Shall they fear me if they just follow me

Chapter 44

"Denise Van Buren!" Your voice echoes through the room like a rumble of thunder, causes glass to splinter, chairs topple over and tears the wallpaper off the walls. Anyway, she's strong enough to freeze Denise in the middle of the movement. It wasn't a deliberate act, but at least it made the girl look at you with wide eyes. You are still standing at the door, Denise in the middle of the room, and both of you are staring at each other, she is startled and stunned, you with no expression on your face. Your head is empty of thoughts and the only thing you notice is the person in front of you, whom you might be able to save by your huge outbreak. Your first conscious thought is that it may not be the best way to do that. But you are still too light-headed to spin the thought further.

The last few days have been more difficult than ever in your life. You are doing well physically. Maybe some muscle soreness because of the sex, but that goes away again. But so much has happened that your head has great difficulty processing all of this. So much worry, so much relief. So much luck and so much love, affection, surprise and then relief. The constant up and down is now taking its toll and when you imagine Denise degenerated by some drunk pisshead, something snapped in you.

The next thing that happened is that the complete silence in the room is interrupted by the sound of the filled gym bag when Denise drops it on the floor. Her mouth is open and she looks at you without blinking.

"Sit down" you say tonelessly and tonelessly her lips move in a silent attempt to answer something. She doesn't move. The flick of your fingers suddenly causes an explosion of sound and Denise flinches as if a charge of C4 had detonated in the room. "Sit. Down. Now." You point to the bed and the girl immediately starts to move with her shoulders drooping. She drops weakly onto the mattress in the place where you were sitting. Okay, what do I do now? Sit down. First sit down...

You follow your own advice and find yourself next to Denise, but first you close the door to the room. The girl watches you nervously, but says nothing. For a while you sit next to each other in silence. Of course you have to say something now. But first you breathe in and out a few times to get your system free. Your throat is scratching and you don't know when was the last time you had to scream so loud.

"I have the responsibility for you girls", you start and have no idea where that could lead. "You're all over eighteen, I know." None of you look at the other. You both just sit next to each other and stare at the opposite wall at a picture of a flower landscape which some interior designer, paid for by your father, thought was beautiful. Denise press her legs together and pinch her hands in them. Her shoulders are drawn up and her head is hanging down a little. Powerless. Does this look like a person who has made a conscious, independent and approved decision? To be honest, it's hard to say. You yourself always knew pretty well what you wanted and have always managed to analyze your actions pretty well before the act. You had to do this so that you could be a good role model for your sisters. As a result, however, they have never had the difficulty of facing a situation that they cannot see through. Is it the same for others? Is this what the world looks like to someone who can't conquer it?

"Denise, Millie is worried about you. We all do are.” You take a deep breath. "But that's a thing between you and me now. I want Millie to be happy and she wants you to stay here. Without her, honestly, I would not speak to you." The head next to you sinks a little lower. "Because you are eighteen and a strong girl. I don't think that's necessary. When I finish this conversation, I expect you to consider why you are doing this. If you want help with that, I am here for you. If not, I understand that too. It doesn't matter to me if you hate me afterward.” Still no response from the Van Buren. "The only thing I expect from you is that you make a conscious decision. If you want to go to Josh, I won't stop you. But you owe it to people who like you to explain to them why you do it. Tell Millie, then I'll be satisfied.” Denise is frozen next to you like a pillar of salt. She doesn't move a muscle and you don't even know if what you say gets to her. It hits you with a surprising severity to see the girl like this. Weak and intimidated, she crouches next to you and just stares at the picture on the wall. Another side of you begins to stir. The darkness continues to diminish and the place is replaced by what you already know: affection. Even if you forbid yourself to desire the half-naked thing next to you, you cannot wipe away the affection. It is there because it is an integral part of your life. One of the pillars on which you laid the foundation, on which the house of love now stands, in which Millie, Megan and you now live. And so the affection takes over and lets you speak the next words.

"Denise, if you just want to have fun I can't understand it, but I can respect it. But I think you don't know what you're getting into with these guys. If you think you just have to provide Josh and his gang with another set of holes to get love and attention, then I won't stop you. But I think you can find something better here among the people who like you. You are worth more than the sum of your holes and you have proven more value when you pulled together for Millie for me. As for me, I think you are worth more attention than you have ever experienced in your life. I don't know exactly what's going on in your life or at your home. But you deserve real love and affection from someone who likes you the way you are.” You take a breath again. What am I doing here? "I don't want to see you so hurt that you're no longer able to recognize real love when someone crosses your path who really deserves you." Finally. Finally you get a reaction. A gentle, barely noticeable nod and your heart beats faster, which surprises you. But isn't that the difference between me and Josh?

"Okay." Denise whispers so softly that it can only be guessed in the dead silence of the room. And then follows... nothing. You two just sit there in silence. Man, this picture is really interesting. Are those tulips on that meadow? And why is my hand caressing her leg?

After a few minutes, you just got up and left. There was nothing left to say, maybe you've already said and done too much. You close the door behind you and stop in the hallway.

"What was that ?" you ask yourself, but have no answer. That was the first time in your life you yelled at someone under your protection out of anger. And it worked. Wait a minute. It doesn't have to. Maybe you just made things worse. But somehow deep in you guts you also doubt it. Maybe you just went megalomaniac? Noises come from below and bring you back to the 'normal' world where you sleep with your two sisters.

When you reach the foot of the stairs, you find the McKinley siblings in the kitchen. Judging by their behavior, they're happy. You should also talk to the two. After all, the behavior of Claire shows a lot of concern about you and after the recent event you can use some reparation.

But you will be disappointed. When you walk through the entrance to the kitchen, both girls drive around to you as if **** were coming to visit them personally. Well done buddy. The reign of terror by Finn I Lynchwood goes into its second year...

"Finn, hey" Claire calls out and smiles at you in a funny way. "We help Carrie and Emma prepare dessert." Apparently she still wants to impress you or to soothe you with her good behavior. Rather sacrifice a goat to honor me.

"I see. Thank you for taking care of Millie so well.” You smile broadly, which certainly looks **** right now. To your surprise, Susan approaches you.

"I made a chocolate pudding for dessert. Please Look.” She sounds excited when she waves you to the stove and shows you the contents of the pot. You stick your finger in the warm mass and taste the pudding, a behavior for which you would have been put over the knee by Carrie, but which now makes Susan shine with pride. "So?"

"Fantastic", you nod and ask yourself what can be done wrong with ready-made pudding. But still, Susan and Clair seem to like it. And since you may have just destroyed her friend's world and life, you can now show yourself from your good side. "It tastes great. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you", Claire beamed as satisfied as you have rarely seen her and Susan chews her lip excitedly.

"We thought we were going to add cookies or something," she says, looking thoughtfully into the pot.

"I trust you", you state and pat Claire on the shoulder, which bounces up and down. Certainly because of her sister's idea. "You do great and thank you for your efforts." The girls wave happily and continue to cook.

When you finally come outside and see the other girls happily gossiping with each other, the world looks a little better again.

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