved
• But that was surely only due to Josh. No offense.
• That it escalates yes but not everything

Then several points follow each other, Maureen seems to be considering what to write.

"Don't say it," you murmur, but you won't be disappointed by your knowledge of human nature.

• I am a bad person
• No you are not! You're a great, funny person who just ate too much shit. Not more.
• Do you think
• Yes. And I would like to prove it to you.
• How

You think for a few seconds, look outside and see your sisters sitting in the grass with their friends and chatting happily. Millie makes a gesture as if she was punching someone in the face and you have to laugh out loud when you see Susan and Claire put their hands in front of their faces shocked.

• Do we want to meet on neutral ground? In Seacrest?

You smile again and write afterward:

• I would like ice cream.

• ---

• Ice cream sounds nice. As nice as a like from you under this chapter.