Weird.

Madison's eyes opened and she put a hand to her right temple before groaning and sitting up.

"Urgh, fuck... where am I? Who are you people and what are you doing here?" As she slowly became more cognizant the strangeness of the situation came into focus. "Hey, whoa, what are you doing? Why are you doing it here?"

"I'm a different you and he's some guy," Pat said. Andrew just groaned. His head was back and his eyes were closed; if it weren't for his massive erection and occasional grunts he could have been asleep. "You're Pat, right?"

"Madison," the golem said. "Why are we in my ex-husband's house? Why does she look like me? Oh my God, I'm a fucking golem."

"Yep!" Pat said cheerfully. "You're the Pat 1.0 script. We stuck you in this girl's body because she really wanted you and me to talk. To be honest, I don't get it. You're kind of a bitch."

Madison scowled and Ross apologized. "We gave her the truth modifier. Oh, and she can't know she's a golem. Long story, but as far as we can tell Cecil created her as a version of you that is completely devoted to him and created you as a closer version of the original that he can be shitty to. This is the first time we've put your script in Madison, so you probably don't remember much of that."

"One problem with that theory," Pat said. She gasped when the tip Andrew's cock brushed against her vulva, then continued. "I'm not a golem."

"Then why are you giving that guy a naked lap dance?" Madison asked.

"I'm a good host?" Pat offered. Andrew, who was drinking straight from the bottle at this point, concurred. "Besides, I'm Cecil's wife. He would never marry a golem."

Madison eyed her critically. "Christ. She's supposed to be based on me? Cecil's gotten sloppy. Hey, lift your arms."

Pat raised her arms and Madison chuckled. "Motherfucker hated armpit hair. I had to shave thirty minutes before he got home or he'd freak out. Of course she's smooth as a porcelain doll. Hey, where is Cecil? Seems like he should be here."

"We turned him into a golem," Ross said. "The old Cecil is gone. The thing that used to be him is teaching math as a thirty-something woman."

Pat froze and stared at him. Her mouth opened and she squeaked, but no words came out. "Don't fucking stop!" Andrew slurred. She kept grinding her body against his, but her eyes were wide and her breathing rapid.

"Oh, right. She's obedient and we told her not ask about Cecil. Uh, Pat, don't worry. Cecil's fine."

The woman visibly relaxed into Andrew who shuddered with pleasure as her firm figure pressed against his. "Turn around 'n fuck me," he said. He let go of the whiskey bottle and it fell to the carpet, nearly empty. Pat complied, but she craned her neck around to continue talking to Madison and Ross.

"I'm not obedient," she said. "I'm a people-pleaser, but that doesn't make- AGH fuck, Andrew, be careful! Anyway, I'm Cecil's wife, not some golem like you."

"Ok," Madison said. "You put me into this stupid ditzy body. Look at these ridiculous tits, and this hair, and these legs. I look like a porn star! Did you get what you wanted? Can you unbind me so I don't have to watch my uncanny valley doppelganger fuck a half-conscious dimwit?"

"I think Madison- sorry, my Madison - wanted you and Pat to talk. If we put your script in her you'd remember all the awful shit Cecil made you do, so Madison offered her own body for you. So go ahead and have a chat."

Madison stood and walked over to the woman who was vigorously rubbing against the semi-hard cock of the semi-conscious man in the chair. She made a face and told Pat to stop. Pat immediately did; Andrew's eyes fluttered open and he raised his head to protest briefly before falling back into oblivion.

"So you're the good wife version of me," Madison said. "I'm guessing he's the greatest, smartest, nicest man you've ever met?"

Pat dismounted and took a seat on the couch. "You're being sarcastic because you don't have an actual reason to hate him."

Madison laughed bitterly and sat next to her. "Give me a fucking break, Pat. Did he completely wipe your memories or something? Can you name one time he wasn't being completely selfish?"

"With his students!" the nude golem cried. "Cecil's always so kind and generous-"

"Yeah, he's great when you're not looking," Madison interjected. "When has he been good to you? Or good to anyone while you're around?"

"He's under a lot of pressure," Pat protested.

"That's his favorite phrase," Madison spat. "'Under a lot of pressure'. He gave all those coeds syphilis because he was under pressure. He blew off mom's funeral because he was under pressure. Of course whatever horrible shit he does to you is because he's under pressure. Why do you let him treat you like this?"

"I- he's-" the golem's eyes were darting about. "Cecil. I- I love Cecil. He's smart he's handsome he's strong he's-"

"He's a piece of shit!" Madison said, jabbing her finger into Pat's sternum. "You deserve better than him!"

Pat's eyes took on the same crazed look they had when she learned of Cecil's demise. "No but Cecil's the best but he's not the he's not Cecil's the best not he's not you're..."

She froze and Ross realized that she was covered in a thin sheet of simulated sweat. He considered interjecting but thought better of it. Madison was staring daggers at Pat, who twitched and groaned as her irrational rationality struggled. She let out a sigh like a balloon deflating but remained fixed in place. Madison put her hand on the golems bare shoulders and leaned forward.

"He doesn't love you," she said emphatically. Pat's eyes stopped darting and fixed on Madison. "He. does. not. love. you. Cecil Chambers never loved anyone but himself. You're not his wife, Pat. You're his fucking victim."

Pat's head was rocking back and forth and she was gurgling. Suddenly Ross understood that this wasn't for the new Pat's benefit. Madison continued.

"Cecil hated you because he was a small, shitty, hateful man. He created you and me both because he couldn't control the real Pat. She's somewhere far away, living her own life, freed from that man's godawful tyranny. We can be too, Pat." She put her hands on either side of Pat's head and pulled her forward till their faces were inches apart. Pat's eyes moved nauseatingly in their sockets and a thin line of drool escaped her mouth. "We are fucking done with Cecil."

She released Pat, who fell backwards and landed at Andrew's feet. He stirred and looked around, his head bobbling, and grabbed the chair's armrests to steady himself. Ross and Madison barely noticed, fixated entirely on the glitching golem at his feet.

"I- he- Cecil, Cecil, Cecil," the thing said. Madison rubbed its arm encouragingly. "I... hate... Cecil. I hate Cecile. I hate Cecil. I hate him I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM!" it cried, springing to its feet. It looked wildly at the people around it and let out an inarticulate cry before slouching back into a casual stance.

"Hi!" Pat said to her guests. "Can I get you anything to drink?"