(Diane) A daughter to infamy

Lucy lay in the crook of her angel. Letting the thousand little indicators of that divine being’s physicality brush against her body and soul. Letting the story she unfolded lay weight and humanity to the thin veneer of perfection she had first been lured by. It couldn’t lessen her admiration, whatever tale might be told. Her beating heart already told the streetwise urchin that she would follow this woman into flame. But... to learn how she had become as she was… that was a gift she had not dared hope for.

With faltering words, seemingly unaware of how highly the listener held her. Sister Diane began her story…

“I was so excited when she was born... It had just been me, Mom and Dad for seven whole years until. Suddenly. I had three younger siblings to look out for!

Of course... It was the twins everyone else was excited about. 'Only once in a blue moon' and all that... But I was far more impressed that only nine months later I had a little sister too! As if God had wanted to make sure we girls wouldn't be outnumbered...

And things were great, for a good few years... We were still a close-knit family, except suddenly we had this huge house in the suburbs and people were just lining up to come in and bring us things! I mean... Mom had had a few extra, on-and-off flings while I was growing up, of course. But now there was a new, finely-dressed man offering to take her out every evening. And because it had been soooo long between me being born and the twins; everyone was convinced dad couldn't be their father! So all her old 'friends' were turning up out of the woodwork to claim it was them who had the 'magic sperm', however long ago they’d actually slept with her.

Of course I didn't understand all this at the time... I was just a little confused as to why I suddenly had so many 'uncles' and amazed at how much bigger my Christmas present pile got every single year...

‘To win a woman's heart, spoil her children’ after all... It's funny how literally people take all those old sayings.”

Lucy could feel the sadness in her embracer’s smile, even through the darkness and with her eye’s closed. Diane had leant up on one elbow behind her, breaking their connection a little… for a moment. She was staring off into the deeper shadows of the room. Preparing for the tale to turn.

“So I grew up being endlessly rewarded for nothing but my mother's achievements and my siblings existence... It was strange and dizzying... And even then all felt a bit fake, I think.

I didn't quite feel like I deserved all the compliments I was getting... Yet I just kept getting them. So the guilt about that just made me want to be the perfect, sweet-and-pampered little princess they imagined. I felt it was my duty to attend all these fancy parties as 'Mommy's little showpiece' even when she said I didn't have too. I just told her I liked them and acted all grown up, chatting away with movie stars and up-and-coming CEO's all evening while she disappeared into back rooms. Barely ever sharing a word with anyone my own age, even when there were others present.

Even when Mom didn't produce any more kids, and I grew into a teenager. We were still invited out. Although now, more and more, the prospective eyes began to fall on me... as I grew closer to that all-important age. Mom tried to warn and protect me. Tried to hint that maybe I should give myself some space left to be a kid... But I wouldn't listen. I thought she was jealous that the attention was now on me. Thought they all just actually liked me because of my 'charming personality'. We started having such screaming arguments. I started sneaking out to go to those parties alone. I was such an idiot… Just a kid, way out of my depth. Except I felt like I was already an adult basically, jetsetting my way into society’s inner circles… I was so eager to throw my old life away…”