Appointments and Attack Steps

Gaia

After the meeting, Gaia is really wanting a nice, long rest. Fears of... Him... eating her soul kept her from getting a good night’s sleep (and the peppy potion is not in her BP budget). So, the former terrorist bounds her way upstairs to risk a nap.

At the lobby of the contestants’ rooms, Alex the angel, humming along to the background music, waits with Andromeda.

Andromeda: -20 BP (Training Session)

“Whatcha doing, dudette?” the goth angel asks.

Gaia yawns as an answer. Alex loops an arm around hers and spins her back down the stairs. Andromeda follows. As they descend, Alex declares, “Well, since Andromeda paid for a Religion skill training session and you don’t sound like you have something more important to do, you have an appointment with a priestess, Gaia.”

“Appointment?” Gaia groggily asks, “I don’t remember an appointment...”

“You know, last round you asked me to find you a deity? Considering how your last few nights have gone, wouldn’t you say that it’s past time to have you transfer your membership?”

Andromeda sighs, “I suppose we are heading back to the Drow District?”

Alex laughs, “Actually, no. Somebody thinks herself too good for naked purple goddess; if Gaia wanted her, we could have done that here in the castle. We’re heading to the Seldarine temple complex in the Market District.”

Both shifter and warforged ask, “What?” simultaneously.

The question is ignored. “So, we can start the lesson as we go. How familiar are you with the pantheons described by the ancients from our old world?”

“Ahh... I watched some movies about Hercules? I liked the cartoon one!” Gaia pauses long enough to take a breath, and then starts to sing, “‘Who put the glad in gladiator? Her-cu-les!’”

Andromeda offers an unrelated answer. “So the Seldarine is a pantheon of deities from here?”

“Way to skip some steps, smarty pants. Yes, the Seldarine is the pantheon for the surface elves here. Corellon is the head of the pantheon. There are a bunch of others in it. Naked purple goddess is one of his daughters, but she is kinda out of the club. She reminds him too much of her mother. We don’t talk about her mother.”

“Why?” Gaia asks, still humming the really old tune from a really old movie.

“She tried and almost succeeded in framing naked purple goddess of murdering Corellon. Also, she is much, MUCH scarier than the Black-blooded Beast.”

Alex pauses to stretch out her wings in the late morning sun, then talks as they approach the gate of the Royal Quarter, “So, there are way too many deities to cover, even in the Seldarine. There are typically two approaches as a starting point: focus down on a particular deity and those particular traditions OR talk about general principles. I think the latter would be more helpful.”

This time Andromeda asks why before Gaia could.

“Well, I highly doubt that you two would choose the same deity, even if Andromeda was currently shopping for one. The general principles would apply for both of you.”

Gaia nods, supposing that makes sense.

“So, divinity here is maybe a bit more transactional than you might have been taught back home. The gods feed on worship. Deny them their due, they starve, they weaken. Deny them long enough, and they’ll revert not quite to mortality, but something akin to it. On the other hand, worship a mortal enough, and a spark of divinity will begin to form in them. Feed the spark enough, and you make a new deity.”

“To encourage worship, the deity will grant favors: miracles, answered prayers, empowered worshipers like clerics and monks and paladins. Most mortals will naturally give thanks for the gift, which is a minor form of worship. Some will spread the word to others, which may convince them to worship more fully. Generally, a deity has a good sense of how much worship an action they take will bring and will end up gathering more worship than the effort it took.”

Gaia focuses on a particular bit of that. “So, we could become goddesses? Why would I bother finding a new god when I could just be my own?”

“Well,” Alex answers, “for one, the likelihood that you would be able to even get enough worshipers to generate that divine spark is slim to none as you are. You need a lot more power. Now, if you save your world using a bunch of cool magic powers in a very public way, I could see that as a possible start to divinity. Do you survive the Black-blooded Beast pursuing you without divine help that long is the question.”

Gaia shudders again.

“Two,” Alex continues, “Mortal souls go to the divine realm of their deity upon death, usually. The, let’s call them ‘unaffiliated,’ have nowhere to go. Myrkul, the local god of death, turns them into bricks for his wall of The City of The Dead, a way station for souls awaiting pickup to their due reward. You want to be a brick for eternity if you fail?”

“Three, there are levels of divinity. Most deities slot themselves into a pantheon and those have hierarchies. So, you would be offering worship to someone, even as a deity.”

“In other words,” Andromeda notes, “a plan to just become goddesses is basically a non-starter, unless we do something extraordinary. And, if that extraordinary thing is our season’s Endgame, Mona would be the head of our pantheon?”

“A reasonable conclusion, though, since you are already bound to Mona, she’d likely be the head of your pantheon no matter how you would earn divinity,” the angel notes, “finally, multiple deities cover the same basic thing. A minor deity is more likely to remain a deity long-term if a major deity that shares interests carves out a unique niche for them. For example, there are a bunch of nature deities, naked purple goddess included, but the Black-blooded Beast is the only one who collects devotion primarily from predators and poachers. And one of the few who is worshiped by lycanthropes.”

“Poachers? That’s not environmentally friendly!”

“Well, there’s another reason to switch. And, here we are.”

The complex is somewhat similar to the stone copse in the Drow District. Of course, the most obvious difference is that the large tree it fashioned around is living. Its boughs dominate the entire Market District, providing shade to the streets and shops. Some tree houses dot the larger limbs, with some vine based structures connecting them together as additional walkways, and it appears that rooms are carefully carved inside the trunk. Local fauna play in the branches.

A number of scantily clad elves tend to the tree and creatures. One in particular approaches them, greeting, “Welcome, guests, to The Great Temple of Leaves. What brings a servant to The Protector’s Errant Daughter to His temple this day?”

That seems a bit rude. If Alex is offended, she doesn’t show it. Instead, she replies, “Is there a priestess to Rillifane here today?”

“How fortuitous,” the snooty elf replies, “for a traveling priestess to The Leaflord arrived but yesterday evening and is planning on spreading His blessing to the people here.”

Gaia is shoved forward. Alex chirps, “Great! Take this one to her. We’ll enjoy the shade out here while you wait.”

The snooty elf glowers at Alex, then grumbles, “Come along, petitioner.”

As Gaia follows, she yawns. She is so, so tired. Maybe this priestess lady I am about to see will have coffee handy?

Winter

Alright, my time to get some one-on-one time with Mona. I need to check on her and I could really use a win myself. My record for my side quest is abysmal...

Winter has a hand on Mona’s butt as he leads her to Esme’s. The thong does a really good job of emphasizing Mona’s efforts at the gym since the season started. Winter highly doubts that the Mistress would have put on a sexy getup like this before the show. Cows are one of those things asshats call rotund women, after all.

“Have you met my sister Esme?” Winter asks as they enter the shop.

“No,” Mona answers, then turns to the bunny-girl, “Hi!”

Esme winks, “Hello, Mistress. Aren’t you looking moo-nificant today? I bet my big bro is sprouting a stiffy right now.”

Just because I am, doesn’t mean I’m going to say anything. Thank The Lady for skirts. Then Mona gropes him. Her smile makes it worthwhile. “And what a stiffy!”

Through the blush, Winter manages, “So, Esme, you got the gift I ordered ready?”

The bunny girl pulls out a deck box and slides it over to Mona. Mona squees with glee as she opens it.

Winter: -10 BP (Present for Mona)

Winter: +1 XP (Bought a Present for Mistress)

“It’s an exact replica of Queen Mama’s Triple Headed Tarrasque DDH deck,” Winter explains, “I figure we could maybe play while we talk?”

“Thank you, Winter! I love it! TRIPLE HEADED TARRASQUE!!!!!!!”

The two sit at a table, opposite each other. Esme sits by Mona. “You mind if I help her not break any rules?”

Winter nods, then they shuffle up to begin. Esme explains the format rules to Mona, finishing up by the time he deals out his hand. That’s a turn three Eilistraee. Probably my best hand since we started testing this format. “Keep.”

“Okay! Let’s goooo!”

Winter lets Mona start. Turn one Dryad Arbor does not bode well for Mona’s understanding of what Eilistraee does. Mona sends in some chip damage, then uses Green Sun’s Zenith to tutor out a Naga Tribe Elder before he can cast his deity. Winter clears the board with an attack and a ping.

“So, how are you holding up? I don’t know how much we can talk about the Garden, but...”

Mona shivers, which draws the drow’s eyes towards her heaving bosom. She answers as she plays a Wild Hunt Explorer, “Last few days have been hard. First, Craig trying to kill me, then what happened in the Garden, then being kidnapped by squeaky lizard guys that claim to be dragons?”

Winter casts a Sword of the Animist, then attacks. “Kobolds?”

Mona pouts as she blocks. “I guess.” Might as well ping it to get another experience counter...

Next back and forth turns out the same. Mona casts a creature, uses it to block Eilistraee (now equipped with the sword), and Winter gains another experience counter. It felt weird to not grab a leyline from the sword’s attack trigger.

“I’m still a little pissed off at your mom for putting me in so many life threatening situations. I’m tired of feeling powerless. What’s the city’s blessing?”

Wayward Swordtooth. Probably completely irrelevant, given that she missed a leyline drop already. I feel a little bad at the pub stomping. Maybe her game two will be more even?

Winter plays a Goldspan Dragon, just to speed up the clock, and swings for 10 damage while Esme handles the keyword discussion. Mona pouts again.

“Yeah, Mama screwed up that night. That thing... Anyways, The Lady watched out for us. That’s something, right? How’d you end up running into kobolds? They’re only really found on Gwlad y Bwystfilod.”

Mona draws her card, then Esme whispers, “Concede. You have nothing in hand to deal with his board.”

Mona sighs, then, as they shuffle up for game two, answers, “That’s what the bunny-girl receptionist said? It’s a funny word.”

“It means ‘Land of Beasts’ in Sylvan. The other continent. Tegan was a dumbass locating her date there.”

This games starts a lot slower. Mona was able to ramp out a Hunt Caller on turn 3 and Winter draws a tapped red source (with a Basilisk Collar waiting to be equipped), so no on-time Eilistraee. “Why?”

“That’s the other continent. Many of the predatory beastkin found over there are slaving societies. Kobolds are in the disorganized end of that; had a gang of ultraviolions got you instead... Mama could have handled them, but it was a stupid risk for her to take.”

Mona swings with the Hunt Caller and draws first blood for the game. Winter responds with Eilistraee.

“The kobolds called her the Butcher of Ffau’r Llewod? What’s that about?” Mona swings again and Winter takes it. “And you could have blocked, you know.”

Winter smirks, then shrugs, “Life is a resource. Winning on one life is the same as winning at full health, at least in this game. Plus I can do this now.” The drow equips Eilistraee with the Basilisk Collar, uses the ping effect to kill the Hunt Caller (gaining one life from lifelink) after declaring attackers, then hitting Mona for three. One turn, and the life totals are much closer.

“Wow. That is mean, Winter,” Mona pouts, then asks, “The whole Butcher thing?”

“Ah, Mama’s last date of her season was with Mama Josie. She unintentionally signed up for a tournamant in Ffau’r Llewod, which was a city of ultraviolions. Between my mamas, they slew the leader of the town in a single round of combat. Queen Mama launched several wars against the slaver cultures of Gwlad y Bwystfilod since then. They do not appreciate their slaves freed and their compatriots culled.”

While Winter answers, Mona plays her turn. Green Sun’s Zenith again into a Wood Elves into a Stomping Grounds. She needs artifact removal, or she’s done. Winter attacks Mona and kills the Wood Elves before she can declare blockers. Now Winter is almost back to full health. Plus, he now has a Goblin Sharpshooter on the field as backup.

“That combination of ‘not needing to tap to attack,’ ‘heal on dealing damage,’ and ‘can kill anything with one damage’ thing is soooo unfair.”

“Mama has removal in the deck. You just need to draw it. As Ohgi says from that one anime you might have watched as a kid, ‘Trust in the truth of the cards.’”

Mona has maybe three turns left to draw removal. She spends her first getting a leyline to hand with Thaumatic Compass. A Wear/Tear handles both that and the Growing Rites she played. The Compass threatened to flip, and that would be bad. Her second to last turn(?) is a Nesting Dragon, followed by the leyline. Hey, she learned that sequencing correctly! A Legion Charm keeps hers board alive for a turn, and Winter doesn’t interrupt it with more removal just to reward her. He follows up with a Sunforger. She boots up the Nesting Dragon, then swings. Winter equips the Sunforger and got an experience counter for his swing. She plays another beater; he uses Sunforger to fetch some artifact removal during the end of her turn. Bye-bye dragon boots.

“I think I liked the regular DDH thing better,” Mona quips. Esme whispers something in her ear and Mona smiles.

Winter draws an untapped leyline, plays it, then the Thornbite Staff in his hand, and procedes to decimate Mona’s board before being able to swing for lethal.

Winter: Minor Quest Update! Record 1-2

Winter: Gain an instance of superiority

“Soooo, Strip DDH?” Mona asks.

Winter smiles, “Why not?”