Of Course Not.

Mona

Mona woke up to the most wonderful collection of sensations. A pair of strong legs tangled up in her own. A couple of floofy tails curling around her waist. A pair of strong arms hugging her so tightly. And, best of all, the feeling of something large and soft and warm on her cheek. She nuzzles into Tegan’s glorious gazongas. Thank you, Shar!

“Mineko... get off... you pervert cat...”

Tegan is still squeezing Mona into those bodacious boobs, despite her protests. Mona happily enjoys the feeling. She wishes the angry archer was this agreeable all the time. But, soon enough, those murmurs turn into open eyes and a too rapid retreat to the bathroom.

Mona staggers out of bed and knocks on the bathroom door. “Can I join you or are you just wanting to shower alone?”

There is no answer until she steps out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body. Her tails look much less floofy when they are wet. “Your turn.”

Mona mopes her way through her morning shower, Tegan’s engagement ring still around the gamer girl’s neck. She slips on a Deano Saur’s Dinosaur Preserve T-shirt and a pair of jeans, then joins her foxy fiancée for breakfast. This time, Ophie made egg whites with spinach cooked in it, some turkey sausage and some pre-cut fruit. Mona sits and invites Ophie to join them.

They start to eat, then Tegan’s phone rings. Well, assuming spooky music counts as ringing. The vicious vixen snags her phone, opens it, then turns ashen.

“You okay, Tegan?”

“I just got a threatening e-mail, and I don’t have an e-mail account.”

Ophie glances at the phone, then, sighing, gets up to consult with the staff. A few minutes later, Mattie the rangemistress lady is up in the Suite. She collects both phones and rolls her eyes after a few minutes. She thereupon pulls out pen and paper, copies the message, and leaves it face-down on the table. Pocketing the phones in her Inventory, she advises, “Word to the wise, Always Be Cummings, never let a cyborg ninja cat-girl grope you with her robot arm. The regular arm? Sure, have fun. The robot arm? No ma’am. She did a remote hack on your phone and used it to piggyback into Ire Bags’s. Fortunately, the hack was not malicious. Still gonna go do a full factory reset and reinstall on these. Then reload the aphrodisiac catnip traps, just in case. Sarge will have fresh phones for you two at the morning meeting. Up to you whether you want to, you know, do the thing. See ya!”

She walks away before Mona could ask what that means. Tegan’s eye is twitching. She snatches the paper and bellows, “YOU LET SOME DEGENERATE HACKER FREAK GROPE YOU?!?!?!?! WHEN?!?!?!?!”

“Don’t be rude. To answer your question, at the wedding reception. Cammy and I were trying to dance to Alex’s set and she kinda stomped between us and grabbed our boobs.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone or complain?”

“Nah. Tracy seemed fun. And she groped, like, half of the bachelorette party attendees at least once. Can I read the note?”

Grumbling, Tegan hands the message over.

{letter}

I see that the stick doesn’t work very well on you, you just dig in your heels and I can respect that. However, apparently you’ve got an issue with my girlfriend and I can’t let that stand. So here’s what I’m going to do, I’ve arranged for Daph to set you up with a full cosplay outfit from her museum of Susan. Wear it for a full 24 hours without complaint and she’ll comp you a free training session delve on me. No forcing, no gimmicks. Just try to be nice in her shoes for a bit and see if you can be a better person on your own.

Tracy

{endletter}

“You have a problem with Susan? How? She seemed nice. Huge boobs, too.”

Again, Tegan’s eye is twitching. She forces a couple of deep breaths in, then tries to calmly explain, “I don’t have a problem with Susan. I feel sorry for Susan. To be turned into a cow freak is so much worse than what the blue freak did to me. I have a problem with the blue freak. And the vampire freak. And the goblin freak. And...”

“Tegan, can’t you just be nice?”

“I AM being nice.”

Mona sighs, then takes a few bites of her eggs. Maybe I should insist on some therapy? I mean, we could use someone to help us out...

Her thoughts are interrupted by a very excited mermaid suddenly scrambling on the table. Mona is staring directly at her crotch. She wiggle-dances and says, “Susan cosplay time, Tegan!”

“No.”

Daphne looks confused. “No?”

“Whatever cow-freak costume you assembled is going to set off the stupid goblin itchiness curse. And will be uncomfortable to sleep in. And I don’t want to look more like a freak than I already do. And, fuck being judged as ‘not a good person’ by that perverted serial groper.”

Mona looks at Daphne, who is pouting. She offers something to comfort the mermaid, “I can wear the costume, at least until my date. Would that make you feel better?”

A big shark-toothed grin appears on the court wizard. She starts pulling out the costume from her Inventory, only for Ophie to say, “Sorry, Mama, but I will assemble the costume. You can hand her the collar and headband at least.”

Ophie walks back to the bedroom, presumably to arrange an outfit. Daphne offers Mona the accessories. The collar is red leather with a big cowbell hanging off of it. Mona thunks the bell and it has a stereotypical clang. She smiles as she slips it on and tightens it just right. Tegan rolls her eyes. The headband has cute little cow horns and cow ears on it. She slips it on and Tegan rolls her eyes again.

Ophie returns with a corset lingerie set: a bustier, a thong with a built-in cow tail, and stockings, all in cowprint. Mona strips down right at the dining area table and starts to put it on. The thong feels odd; Mona has never worn one before. It feels a bit like having a permanent wedgie. The cow tail weight is noticeable, but not so bad that it is pulling her panties down. The bustier lifts and accentuates Mona’s boobs, which is nice. She is starting to be an old hand at tightening a corset on herself. The stockings are silky smooth. Mona spins around to show off the look.

Tegan: +2 XP (Get Mistress to Wear Fetishware)

“Why do you want to look like a freak, Mona?” the vicious vixen growls.

“Hey, I don’t think any of you are freaks, Tegan. And it’s just a costume. Do I look cute, Daphne?”

Daphne is drooling and nodding. She pulls out her phone, “Give me a sexy pose and I’ll give a pic to the Royal Portraitist. You’ll make an excellent addition to the Susan Wagner Appreciation Wing of the Royal Art Gallery!”

Daphne wants to have me painted and put it in a museum? I’m sexy enough to be in a museum? Eeeeh!

Tyalangan

What is this?

Mona walks into the Media Room for the morning meeting dressed in cowprint lingerie. She’s making finger guns and play shooting at some of the others. Gaia play falls over, her temporary mouse-tail wrapped around Mineko’s leg.

Mattie sending a security breach alert to the tablet clues the Host in. She types a response: “Remote log into Jenny, Kevin, and Winter’s phones and check to see if they have been compromised. Have Summer hand her phone over for now. She probably wants another update about Michael anyways.”

Mattie sends a thumbs-up emoji. Tyalangan turns her attention back to her cast in time to see Mona teasing Kevin about matching horns.

Time to begin.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and perverts of all persuasions, welcome back to Harem Hotel. Tegan certainly had a date last night. She even earned close to double the XP she got last time. Let’s check out the leaderboard.”

The screen behind her lights up:

Mona has 760 BP. Good job!

Name (Level) ------------------- XP Given -------------XP Reserved ---------------BP

Andromeda (Level 6) --------------- 5 ----------------------- 108 ------------------- 220

Kevin (Level 5) ---------------------- 5 ----------------------- 101 ------------------- 174

Gaia (Level 5) ----------------------- 5 ------------------------- 93 ------------------- 24

Ootah (Level 5) --------------------- 5 ------------------------- 73 ------------------- 130

Tegan (Level 5) --------------------- 5 ------------------------- 71 ------------------- 45

Tessa (Level 5) ---------------------- 5 ------------------------- 64 ------------------- 250

Winter (Level 5) -------------------- 5 ------------------------- 60 ------------------- 190

Mineko (Level 5) ------------------- 5 ------------------------- 52 ------------------- 225

Harith (Level 5) -------------------- 0 -------------------------- 24 ------------------ 135

Jenny (Level 5) --------------------- 0 -------------------------- 3 -------------------- 275

“Tegan hops up one place in the leaderboard, due to her date. Tessa hops up two spots for actually matching her level with everyone else. Finally, Harith overtakes Jenny. But, it is Jenny’s date night. What does she have planned? She needs a minimum of 7 more XP to avoid not qualifying for the Major Quest. I’m sure she has it.”

The dryad fidgets a little. She must be nervous.

“Finally, we have a bit of a request. Timey-wimey nonsense meant that your reply letters to a particular set got delivered and their reactions are awaiting... reaction. Bonnie, sweetheart, whenever you are ready.”

The fan-mail episode plays. Like most fan-mail episodes, it is a heavily cut affair, bouncing between handwritten letters and close-up shots of the season participant in question. The first on screen is Noah the slime girl.

“I flirted with her at the wedding reception!” Mona declares over Andromeda’s reply letter.

“Shush, Mona.” the arcanist android tsks. They listen and Andromeda merely nods to the voice-over.

Winter sits smugly in Kevin’s lap at his post script in the next letter. The hu-cow bull puts his face in his hand and groans, “Winter...”

Both Mona and Winter loudly boo to Noah’s response about the threesome, with the former adding, “It would have been soooo hawt to watch it.”

Felix is next. Tyalangan watches the contestants and several of them like what they see. Vizzy does know how to shape a physical tune-up transformation, I’ll give her that. His advice to Mona is mostly delivered too late. The girl has learned those lessons. He didn’t touch the Calypso question, which might be for the best.

“Hey, Tyalangan, what WAS the deal with Calypso, anyways?”

Tyalangan sighs, “My mermaid mother-in-law was my third Host. She was significantly better than the previous two.”

“So, you can be destroyed?” the vicious vixen asks with glee.

Tyalangan does not dignify that with a response. Instead the video continues to the goblin Nox, who had some words for Tegan. The Host glares at the contestant. Of course, the fox made the poor girl cry.

The first words out of Tegan’s mouth is shock, “That WASN’T an elimination? What kind of degenerate pervert finds THAT attractive?”

“That doesn’t matter; it is what happened.”

Tegan listens to the next bit and glares at the Host. “Are you making us watch this to boost your ego, freak?”

“I am asking you to watch because another contestant is trying to reach out and make friends with you. The least you can do is consider it.”

“Fine,” Tegan growls, “Nox, I will get revenge for both of us, eventually.”

Tyalangan doesn’t bother to hide her eye roll. The episode keeps playing, revealing a pacing naked angel. Let’s see how many of her words will sink into Gaia...

Gaia’s initial answer is... less than encouraging. “But, how’s your god’s dick? If Skye is any indication, her goddess is also a pervert? You know, because she is always naked? But still, point taken. He... is not a nice kitty-guy... Even if he has a big divine cock.”

The final contestant on screen is Jamina. Tessa squirms a little at the high elf’s advice to throw all her ethical considerations out the window. The Host feels for her sister but Jamina isn’t wrong, exactly.

Tessa finally speaks, squeezing Jenny’s hand as she does so, “I understand your point, Jamina. Mona and I... did things during our date last week. I am sure we will do more things in a few days on our next date. I’m sure Mona and I will find a proper equilibrium.”

Jamina’s first bit of advice for their Endgame is interesting. “The power of magic and friendship, Tyalangan? Like on that Mona card in that dream you used to recruit me?” Andromeda asks.

“Fighting against an all-encompassing unknowable thing is just as much a battle of mind and will as it is one of the body.”

The other bit of advice is just as important. Mona, Jenny, Winter, and Kevin all flinch, as is expected. “Hesitation is really that deadly?” Tessa asks.

Tyalangan merely says, “Yes.” The room generally gets much more somber at that. “But, I’m not sending you lot out unprepared. That is the point of the whole season-long training exercise. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

And, with that, Tyalangan Misty Steps out of sight. She has more work to do.