Madison has an idea.

"I think that's a great idea," Ross said. He reached for Pat's forehead but Madison grabbed his arm.

"Wait a second. I don't think you should give her the Old Pat script." Pat protested again that she was a human and both ignored her.

"Why not? Are you worried she might get violent or something?"

Madison scoffed. "Are you kidding? Every script in that box is guaranteed to be completely toothless. Chambers would never give his ex-wife the ability to hurt him. No, I think Old Pat and New Pat should have a conversation. I think it would be good for them."

"They're fucking dirt," Andrew said. He waved his glass at Pat, sloshing expensive booze onto the ottoman. "She's dirt. Who cares what's good for them?"

"I don't know," Madison said softly. "I just feel like we should do it. It- they're scripts, yeah, but there's a real person under there. Real Pat may be a thousand miles away but Old Pat is here and it sounds like she could use some closure."

"I'm Real Pat," the Pat golem said. The love modifier ensured that her voice was completely free of irritation; she was simply correcting a friend who had her facts wrong.

"So what, we give you the script?" Ross asked. "Why would you do that? Don't you wanna hear all this?"

"Of course I do," Madison said. "That's why you're gonna record it for me. Make me Old Pat and let me and New Pat talk this through. And Ross, as a favor to me, try not to talk to much. Explain as much as you need but don't railroad them. I really want this poor girl to meet her original."

Pat had given up on correcting them. She asked Andrew how he liked the whiskey. He belched and complimented it, then commanded her to remove his pants for him and give him a lap dance.

"What are you doing?" Madison asked with a grimace. Pat had tossed his cheap jeans aside and was rubbing her bare ass across his erection with a pleasant, nonchalant smile. "Didn't you hear that?"

"I heard it," Andrew said. "Didn't you hear me say I got blue balls? Old Pat or whatever can still talk while this one does what she promised."

"I didn't promise anything," Pat said. Andrew slapped her ass hard and she yelped before continuing her sexy motions across his lap. Madison turned to Ross and held out the Pat 1.0 script.

"For me?" she asked sweetly, and Ross took the script.