"Another stunning victory."

“Another stunning victory, Melvin.”

Chad and Melvin are back at the waterpark, sipping drinks from coconuts as they relax on deckchairs and watch hundreds of students and tourists splash about in the huge wave pool, while lifeguards in red bikinis sit back and watch. At first, it seems like just another regular waterpark day.

But something a bit more interesting is going on.

Here, a blue bikini bottom slips down, exposing half a pale cheek before the perky Chinese girl wearing it squeals and hastily yanks it back up. There, a heavy ebony breast pops out of a frilled pink bikini top, baring a delicious dark nipple for three or four long seconds before it's noticed.

An athletic, tanned blonde hauls herself out of the pool by the ladder. Her bikini bottom, somehow waterlogged, doesn’t come with her. It catches around her knees, flashing her toned, tan-linned backside to the whole pool before she’s able to grab it.

There’s a general squeal of delight as the wave pool begins to rumble. A huge wave sweeps across the pool, lifting everyone off their feet. At least fourteen bikini tops, and seven or eight bikini bottoms, are carried in the current towards the drain at the pool’s end, into which they disappear. More squeals ensue.

“To the normal eye,” Melvin explains, “they appear identical to normal bikinis. But as soon as they get in the water, the fabric becomes significantly heavier. And I’ve made the knots less reliable, as well.”

“What would we do without you, Melvin?”

“Just doing my job, boss,” says Melvin. A pair of bikini bottoms come zooming out of a nearby waterslide, and are immediately snatched out of the water and pocketed by a handsome young man in board shorts. A few seconds later, a pretty black girl in a white bikini top enters the landing zone with a splash. “The best part is, unlike the traditional dissolving prank bikini, these can be worn again and again. The victim will assume she suffered an ordinary wardrobe malfunction. She’s unlikely to deduce that the bikini is at fault for quite some time.”

“But how do we get them into circulation, Melvin?”

“More pop-up stores in malls, to start with. But I’m already negotiating with manufacturers to start discreetly mixing them into the world swimwear supply. Did you know the largest bikini company in the world is owned by a former Delta? He said he always knew this day would come.”