Michelle answers

"Hello?" She seems confused that you're calling her in the middle of the day when she's probably at work. You're definitely not at a point in your relationship where it's normal to be calling her right now.

"Put her on speaker" Olivia says.

"Hi Michelle." You say, trying to think of the words. "How are you?"

"Fine. Is everything okay?" She answers.

"Put her on speaker" Olivia repeats.

"Well, I'm having a weird day and I guess I was wondering if you could help, I guess." you sound dopey, but how else does one do this?

"Put her on speaker" Olivia demands. You shoot her a look.

"Sure. I mean I'd like to help." Michelle seems to notice that something awkward is happening.

"Put her on speaker" Olivia insists. "Put her on speaker!"

You relent. "Michelle, I'm going to put you on speaker for a second. There's someone here who...." you hit the speaker phone button.

Olivia doesn't wait a millisecond. "Help your boyfriend fuck me!" she declares proudly.

"What the hell?" You whisper.

"Who is this?" Michelle insists over the phone.

"Olivia Munn. Star of stage and screen." Olivia proclaims proudly. "Well actually just screen and screen. Unless you count a stripper stage. I did do that once."

"What is going on?" Michelle seems shocked, confused, upset. You don't blame her.

"Stop what you're doing. Come here. Put on a strap on and spit-roast me with your boyfriend." Olivia is blunt and smiling. She doesn't care if she's destroying your relationship. A relationship, you think where you haven't yet started using the terms boyfriend and girlfriend but Olivia doesn't care.

"I'm... working right now." Michelle says.

"Quit your job. Fuck me full time!" Olivia says and lets out a laugh.

You feel bad that you've been silent this whole time. You feel like you should explain what's going on to Michelle. You barely understand it yourself.

"C'mon!" Olivia insists. "Come over here. Come over here. Come over here." you wonder if repeating the same thing over again will work to convince Michelle like it did with you and the speaker phone. Then again it helped that you were looking at a gorgeous, famous, very horny celebrity. Michelle probably won't be swayed so easily.