"L'inspectrice officielle des bikinis."

“Excusez-moi, demoiselles. Je suis l'inspectrice officielle des bikinis.”

“She should be happy,” comments Meg. Inez and Heidi, the German girl who was captured with her earlier, prop themselves up on their elbows as Solange approaches. They’re sunbathing in modest black bikinis, lying on the beach in the brilliant Mediterranean sunlight. “Wouldn’t you be happy with a promotion to Chief Bikini Inspector, in charge of investigating all bikini-related crimes in the South of France?”

“I think she’s upset about the dress code.”

“Well, obviously the Chief Bikini Inspector has to wear a bikini.”

“Yes, but… that bikini?” Solange wears a microscopically small navy blue slingshot bikini, no more than three infinitesimal triangles held together by precarious-looking tense strings. It seems to you like it could fly off at any moment. She’s lecturing Inez and Heidi on something, pointing to their bikinis and stomping her black boots in the sand.

You watch as Inez and Heidi exchange embarrassed looks, and bite their lips. Reluctantly, the Spanish girl peels off her bikini bottom, and the German girl unfastens her bikini top. They hand both over to Solange, and lie back down on their towel, Inez’ shaved brown pussy and Heidi’s plump white breasts exposed to public view.

“Guess their bikinis must not have passed inspection.”

“Guess not,” you say, as Solange comes stomping towards you. “Hi, Solange. How’s the new job?”

“Adequate,” Solange snaps, looking you up and down. You’re in board shorts, and Meg’s in a yellow one-piece. “Hm. Seems like the two of you are out of my jurisdiction. But I’ll be watching carefully. One little mistake, and I’ll…”

Her slingshot bikini, tested to breaking point, snaps off with a twanging sound like a rubber band and flies away, leaving beautiful Solange standing before you in the middle of the crowded beach in nothing but her police hat and black boots. Her eyes go wide. Her mouth, caught in mid-sentence, hangs open. She can’t think of a single thing to say.

“Ah, look, mes amis! Another naked lady!”

“Let us take more pictures!”

“Hon hon hon!”