Round One Transformation Vote (Second Transformations)

The exhausted line of contestants sat in their chairs.

Ariadne looked silent and pensive. Laurel was jittery. Chloe and Christian held hands and traded glances that conveyed no real information, despite twin stereotypes about private wavelengths. Natalia looked devastated. Joan mostly looked uncomfortable.

Alan had zipped up his pants and jittered in a way that echoed Laurel’s own.

Tess coiled in on herself.

A flash of pink light turned her into a doppelganger of Alan.

Everyone blinked.

For one second, the room’s misery broke against the wrongness of Alan’s face smiling with Tess behind it.

That was why Tess had done it.

“Alright,” Tess said with Alan’s voice. “We’ve got a round of transformation votes. Ariadne was not consulted this time, so these have some teeth.”

She smiled in a way Alan never had.

“Skynet reviewed them, but I wrote all of them. Let’s go with Ariadne first.”

The room darkened. A spotlight fell on Ariadne.

The other contestants felt a soft pressure settle into their muscles.

Ariadne:

Pass the Torch: Ariadne would be more interesting as a contestant. Give Tess the job. Also, give Ariadne a glow-up transformation to fit Alan’s tastes while we’re at it. (Dragon)

Once More, With Feeling: Ariadne has been a disaster host, but seeing her scramble is fun. Ariadne remains host, and Alan gets to design a new look for her, since this one totally blows. (Princess)

Fall on the Sword: Let’s stop fucking around. Ariadne is eliminated, not just demoted. She’ll be stuck in a new form that Alan gets to design. She’ll be out of the game, but still stuck as part of their lives. (Knight)

https://strawpoll.com/kogjR8vq1g6

“Ah.” Ariadne nodded. “I think my position is obvious.”

She gave Tess a strange look.

“Um...” Alan looked between them. “Sorry, Tess, but I don’t know you. Ariadne’s at least tried to be a good host.”

He had a very bad feeling about Tess becoming the host.

“Alright. Boring, but rational.”

Tess snapped Alan’s fingers.

The spotlight moved to Chloe.

Chloe:

Invisible Pervert: Chloe will gain the power of invisibility, but only while exposed enough that it would be awkward to notice her. This means she can’t rely on her invisibility power if the situation changes and she’s no longer “exposed” enough. (Stalker)

Gender Studies: Most girls are so lame, not like Chloe, who is cool. Chloe will no longer be capable of empathy with perspectives that contradict Alan’s, and she will always understand Alan’s perspective perfectly. (Traitor)

Manic Pixie Dreamboat: Chloe’s got such an ugly past. That’s no fun. Chloe will be able to forget anything about her life, erasing her memory during sexual activity with Alan or Christian. Alan or Christian can restore the lost memories if they remind her of them. (Wounded)

https://strawpoll.com/1Mnwkmv6jn7

Chloe nodded slowly.

“The middle one is awful. The first is a minor superpower. The last one is... a lot to process.”

“Yeah.” Alan rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know if forgetting trauma entirely is healthy or not. I get that the metaphorical version would be bad, but I’m not sure if the literal version would be bad. If she actually doesn’t remember trauma and can control it, maybe that helps? I don’t know.”

He frowned.

“I have no idea how she’d use a horny invisibility spell.”

“Boring...” Tess muttered.

The spotlight shone on Christian.

Christian

Love Potion #69: Christian’s milk and sexual fluids will become a temporary love charm. Any adult who ingests the fluid will become infatuated with Christian for 69 hours, while Christian will feel a lesser infatuation herself. (Witch)

Huntress: Christian will get a sense of attraction that is supernaturally accurate. She will know who is attracted to whom, and who can seduce whom with some effort. (Bitch)

Over the Bus: The twins really need to get closer. Let’s make it easy for them. Everyone will believe they’re already having sex with each other, even if they aren’t. (Liar)

https://strawpoll.com/NoZrz8LbXZ3

Christian looked slightly ill.

“The second.”

“Yeah,” Alan said immediately.

Neither of them noticed Chloe having a small panic attack at their words.

Chloe had made a connection Alan and Christian had not.

The spotlight moved to Joan.

Joan:

Guy-In-Real-Life: Becoming two entirely separate people who present as female will be very awkward when Joan returns home. Joan will be able to prevent people from realizing she has a new appearance and gender, though this will not prevent them from noticing the details of her current appearance or finding her cute. (Fake)

Just Kidding: Joan seems to be attracted to a bit of everything. We all know bisexual guys are just gays trying to prevent their parents from freaking out, and bisexual girls are just girls trying to look cool. Let’s straighten Joan out and make her only interested in Alan. (Gay)

Bisexual Ninja Cyborg Catgirl: Alan’s tastes were boring, weren’t they? Let’s let him reset Joan’s custom avatar every Sunday. This will continue to involve Alan’s inhibitions being lowered, so we’ll get some fun looks. (Nerd)

https://strawpoll.com/B2ZB9O3R7gJ

Joan grimaced with both faces.

“The first one’s kind of useful but also insulting. The other two would be awful.”

Alan paused.

“Yeah. Not being able to predict what Joan looks like would be inconvenient.”

Tess smirked at Alan.

Joan looked at him.

“Not the first objection I would have made, but I’ll take it.”

The spotlight fell on Natalia.

Natalia straightened like someone bracing for a medical diagnosis.

Natalia:

Family Planning: We all know family members are at risk of becoming leverage, but Natalia’s kids aren’t remotely old enough for cast mechanics. Fine. Child protection rules matter. The Laundry’s time-acceleration zone will be opened as a protected custody bubble. Natalia’s children will be kept out of reach of her ex-husband, Harem Hotel’s adult mechanics, and anyone who would treat them as contestants. They will age naturally from their own perspective while time moves differently around them. Natalia may visit them, but every visit will have a cost. (MILF)

D+: If you want to pretend you’re really going to vote for something other than Family Planning, here’s the breast expansion transformation. They’ll grow to the best size for any outfit she is wearing and the rest of her body, based on whatever would please Alan the most. This will make fitted bras impossible to wear. (Dream Girl)

Lesbian Ballerina Movie: Natalia’s a Hollywood star; she’s kissed a girl before. Let’s give the fans more service. She will keep forgetting she isn’t already in a sexual relationship with every member of the harem and become much more touchy with them. Like you’re picking this. (Starlet)

https://strawpoll.com/eNg6vLR4wgA

Alan shook his head.

“Why even put the awful one in? How am I not going to veto that?”

“Do you know what happens if Sky uses her veto when you’ve used yours first?” Tess gave Alan a wink with his own face. “Are you going to shoot your only bullet on this, after what just happened?”

Alan froze.

Natalia did not.

“What exactly would the time-acceleration zone entail?” she asked. “Would they be alone? Would there be some kind of boarding school? A staff? A holodeck?”

“What?” Alan gave Natalia a confused look.

“Weren’t you paying attention?” Natalia snapped.

The room went still.

Natalia’s face shook once, but she kept speaking.

“Right now, my daughter is very likely to enter the custodial care of someone I divorced because I suspected he might **** her. If I return in another month with my full faculties and values, the risk might not be high. But I can’t be sure nothing will happen before then. I can’t be sure I won’t be changed in a way that renders her ****. Amnesia. Value shift. Elimination. Something like Laurel’s curse. Anything that prevents me from acting.”

She swallowed.

“I can’t be sure Alan can protect her either, for the same reasons, even though I am asking him to.”

“Good,” Tess said softly. “Now we’re being honest.”

Alan looked like he had been slapped.

Tess continued.

“The protected zone would have staff, education, medical care, entertainment, and monitored contact. They would not be alone. They would not be contestants. They would not be placed into adult mechanics. They would grow at a natural subjective rate while time moves faster for them than it does for Atlas or their home dimension.”

Natalia closed her eyes.

“And the cost?”

“That depends on the vote, the implementation, and how interesting you are.” Tess smiled. “But there will be a cost.”

“Fuck,” Alan whispered.

“Oh,” Tess added, brightening suddenly, “and of course we have a Best Girl Poll. After the vote, Laurel has a prize to select for her victory in the first challenge.”

https://strawpoll.com/GeZARLNoXyV

No one looked ready for another prize.

Tess still smiled with Alan’s face.