Caller ID services were first formally defined in 1993

Your phone might not know that number, but you recognize it from earlier today.

“That’s Penelope!” you say.

“Calling this late, I bet she’s horny,” Molly says with a grin.

“Shush!” you say.

Tammy nods. Molly sighs. “I know, I know,” she says. “Sonia’s an outlier,” and she makes a lip-zipping gesture.

You answer the call – and then, because you don’t want to have to repeat everything afterward, you put Penelope on speaker.

“Hi!” you say. “Penelope?”

“Jacob!!!” she says. She sounds thrilled. “I hope I’m not calling too late?”

“Uh, if this was a regular work night for me I’d say yes you were, but… well, you know. What’s up?”

“Well… first, I wanted to tell you again how much I enjoyed having lunch with you today! You’re so wonderful to talk to!”

Tammy silently makes an “awww” face; Molly gives you a thumb’s-up.

“Thank you! I had a great time too, you’re wonderful too!”

“Also… I know I said I’d text you about the logistics for tomorrow afternoon, but… I mean, we can talk about that right now, yeah?”

“Sure?”

“How about we meet at the food court again? Twelve thirty? We can have lunch together and then go to your building?”

“That sounds great. And thank you so much for helping me with this.”

Penelope’s Affection and Love scores were in the 90s last you looked, so you’re pretty sure she’d do just about anything for you, but that’s no reason to not thank her.

“It’s the least I can do after I was such a bitch to you for so long!”

Molly looks startled; you make a SHUSH! gesture to her. She bites her lip, but nods.

“Penelope –” you begin.

“You can call me Penny if you want!” she says hastily, and something in her tone feels… maybe a little… off?

“Do you want me to?” you ask.

There is a pause, during which you hear the Multiplier buzz.

Then she says “No. I prefer ‘Penelope’.”

“Okay then. So what I was saying – Penelope, during the past year, did you ever shit-talk me to anyone? Did you ever sabotage any projects I was involved with, did you ever try to make me fail?”

“No!” she says, startled. “Of course not! I just avoided you!”

“And I forgive you for that. Okay?”

The Multiplier buzzes again.

“Okay,” she says, and she sounds a little sniffly. “… Eric wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not Eric.” Penelope hasn’t told you a lot about her ex-husband, but what you’ve heard, you very much don’t like.

“No,” she says firmly. “You’re a lot better.”

“Did you ever tell him you preferred ‘Penelope’ instead of ‘Penny’?”

There’s another pause, then she chuckles. “For a second, I was actually wondering how you knew about that. Then I remembered – oh, right, he’s a damn good analyst. And yes, I did tell him that, at first.” She sighs. “I guess I’ve still got residual Eric damage.”

Tammy looks sympathetic.

“How long were you guys together?”

“Two and a half years. Married him right out of high school, which I hope is the worst mistake I’ll ever make. Or… ever made? You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Penelope makes an exasperated noise. “How the fuck did we end up talking about Eric?”

“Sorry!”

“No, no, it’s not your fault,” she assures you. “I mentioned him first, and you’re just… you’re a really good listener, y’know?”

Molly points at her ear, and nods enthusiastically, and gives you another thumb’s-up.

“Thanks.”

Penelope heaves a long sigh. “This is really not how I imagined this conversation going,” she admits.

“Is there something else you wanted to talk about instead?”

For several seconds, you don’t even hear Penelope breathe. Then:

“Jacob?” she asks, and she suddenly sounds shy. “Can I… can I tell you a secret?”

“… sure?”

“I was thinking about you in the office this afternoon.”

“Oh?”

She takes a deep breath.

“… I wanted to touch myself while I was thinking about you,” she says. “But I couldn’t, because I was in the office. But I’m doing it now.”

The Multiplier buzzes, and your cock stiffens. Also, Tammy’s eyes widen, and then she gets to her feet and tiptoes out of the room.

“Are you.”

You already knew that Penelope’d had a wild fantasy about you, because you’ve read her updates log, but that’s different from hearing her tell you about it directly.

“Mm hm,” she says. “I was wearing my pajamas when I called, but now I’m taking them off. Do you like knowing that I’m stripping for you, Jacob?”

You’ve never had phone sex, but the principle seems simple enough.

“I love it,” you tell her, as Tammy returns with towels and hastily places them on the bed; you and Molly adjust your positions so that you’re on them.

“And now I’m totally naked for you. I’ve got my legs spread, and I’m rubbing my pussy thinking about you. Does that make you so hard?”

“It does, yeah!”

“My nipples are all stiff and swollen for you, Jacob,” she says. “Do you like my big round titties? Do you like the idea of sucking them? Biting them?”

You glance at Molly, and are not at all surprised to see that she’s masturbating.

“Are your nipples very sensitive?” you try asking.

“Oh god yes,” Penelope says. “Twist my nipples, bite my neck, oh god I’m so wet for you, Jacob, I’m so wet!” You hear a slurp and realize she’s sucking her fingers.

Just then Tammy comes back in with a bunch of towels, and hastily places them on the bed; Molly grabs a pair of panties from Tammy’s dresser and shoves them in her own mouth, and then gets back to work on whatever number orgasm this is for her today, you’ve stopped keeping track.

“Do you need me to fuck you?” you ask.

“Oh yes, oh yes, I need it, I need you,” Penelope says. “Are you touching yourself for me, Jacob? Are you jacking off?”

No, you’re actually not, because Tammy has crawled between your legs and is enthusiastically sucking your cock, for the second time tonight.

“Mmmm,” you say, which isn’t a lie.

“I have two fingers in my pussy now, Jacob,” Penelope goes on. “I’m pretending they’re you. I bet you’re soooo much bigger, though, aren’t you.”

You know very well what she’s expecting you to say, but you’ll never get this straight line again.

“I don’t remember how big your fingers are, but… probably!”

Tammy snorts, but continues sucking your cock.

Penelope bursts out laughing. “Jacob!” she says mock-reproachfully. “You’re supposed to say, oh yes, baby, my cock is huge!”

“‘Oh yes, baby, my cock is huge,’” you repeat politely.

“No, no, not ‘huge’, ‘HYUUUUUGE’!”

Tammy’s eyes bulge.

“HYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJ,” you say in as deep a voice as you can manage, which is pretty deep.

Tammy spits out your cock and clamps her hands over her mouth to muffle her hysterical outbreak of giggles. She’s almost as red as when she was orgasming.

“And you’re gonna fuck me sooo good with that huge cock, aren’t you,” Penelope says, her voice husky. “Are you getting close, Jacob? Have you started ooooozing pre-cum?”

You can’t actually check, because Molly pulled the panties out of her mouth and is now sucking your cock, her head bobbing up and down as her fingers dip in and out of her pussy. But you feel safe in saying “Uh huh!”

“Do you want to cum in me?” Penelope asks.

“Yes!” you tell her.

“Do you want to fuck my hot little pussy and pump me full of your hot gooey cum?” she continues. “I’m rubbing my juices on my nipples, oh christ, oh fuck, I’m rubbing my clit, I’m imagining you bending me over my desk at work and yanking up my skirt and ripping off my panties and stripping me nude and, oh god, fucking me right there in front of everyone, making me – making – making – oh god – making me yours, oh god, oh fuck, oh Jacob, oh god, I’m yours, I’m yours, oh god yes yes yes YES YES FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK JACOB FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUCK!”

The pleasure surges through you, and you spurt and spurt and spurt and rapidly overflow Molly’s mouth.

“Wow,” you eventually say. Molly proudly swallows her mouthful, and Tammy, who has thank god stopped giggling, licks the rest off her face.

Penelope is panting. “Holy shit that was good,” she says. “That was so good. That was so… that was good. You… you came real hard for me, yeah?”

“I did, yeah,” you confirm.

“Woohoo!” she says. “I made you cum!” Then she sighs. “Although, to be honest… we probably shouldn’t actually fuck at work. Since I’m your manager now.”

“Oh. I guess that’s true.”

“I can recommend you for a promotion, but there aren’t any openings right now. Well –” and she giggles again – “there’s one opening that’s just for you, but…!”

You laugh too – and thank god you were loud enough to drown out Tammy laughing!

“So instead of fucking at work, would you like to fuck me in my bedroom?” Penelope offers.

“… I mean, yes, I would absolutely love that, but now that you mention it, the manager thing is probably something we should be careful about.”

“Totally,” she agrees. “Managers and employees fucking, that’s really taboo.”

“I never thought of it quite like that, but I guess you’re right,” you tell her.

“Do you think the whole taboo aspect makes it even hotter?” she asks.

You blink. “Uh… maybe?”

“Is that why you’re fucking your sister?”