Breakfast Television

(Originally posted by Catfish)

"Hey, he's on Channel 7 right now!" a man yelled, perhaps alerted on his phone by a text or tweet.

The TVs were switched over, and then the volume was turned up. Conversation in the diner ceased, and even the waitresses stopped moving around, just looking up at the TVs along with the patrons.

Jason was in what looked like a living room, sitting in an armchair front of a fireplace, across from a busty black woman in a minidress. Kevin saw the logo in the bottom left-hand corner of the screen and realized, "Oh, it's 'Good Morning America.'"

Then he realized the logo actually read "God Morning America."

The interview had obviously already started. Jason said, "Robin, you're right, I had a lot of fun with those reporters last night, but now the tour must go on. I'm looking forward to seeing my fans in a new city tonight."

"And do you expect you'll be doing for those in attendance tonight what you did last night?" asked the interviewer.

"Maybe," said Jason with a coy smile. "But while we're on the subject, I'd like to deliver a warning." He turned to look directly into the camera, his smile gone. "Anyone who shows up with stolen or counterfeit tickets, or who scalps tickets or anything like that -- I will know, and you will be punished." He turned back toward the interviewer, and his smile returned.

"Now, you did say that you had an announcement this morning -- but not one that's going to come through your speakers?"

"Yes, I do," said Jason. "I have decided that I need someone to share my Godhood with -- not to have any powers of her own, but to know me intimately, to give me good ideas when I want them, or perhaps to reel me in when I might have gone too far -- a helpmate, or maybe I should just call her a queen."

Annie, Candi, and Kimmi all gasped from excitement at that, as did the blonde concubine opposite them.

"I already have someone chosen, and I'm sorry to say it's not any of you who are watching."

Disappointment ran across the girls' faces, but then it turned to curiosity.

A third chair appeared out of nowhere next to Jason. "Meet my queen," he said, and a figure appeared in the chair in a puff of smoke.

The instantly recognizable blonde singer waved to the camera. "Hey, y'all," she said.