His brother, Mark

“Mark?”

“Luke.”

Mark was always the cool figure in the family. He was the oldest at twenty-five, where Luke was the youngest, and he was impossibly awesome to behold all throughout his life. He was the quarterback in high school, got a full ride at a great university, picked up a prestigious job right after graduation and now got to spend the rest of his years basically doing whatever the hell he wanted. Quite the difference between oppressively normal Luke. The two enjoyed a good relationship though there was always a bit of an edge there - mainly due to how much older Mark was and how much Luke looked up to him.

“Um, listen, I was wondering if-“

“I’m actually just a few blocks away from you. It’s been a good week or two since we last did something together and I thought I could take you to the bar or go see a movie. Maybe the mall afterword or whatever it is you’re into these days,” Mark rambled on, not letting poor Luke to get in a single word. He tried getting in another word but he just couldn’t; once Mark got to talking, there was no one stopping him. “Anyways, not gonna stay on the phone while I’m driving, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“But wait-“

His brother had already hung up. He groaned as Max snickered out of the room, leaving Luke to figure out his situation by himself. This was just great: Mark was on his way over any second now and here he was standing around in nothing but a pair of tight briefs. Luke just knew Mark was going to tease him about this until the end of time. Family gatherings were all going to be about the tale of brave Mark rescuing his nerdy little brother from his basic underwear and saving the day.

Nothing could be worse.

When Mark finally arrived, Luke made sure to unlock the front door so that he wouldn’t need to leave the house. No one should have to see him in such a shameful state. He tried texting his brother and warning him of what happened - but he knew how rarely his brother actually checked his texts. “He’s here,” Luke said as he looked out the window. Mark had similar blonde hair but his was cut short. He towered over Luke not just in hight but with his massive build as well. He could hear the sound of the front door opening, his heart raced as he heard his brother walked to the room. The door swung open and Mark stood there, staring at his brother.

“Oh, Lukey-Luke,” Mark instantly laughed. Poor Luke nervously covered the front of his briefs with his hands, feeling what was left of his pride swallow all the down to the pit of his stomach. This had to be a terrible nightmare. It just couldn’t be real. Nothing about this made any sense and surely the universe couldn’t be this cruel to one individual. “Lukester. I know we are close but I really didn’t need to see you wearing nothing but - are those tighty-whities? Seriously? Didn’t you just turn twenty-three?”

“It’s just underwear,” Luke grumbled.

“Dude, no one I know has worn those since middle school. Now I am suddenly not so shocked that you’ve never been laid,” Mark said sinisterly as he sat down on a nearby chair. Luke tried his best to ignore the taunt - this was how his brother worked. It was best to just let him tease until he had finally move on. Otherwise, it would last even longer.

“These were from mom last Christmas.”

“She still buys those? I usually get some boxers and maybe some socks,” Mark said.

“Enough about my underwear. This is serious. I don’t know if you saw my texts but my clothes just vanished overnight. All of them. My underwear is literally all I have left and no one seems to know where they’ve gone. I don’t know if someone accidentally threw them away or if they stood up and walked off on their own. All I know is that I have got nothing to wear. So, from one brother to another, can you please get me something to wear? Please? Just grab my old clothes from mom and dad or go out and get me some at the store or something. Anything. Please, this shit is humiliating.”

“Hm,” Mark pondered, stroking the few whiskers on his chin as he eyed his brother up and down. “Well, Lukester, this is certainly an issue. I can’t just leave my only brother in nothing but some tighty-whities for the rest of his life. But.. well, you have to admit, this is somewhat entertaining. How about this? You let me call you ‘Hanes’ from now on, and I’ll go to my car and see if I have something you can borrow? What do you say?”